Love and Relationship Can A Life Coach Help You Find True Love? 7:00 AM Can a life coach help you find true love? For the last few years, I have been struggling to find someone I can share my life with. When I turned 36, all of a sudden I could feel my biological clock ticking. All my friends were married with children, and I started doubting myself. Is there anything I'm doing wrong? I began to seek support from friends and family. Some suggested that I find a life coach who specializes in women my age, looking for their soulmates. After doing some searching, I found a great coach who instantly understood my situation and was able to pinpoint exactly what was going on, and why I was struggling to find a companion. The first thing she did was have me read the book Finding True Love: The 4 Essential Keys to Discovering the Love of Your Life. The author, Daphne Rose Kingma emphasizes the importance of spiritual and emotional preparation for love, which, if undertaken, will result in discovering the love of your life. She describes the four qualities necessary for love:faithtrustintentionsurrenderShe divides the discussion into four parts, each devoted to one of the qualities, exploring its part in attaining the emotional and spiritual attitudes required for finding the love of one’s life. Through sensible steps and advice, she challenges readers to uncover and discover the reasons they have not found a fulfilling relationship and to set it right. The two things that immediately stood out for me were trust and surrender. I really had a hard time with them in past relationships, and my love and dating coach helped me to see how I was self-sabotaging myself every time I met a new man.I had an old wound from the past that had not been healed (my first boyfriend cheated on me). I would enter every new relationship with trust issues. As I looked back on my previous relationship, I could see how I was probably driving him nuts because I could never fully trust him as I always feared whether or not he was going to cheat on me. Because of this, I knew that I ended up pushing him away, and once I finally accepted responsibility and owned it, I was able to begin the healing process. Because of my lack of trust issues, I could never fully surrender to any relationship. As my life coach and I did some analysis work, I was able to see how my inability to surrender probably made the men in my life feel like I had a wall up. After six months of work with my life coach, I was finally able to meet the man of my dreams. I can honestly say that I genuinely feel we will spend the rest of our lives together.Can a life coach help you find true love? Mine did. I have faith that yours will too.Article submitted by a guest blogger.This post contains affiliate links so we'd get a commission if you purchase through the links at no additional cost to you.
Love and Relationship Building Intimacy Through Nurturing Fondness and Admiration 3:59 PM Have you ever looked at an elderly couple who seem deeply in love with each other and wondered what the secret to their success is? John Gottman and colleagues have spent years exploring the question of what accounts for success in long-term relationships. According to Gottman, couples such as these are not happy because they never fought or have entirely compatible needs and interests, but because they took the time out to create a positive, enduring, intimate friendship. Gottman’s work has spanned understanding communication and conflict resolution and has focused increasingly on the central importance of generating positivity in intimate relationships. Based on his research, he generated 7 principles that are key to healthy relationships. I have also previously focused on three of these fundamental features of successful relationships. These principles are elements of the seven principles that Gottmann identifies as the key to healthy relationships. Let’s explore another one of these principles: nurturing fondness and admiration. Building Intimacy Through Nurturing Fondness and Admiration We are all familiar with the first stage of a relationship where you are “totally head over heels in love” with your partner. You can’t get enough of him or her, you want to spend every waking (and sleeping) minute together, everything he/she does is adorable, and you have so much admiration for him/her. This initial stage of infatuation is characterized by intense fondness and admiration for your partner, but as any of us know who have been in a relationship for a little longer, that first phase starts to fade after about two years. Tumblr What we used to find endearing can quickly become a habit that really irritates us. In fact, this phase alone is likely a primary reason as to why so many people have sought out relationship/marriage counseling. This initial phase is sustained and bolstered by romantic attraction and as it begins to fade the couple starts to view their relationship in a more realistic light. It is from this more realistic perspective that a foundational basis for the relationship going into the future can be built. That is not to say that romantic attraction is not a significant element of an intimate relationship nor that it is incompatible with building genuine admiration and fondness for your partner. However, the