10 Things You'll Only Understand If You're A Woman

11:00 AM

10 Things You'll Only Understand If You're A Woman 10 Things You'll Only Understand If You're A Woman

I'm a woman of the desert. But above all, I'm a woman.
-Paulo Coelho

How hard is it to be a woman in this patriarchal society?

Are women just making a big fuss out of it because they like drama?

Do women really love drama in the first place?

Women make it look effortless to be a female in a male-dominated world.

But there are things you'll never understand if you're not a woman yourself.

1. The physical transformation from a girl to a grown woman

The shift from a little girl to full-blown womanhood is beautiful but physically painful at the same time. 

Your breasts become sore and sensitive. 

You deal with the unfamiliar and torturous pain of dysmenorrhea or menstrual cramps.

The physical transformation can make you feel clumsy. The psychological change makes you awkward.

Welcome to womanhood! 

Something you'll never understand if you're not a natural-born woman.

You'll Only Understand physical pain of transformation to womanhoodIf You're A Woman

2. The vulnerability that comes with being a woman

No matter how brave you are, a woman's physical strength is no match for men. 

There are some exemptions, of course, but generally speaking, men are still stronger physically.

As a woman, you're an easy target for an assault.

If you're not a woman, you won't understand what it's like to be a walking sexual object. 

You'll only understand the vulnerability of being a woman if you're one.

You'll Only Understand vulnerability If You're A Woman

3. Dealing with the annoying and scary catcalling

Sometimes catcalling can be easily ignored and are harmless. 

But it can also get abusive, offensive, and scary.

Catcalling is not about how you look or how skimpy your dress is. 

It's because you're a woman, and some men are disrespectful, seeing women as sexual objects more than human beings.

You could be all wrapped up and still be catcalled. Because it's not you. It's them.

Only a woman who has had to deal with catcalling, probably since she was 11, will understand how terrible it is to be on the receiving end of jeering.

You'll Only Understand catcalling If You're A Woman

4. The pain of menstrual cramps, pregnancy, labor pain, and actual birth-giving.

Oh, the excruciating period pain a woman has to deal with. Every. Single. Month.

As your uterus contracts, you feel sharp poking pain and tightening around your lower abdomen.

But it doesn't end there.

No, gentlemen. It's more complex.

You also feel soreness in your breast and around your hip and lower back.

Your legs feel as though you ran miles for hours and back again.

As a bonus, you'll even get a splitting headache sometimes.

You're in a constant ruthless circle of pain.

Doctors acknowledge period pain can be almost as bad as a heart attack.

A heart attack!

And the world expects you to keep going like nothing's happening.

Because women can.

They carry on as if everything's normal.

Women make being a woman easy even when many things happen in their bodies simultaneously.

Like you're being tortured, you feel murderous, but you have to keep that sweet smile on your face.

And let's not forget that giving birth is life-threatening. There's a 50/50 chance that a mother will not survive.

Only a natural-born woman can understand the pain and discomfort of menstrual cramps, pregnancy, labor pain, and actual birth-giving.

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You'll Only Understand period pains and childbirth If You're A Woman

Here's a fun reaction from Joshua Caldwell-Clarke when he found out about period pain.

5. The crazy hormonal change only a woman goes through. 

PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome) is a heartless bitch.

And from what I've heard, so is menopause.

Know how postpartum severe depression could get?

Some lead to suicide.

When a woman experiences hormonal change, the term mood swings don't give it justice.

Your hormones are going crazy, and no lessons about the human anatomy can prepare you for the onslaught of irritability, sudden sadness, and sensitivity.

Sometimes you just feel like crying for no apparent reason.

There's also this weird craving for something so badly, often during the middle of the night, but not knowing what that something is. 

You'll Only Understand hormonal changes If You're A Woman

6. The uncanny intuition of a woman.

It's been planted in every woman's DNA to sense danger fast for her to protect her child. 

It comes in handy for other instances too. 

FBI should hire more female investigators. They can unearth secrets better. 

According to a study, women generally access their memories faster than males and date them more precisely.

A woman can tell something's wrong even without clear evidence. Yet.

A woman would remember what you said on March 19, 2001, at exactly 11:27 am. 😏

From experience, a woman's intuition has never been wrong.

You'll Only Understand a woman's intuition If You're A Woman

7. The stereotyping and labels that are given to women.

If a man dates around, he's cool. He's suave. 

If a woman dates random guys, she's a slut.

If a man stays single, he's an eligible bachelor. So he becomes a prize women should compete for. 

People are excited to know if he'll settle down anytime soon.

If a woman is still single in her 30s, she will become a lonely, desperate spinster for the rest of her life. 

People pity or make fun of her.

Where a man is called driven and assertive, a woman is too ambitious and bossy.

Where a man is applauded for speaking his mind, a woman is called a bitch and a know-it-all.

You'll never understand why women must fight harder to break the stereotype unless you're a woman too.

You'll Only Understand stereotyping If You're A Woman

8. Gender discrimination and the need to fight for equality 

Even in our progressive society, some women are still paid less than their male counterparts.