romantic attraction that sustains infatuation is just a phase in a relationship that waxes and wanes (more often wanes) over the course of the life of the relationship. So how do you nurture genuine fondness and admiration? How do you develop, sustain and express genuine fondness and deep appreciation of your partner? Let’s start with exploring how you can develop fondness and appreciation for your partner. Adopting a conscious process of developing fondness and appreciation is essential to this principle. Fondness, a pure affection for your partner, needs to be rooted in an actual awareness of the qualities that generate this feeling towards your partner. Buzzfeed Similarly, admiration that is simply loose and ungrounded in specific qualities lacks substance and may not weather the storm of challenges to the relationship. So, spend the time working out exactly what it is about your partner that nurtures your feelings of fondness and admiration for him/her. Complete statements such as “I love how you “, “I enjoy spending time with you because “, “I admire you because “and “I am proud of you when “. Take the time out to consider these questions in relation to your partner and make this active appreciation of his/her qualities a regular feature of your life. Developing and sustaining fondness and admiration is only step one of this principle. In order to nurture a loving connection with your partner, it’s essential that you express the love and appreciation you have developed. Through sharing your affection with your partner, you express and actualise the feelings you have for him or her. Make this expression a discipline and regularly communicate the positive feelings you have for your partner. You may think that your partner is aware of the fondness and admiration you feel for him/her but openly expressing these feelings in as specific a way as possible (e.g. “I love the way you always kiss me goodbye in the mornings”) will only serve to nurture positivity and strengthen the relationship. Communicating your feelings gives a certain reality and maturity to the admiration, appreciation and affection that you feel, and has a positive cyclical impact on the relationship. A partner who is the recipient of fondness and appreciation is much more likely to be open in his/her expression of fondness and appreciation for the other. Nurturing fondness and admiration is a core tool for generating positivity in a relationship. Giphy The focus on positive interactions is the underpinning feature of Gottman’s understanding of relationship success. So, take the time to develop and express the positive feelings you have for your partner. Make developing and expressing fondness and admiration a part of how you interact with your partner on a day to day basis, and notice how it enhances the loving friendship you are building with your partner. Author Bio: Dr. Stacey Leibowitz-Levy is a highly-experienced psychologist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology and a PhD in the area of stress and its relation to goals and emotion. In addition to her private therapy practice, she currently runs a mental health guide with self-help guides on stress, anxiety, depression, and many other areas. During her spare time, Stacey enjoys spending time with her husband and children, being outdoors and doing yoga. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Listicle 7 Birthday Gifts For Husband To Express Your Emotions Best 5:32 PM Your husband has been your pillar of strength. He stood by you to guide you, support you and protect you when the time called. And while you live a routinely life with him, not every little thing would seem special like the way they appear before the wedding. It’s time you make an extra efforts and plan something so special for him that he doesn’t forget it for a long time to come. For all the times he took efforts to love you even in the oddest and roughest of times, it’s time to return the favor. Presenting 7 birthday gifts for your husband that he would keep thanking you for. Take the guide: 7 Birthday Gifts for Husband to Express Your Emotions Best 1. Personalized Leather Bracelets Show off to the world that you are a couple with personalized bracelets. Choose the rugged look for the bracelets rather than one with the sheen so that he wears it without any second thoughts. You can personalize it with short phrases, Roman numerals of the date you met, each other’s name in heart and so forth. 2. Grooming Set For men, it is as essential to be groomed as it is for women. Gift him a grooming set and pamper him like never before. Even if he is not much into fashion and grooming, your enticing gift shall definitely be a good drive. 3. Fitness Band Both of you have reached a stage where health should be of first and foremost importance. Let him know you care for him a lot more by gifting him a fitness band and is a perfect way of making him realize you love him. 4. Fulfill Something From His Bucket List He might be having a long bucket list. It’s time to tick one thing off his bucket list. Plan it beforehand and surprise him. Whether it’s bungee jumping or scuba diving, let him have what his heart has been desiring since long. 5. Cook Something Special What’s his most favorite dish of all times? If it’s something that you haven't tried yet, cook it for him at home. Do not forget to include the favorite birthday cake for husband, be it vanilla, red velvet, Oreo or any other flavor. 6. Watch His Favorite Movie Even if you hate his favourite movie or web series, bear it for a day just to see him smile. Create a nook with fairy lights, bean bags, lots of cushions and snacks. Cozy up with him and put the movie on play. 7. Write A Letter Writing a letter is quite old school for sure. But they are one of the most effective ways to spill out every bit of your emotion. Even if you are too clumsy with words, penning down something over paper with pen would definitely touch his heart and prove him that you have put efforts just for him. With these gifts to help you surprise your husband, we bet he would love you a lot more than ever. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Love and Relationship Advice On Modern Dating From Someone Who Found Love Online 3:11 PM Modern dating. It's so different from what dating used to be. Is it possible to find love online? How to make it work for you? Are there social rules to follow? Relax and learn from this advice on modern dating from someone who found love online. Is it possible to find love in modern dating? Yes, it is. I know a number of people who met their partners online and are now happily married. I am one of them! I met my husband via online dating. If you know me, you know that it is so out of character for me to put myself out there so to speak. I'm an introvert. So the thought of creating an online profile on a dating site made me cringe at first. Inside I was screaming: "This is so not me!" Working from home for 12 hours a day, the chances of meeting someone from my workstation to our kitchen is zero. I talked to a friend about this dilemma and she told me to try online dating. She's met a few nice ones.Her advice was simple:Block someone you don't like. How to make modern dating work for you? Advice on Modern Dating Keep private things private After I weighed the advantages of modern dating several times, I finally decided to do it. I posted a photo and a bio that's as descriptive as I can make without giving away information that are too personal. How? Just put the details you can afford the world to know. Share what you're ready to share to anyone you meet. There are questions you can skip if you're not comfortable with answering them. Don't give your address or contact number. Don't give personal information that can be used to harm you. Giphy Be modest Some girls post almost naked photos online and complain about men sending them abusive or harassing messages. Yes, even when you post modest pictures, you'll still get harassed. I was. So I agree that it is not really about the way you dress. You can't help it if some men are naturally a*holes. Be classy. Be modest. Not for other people but for yourself. Dress appropriately. Dress for the occasion. Some photos aren't meant to be posted online. How to know if you should post that flattering photo or not? Think about it this way: if your children or grandchildren will see it, will it make them want to un-see it or will they be okay with it? Or use your better judgment. Giphy Follow your instinct If someone makes you feel inappropriate, don't try to justify it. Some online predators are good in manipulating their victims by making them feel like it's their fault. Don't accept this BS. If he makes you feel uncomfortable, follow what my friend told me: block that person! Or do what I did. I reported first (so admin of online dating sites can investigate if this person is a spam or troll and make appropriate action), then blocked them too. Follow your gut feeling at all times. Enjoy the process but be smart and vigilant. If marriage is the ultimate goal of your dating, you have a lifetime ahead of you. There is no reason to rush the person or the situation. Take your time in knowing the person. Gifsec Use it to your advantage One of the pros of online dating is that the other person can't touch you or do anything harmful to you from his end. That is, if you won't give him the power to. Use modern dating to your advantage. Stay on the safe side. If he's really serious about pursuing you, he will find a way. That's when you can also determine who's serious or who's just there to prowl for their next catch. Giphy Don't invest in emotions quickly If you think it won't work, move on. I've met a few who had the potential of being a good partner; a good conversationalist, respectful even when we have different opinions, funny, talented, smart, and attractive. It could be exciting exchanging messages but be careful to not fall in love too soon. One of the reasons you may be trying online dating like foc.dating is because you haven't found luck on traditional face-to-face dating. Like in real-life dating, just enjoy the getting-to-know stage first. As they say, "Explore your partner's mind and not their bodies." Modern dating is where that could be observed. See if your partner could handle different types of topics and how they express their views. How respectful are they when you both disagree? In the end when you're old and weak, sex will be out of the question. But you'll always have conversations. Giphy Involve people in your life It is important