This is sad since studies show that female-led companies perform better.

Meryl Streep said, "I was offered three witches [roles] when I turned 40 - in one year. And I thought: 'Oh, this is how it's gonna go?'"

It seems the world thinks women are less bankable than men, especially as they age, so they deserve lesser pay.

Gender discrimination is everywhere and has been around since time immemorial. 

Women have been underestimated, overruled, pushed aside, and pushed around for a long time.

If you're a woman, you'll only understand the struggle and the need to fight for equal rights.

9. The joy and beauty of carrying and giving birth.

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. They are far superior and always have been. Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. - William Golding

From conception to childbirth, a woman's body does not stop growing a miracle in her womb---a beautiful baby.

According to studies, residual fetal cells stay in the mother's body after giving birth. 

So her children will always be a part of her. Literally.

And you'll never understand childbearing and childbirth unless you have a uterus.

You'll Only Understand childbirth If You're A Woman

10. The unique qualities only a real woman is privileged to possess.

Are women better than men?

Indeed there are many ways where men excel, and they deserve to be celebrated and honored.

But women also possess qualities that are unique only to them.

If you don't have the xx chromosomes, you don't and can't have them.


All these beautiful and not-so-pleasant things a biological woman goes through and possesses are precisely what makes her what she is.

Being a woman is more than what meets the eye. It's more than physical.

To become a woman, you need more than a makeover or a sex transplant.

Just because you grow breasts, wear a dress, put on some makeup, and identify as a woman, doesn't make you one.

You'll never know or understand what being a woman really is unless you were born as one.

Wait! I've got more stories for you...


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  1. I kept myself from commenting about the whole Bruce/Caitlyn thing for these months because I try to do what the most the world should do and ignore anyone associated with the Kardashian clan. But I am more sympathetic to the transgender community. Though Jenner will obviously be left in some social limbo of gender status because this happened at age 65, not in early childhood or teenage years.

    1. Spot on! Totally spot on! Im a guy but this speaks so much about women. This will definitely help us understand what makes women special.

    2. wow .<3

  2. Love the way you write!! Interesting post :)

    Keep in touch

  3. The facts that you have mentioned about a woman that goes through is highly appreciable! It's definitely not easy to be a women!
    New Post:

  4. You are soooooo right! Couldn't say it better - you need to be born a woman in order to be one... I hate that double-standard society we live in! A man can do any stupid thing and he is cool, but if woman does anything like that, depending on a aituation - she's either a slut, a bad mother or an irresponsible creature...

  5. Great job with this, and I agree, Lux. I understand the new show is a flop and he/she is depressed about it. I understand the concept of the transformation, but really....lots more things to be concerned about in life.

  6. Could not agree more, well-written!

  7. I don't care about Bruce or Caitlyn. Not one bit. None of my business and being called a hero is over the top. Not a hero.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  8. I do respect Caitlyn Jenner, but check mark on every item that you've raised :)

  9. I do not care one whit about Caitlyn Jenner. However I feel that you are being unfair about some of your points. 1) Boys growing up to be men go through physical changes that they are taunted for too. Not to mention that crackling voice that some experience. 2) It is deemed perfectly acceptable for women to treat men as sex objects. Even men think it's funny. 3) Studies show that a female's lower body strength is greater than a male's. Also men often feel they have to show emotional strength even as they want to crumple. 4) There are certain biological functions men will not experience. I give you that one. 5) Men have those hormonal swings too. Everyone does. Just as it is with women they experience varying degrees. 6) Many men know when their children need help. It is called being a parent. Women's intuition is in many cases simply paying attention. 7) The examples you give to prove your point are nothing but stereotypes of both men and women. 8) Gender discrimination works both ways. I have often been paid less than my male counterpoints and I object to that. At the same time I have seen men passed by for opportunities that were given to women simply to fill quotas. 9) Again I give you this one. But if a man is a caring father he can feel love for his child too. 10) I do not understand what number 10 means so I will not speak to this one. As the mother of three sons I felt it necessary to show that men are people too. If a man feels he is a woman in a male body who am I to choose for him?

  10. I really like how you approached this topic and I fully support everything you've written.

  11. I truly understand you, i guess, this also be said to all gays in general, like, yeah, we respect them and accept them as they are, but our genders are unique and no way possible that any science can make us feel the natural emotions of who we are as individuals.

  12. I do respect Bruce/Caitlyn for who he is, i don't really have issues about him, but what you point out here are true.

  13. From what I've heard from males transgendered to female, it's mainly the estradiol suppliments that affect disposition and take getting used to. Females have roughly four times the emotional range of men, which means we only know what women are feeling 25% of the time. I imagine it's quite a revelation and anyone who undertakes the transition must be highly motivated. I have to admire that kind of bravery.

  14. Summed up beautifully! Thank you.

  15. Excellent points ... I don't judge her that's not for me to do but I agree as a woman she can never biologically go through certain experiences that we do. ..great post!

  16. nice post!!!

  17. Honestly, I would have a LOT more respect for Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner if she'd never been associated with that