to ask for other people's advice. Third party can see more clearly and therefore can tell you honestly what they think is happening. They are your reality check because they could be objective. When you've arrived to the point of meeting in person, let family and friends know about your whereabouts. If possible, bring someone with you. Meet in a public place in broad daylight There are many reports of people meeting for the first time after chatting online that didn't end well. So to be safe, bring a friend or friends in your meet-up. They don't have to join you at your table. Just keep them around to keep an eye on you. What I did as I went alone (I was confident as we're meeting in my "territory"), was I shared every detail to my cousins in our group chat. They're actively asking me where I was and I would tell them. I would even send photos of where we ate, as well as screenshots of Grab driver details. If something wrong would happen, they have the information needed to track me. (Thank God they didn't need it). Meet in a public place during daytime. Make sure you know the place. It's safer for you both. Tumblr Pray about it I prayed about online dating before meeting someone. Is this the right path for me? Well, I will lose nothing if I try. When someone asks me how I know it was him because it seems too fast, I always say it's because I felt calm inside. There was no pressure. I was not rushing. I was not scared to be alone but the thought of being with him isn't scary at all too. It was promising. There were questions and doubts but he has proven himself to me that convinced me to take a leap of faith. Most of all, he's a man of God. Not just in words but in action. I don't think you can go wrong with someone who puts Jesus first before anything else. Giphy Conclusion Modern dating is not easy. There will be jerks, indecent proposals, misunderstandings with some and there will be ghosting. I've lost interest at some point and decided to quit it. Why do I keep my profile when I don't even check it anymore? Why do I even bother when I don't even open some messages and just delete them, blocking senders or ignore invites altogether? But I decided to give it one more try before turning my back to it forever. I decided to reply to the last messages and see where it will take me. I'm so glad I did. Because after I replied to this one man, we never stopped chatting since. Modern dating, this thing I considered superficial and not worth considering before I tried it, actually changed my life. Take this advice on modern dating. It's from someone who found love online after all.
Love and Relationship From Happy Single To Engaged And Ecstatic 12:25 PM This year is my best one yet; my best and longest birthday celebration so far. My craziest and most amazing journey and transformation---from happy single to engaged and ecstatic. Yes, it finally happened (Sumome newsletter subscribers already knew as I told them about it before posting. I encourage you to subscribe in the pop up so I can keep you updated and send you soul foods). Just when I thought I'd be single forever and was so ready for it, God gave me this most wonderful surprise. For those who are asking, I've been single for 5 years and I'm in my mid-30's now. Indeed when God works, He works in ways that will leave us in awe. As Hudson Taylor said, "There are three stages to every great work of God; first it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done." From Happy Single To Engaged And Ecstatic Impossible It felt like finding my OTL (One True Love) was impossible. I've dated a few and although I tried to make each one work, it just didn't. When I thought or maybe made myself believe that I've found my prince, he turned out to be just another frog. I've had an ex (or two) who cheated on me. An ex who loved to point out what's wrong with me; my appearance, what's lacking in my life, my mistakes and imperfections. An ex who never pays attention when I talk. An ex who just couldn't keep the promise anymore and chose the easy way out; he walked away---when I needed him the most. Exes who borrowed money and never paid, lied to my face, and those who felt entitled to anything. (Did it sound like I have many exes? Well, most of these characters are found in just one person. Or two). I've met people who discouraged me and gave me second thoughts about true love's existence. Or happy endings. Maybe love is just found in movies or books made up by people desperate to find it? It seems impossible to find it in the real world. Difficult Yet no matter how wrong the men I dated were and no matter how badly I was treated, I always find myself believing that someday I will find someone who will honor me, cherish me, and show me how it is to be truly loved. That love exists and I will one day experience and share it with the one destined to be mine. That God is still writing my love story and He's perfecting it. So I waited. And oh, how long and difficult it was. I endured the insults. I had to remind myself that if someone thinks there's something wrong with me for choosing this path, there is something terribly wrong with them. I had to be patient---very patient, and wait for God to deliver His promise. There were times when I am so at peace with myself I go to bed heaving a sigh of relief that I can do whatever I want when I want to without complications or anyone to consider. I can remember going home and relishing my alone time in the apartment like any introvert. And going to bed with a smile on my face knowing I can sleep anytime, wake up at whatever time I wish to, and decide whether to stay in bed, go out and meet friends or just stay home and order pizza (something I especially miss). I was enjoying my single life while it lasts knowing in my heart that someday soon, everything will change and I would wish I can go back to the time I am free from commitment. But then... There were many cold lonely nights too, so to speak. There were times when I go to bed with a heavy heart, with such yearning for someone to share how my day went. There were moments I wake up in the middle of the night, longing for a comforting body beside me, assuring me that I am loved and boosting my spirit when I had a long tiring day. Moments when I wish I have someone to share my joys and trials with. There are days when I have to run errands or do chores and wish there's someone there I can rely on to do the heavy, difficult tasks. I will always have to check if the service includes free pick-up and delivery because it's quite challenging for my small frame and back problem. Or look for someone I can pay to do stuff for me. Done When finally I've learned to embrace my single life and all its imperfections, when I finally accepted the fact that it is a possibility that I might end up alone and be totally okay with it, when I finally became at peace with myself and dealt with loneliness like an old frenemy, when I could finally ignore the criticisms knowing that they know nothing about what God has planned for me...that's when God proved that my story isn't over yet. That's when I realized I was ready for more. I was ready for a big change. God has been preparing me for a big surprise---a wonderful bonus to my already great life. It wasn't easy getting to where I am right now from where I was five years ago. I was hurt, betrayed, used, and broken. But then God has proven that my life isn't over with me planning my time alone; securing my future in case there's no one to take care of me. God obviously thinks it is so much better for me to share this life with another---someone He has specially prepared, honed, crafted, formed into the best partner for His stubborn daughter. Someone perfectly imperfect for the imperfect me. How did it happen? Sometimes I have to pause and reflect. Sometimes I have to check the photos and messages on my phone, and the ring on my finger just to be sure I'm not dreaming. Because it seems everything's happening so fast and everything feels so unreal. Wasn't it only yesterday I was single and happy? Now I'm actually engaged! I have to stop and just revel at how amazing God is. I finally met someone willing to spend the rest of his life with me. Someone who liked it enough to put a ring on it. (Thank you, Beyonce.) Like anyone who believes in the power of visualization and asking God for specifics, I wrote down the things I want in my future spouse. My heart rejoices knowing that he ticked off all my list. He is everything I prayed for...and more. Truly God delivers, and when He does you'll be blown away. He will---as always---exceed your expectations. God will give you more than you think you deserve for He loves you more than your human understanding can ever fathom. When I think about my plans that have so abruptly changed this year, I feel like God must be so amused when I was presenting to Him my needs and my goals. They're too small compared to His big plans for me. He knows my needs more than I do. I thank God for his perfect timing. It's all happening when I am not influenced by any strong emotions; fear, desperation, despondency, or anger. I have clarity and so I know I am not being unreasonable or illogical. I'm in no rush. No one is forcing me to do anything. This is me deciding with a clear mind and a ready heart. This is me trusting my gut feeling knowing that this nudge is from God. It all happened when I am not lonely anymore, nor am I afraid to be alone. With God's will, everything falls into place. It's like the universe syncs and moves with you. You are shown favor after favor after favor. So just keep the faith, keep praying, and never ever stop believing in love. Maybe one day you'll find someone to share that love with. Maybe God will send you to a mission where you'll find a different kind of love. Maybe God will give you a heart so big and generous to love a whole community which you can call family. Whatever it is, keep trusting God. He knows best. After all, He invented love. He is love.
Love and Relationship From Wedding Ad Models To Real Life Married Couple 11:00 AM Do you believe in destiny? It’s a curious thing how out of billions of people in the planet, we find one whom we can call our soul mate (Song of Solomon 3:4: I found him whom my soul loves). Sometimes the journey is long before finding “The One”. For some, it comes easy. It’s funny how fate brings two people destined to be together. Take Barry and Belle for example. From wedding ad models to real life married couple. Stories like that remind me that love finds a way. Always! A story of Destiny: From Wedding Ad Models to Real Life Married Couple In year 2010, Barry and Belle met as models for a wedding ad campaign in Singapore. They started out as friends but people could already see how comfortable they were together. Have you seen Hotel Transylvania? There was a moment when the characters Mavis and Jonathan met and they “zinged”. It may not always be like so in real life when two people meet, but there sure is a certain spark that they either deny or not notice due to some reasons. Sometimes it could be because you’re still with someone or is focused on another person or priority. Or because funnily enough, love happens when you least expect it and with the person you never thought you’d fall for. Barry and Belle were busy doing what they’re paid for to do; shoot for a wedding ad. In between takes, they would chat, take photos and enjoy the location for the 2-day photoshoot. Although it was a little challenging for the team to keep the fresh wedding vibe due to the weather in Sentosa Beach, the two did enjoy each other’s company. The second day of the shoot was honeymoon themed and they enjoyed that day as well. I think the whole shoot was destiny’s way of showing them the possibilities of being together in real life. That they can be comfortable with each other, and life is easy when you spend it with the right person. Because fast forward five years after their ad photoshoot, Barry and Belle officially tied the knot! I’m sure there were ups and downs in the five years of their journey before that. There were reroutes, dead-end and paths they’re both unfamiliar with. But what makes the ride exciting and worthwhile more than anything is the person you are walking with. In the end, love conquers all---and the real wedding came to pass. So beautiful! According to Plato, in Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. Zeus had every reason to be afraid of their power. How beautiful it is to finally find your other half who can make you feel like you can do anything as long as they're holding your hand. We all have our own unique story. And what I love is that real love stories, like that of Barry and Belle are more beautiful, colourful, and more fascinating than what we see in movies. Barry and Belle are solid proof that love moves in mysterious ways and that if it’s bound to happen, it will happen. You just got to have faith. Follow BarBelle EverAfter’s journey on Facebook and YouTube. Also check their online shop for cute couple items. Photos from BarBelle EverAfter’s Facebook page Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Listicle 5 Cool Reasons To Call Your Boyfriend Unique Nicknames 9:00 AM We all have our love language. But how do you express your love and affection verbally? How do you keep your relationship interesting and keep the spark by simply talking to your significant other?In an intimate relationship, using pet names is a sweet way to express fondness towards your partner.What makes it extra special is that anyone can call them by their name but the unique nickname you call your boyfriend is exclusive only to you.Here are 5 cool reasons you should start calling your boyfriend unique nicknames. 5 Cool Reasons to Call Your Boyfriend Unique Nicknames 1. It makes him feel special.When you call your boyfriend cute nicknames it makes him feel important and endearing. You may refer to your close friends as "honey" or "sweetheart" but giving your partner a name that's exclusively his own shows him and others that he has a special place in your heart.Choose a nickname that refers to his personality (Snuggle Bear) or favorites (Marshmallow).Nicknames may sometimes make other people roll their eyes but they will score you points to your man and that's all that matters. 2. It can spice things up.Sometimes a nickname could be developed from your experience or from a special bond you formed through the years.Some cute nicknames that can make your partner feel wanted and can excite them are: CasanovaWild ThingMr. HunkLoverboyMy LoverMcSteamyMr. BigGood LookingPrince CharmingHeartthrobHot Stuff 3. It's a good sign of a healthy relationship.According to a study, personal idiom usage is a sign of relationship solidarity---even for friends.There are things that only you and your partner know and sometimes, that includes the origin of the nickname you use for each other.A unique nickname you call your boyfriend can go beyond being cute. It can also show the depth of your relationship.Some nicknames that show you have a good relationship with your partner:Light of my lifeMoon of my lifeDearestMy better halfApple of my eye 4. It shows that you care.You won't believe this but even the toughest guy needs love.Men need to feel that you care for them. Whether they admit it or not, they like the feeling of being babied. Calling them Beloved, My Baby, Bubba, Koala Bear, or My Precious can show them you care. 5. It gives him a confidence boost.Calling your boyfriend nice adorable names can make him feel confident with himself, and in your relationship.He will feel adored. When you call him a unique nickname in front of other people, he'd feel like you're letting everyone know you belong together and you're proud to be with him.Final wordA unique nickname can give your boyfriend a sense of belonging. It conveys devotion and warmth.A nickname though fun should be respectful and not demeaning. It should build your partner's confidence and give him joy. Not make him question his self-worth.Calling your boyfriend a unique nickname will make your bond stronger and closer.What nickname is unique between you and your partner? Gifs from TenorThis post contains affiliate links so I'd get a commission if you purchase through my links at no additional cost to you. This helps me maintain my site. Thanks in advance!
Listicle Guy Red Flags 8:00 PM When you are asked to love everybody indiscriminately, that is to love people without any standard, to love them regardless of whether they have any value or virtue, you are asked to love nobody. -Ayn Rand You see guy red flags, and instead of running away as fast as you can in the opposite direction, you rather shrug it off or turn a blind eye and run towards it. How many women choose to play dumb and lower their standards, hoping that these guy red flags they see are harmless or meaningless? No biggie. But, red flags if ignored can lead to more devastating situations. Before it's too late, save yourself from heartache and more trouble. Common Guy Red Flags He who never listens. When you clearly say "no" for a good reason, and he still proceeds to do it, right under your nose or behind your back. Well, it's only your opinion he doesn't respect. You still matter. Right? He who is too shallow. Too shallow to take you or your relationship seriously. He who lies to your face. All. The. Time. When he tells you he doesn't have any means of communication with his ex, and yet they're actively exchanging comments on Facebook, like each others' posts (Activity Logs, sweetheart), and her name is still on his contact list. Add to that the time he forgot to log out and you "accidentally" read their messages. But, you can't confront him, not if you don't want him to think you're prying. So you pretend you didn't see his "What's up?" and her "Hey, you've lost weight!" reply. It's none of your business after all. They're just being friendly. Then again, he told you they're not on speaking terms, didn't he? He who makes time for everything but you. When he's too exhausted to dial your number, and can't stay up talking to you because he needs to rest, otherwise his health will suffer. Surely you understand, right? Though he's always present in every drinking session there is, in sickness and in health, that's just him showing his loyalty to his friends. You know that. He who can't make up his mind. He makes plans, cancels it. Makes another one, reschedules it. Changes his mind, and cancels it altogether. He doesn't mind messing up your schedule and plans because he's confident that your universe revolves around him. You can cancel other things to make room for him in your calendar. He is your top priority. How dare you not make him your priority. Shame on you. He who couldn't care less. There you are ranting away and pouring your heart out, telling him how bad your day was because your boss/client/customer transformed into the spawn of the devil that he is, or you have had a misunderstanding with a colleague or friend, or you're just being hormonal. And there he is, your handsome prince, focused on his phone, chatting/texting who-knows-who, or reading, or staring blankly ahead. He's too focused on trying to solve your problems that he's totally zoned out. Or he's got his own problems bothering him. Or he's chatting with the president and making plans to solve the present economy crisis. Be supportive! Don't bother him with your frivolous stories. He who belittles you. He scoffs when you tell him about your dreams, he belittles your ideas, he always criticizes your flaws. And he claims he's only joking when he hurts your feelings with his words. He who is a foe to your friends. He doesn't like everything about your friends. Why can't your friends be like his friends? Or at least be like him ---perfect. He who is eternally broke. He frequently borrows money from you. He's not a bum, he's got a job. He's just hard up at the moment. Like he was last month. And the month before that. He's in dire need of money because, all his friends have Blackberry phones, and he can't be left out. He's running out of cigarettes and you know it's not cool to be not smoking. And those cute eyes need a Ray Ban to protect them. It's a matter of life and death. Don't be greedy. He who adores himself. He loves to talk about himself. He is the best thing that has ever happened to you. You must be honored. You ignore the red flags maybe because you know your intuition has never failed you yet, and you hope with all your heart that this time you're wrong. Maybe you desperately want things to work out. Maybe you hope it will go away, or at least change. Maybe you want to persuade yourself that it's normal. Maybe you think you've set your standards too high that you want to believe you can live with these "quirks" anyway. If you think you can live with it, it's all up to you. If you have faith that the other person will eventually change, it's your call. Remember that like everything else in life, who you want to be with is a choice. And you alone are accountable for the actions and choices you make. So, stay or leave? Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
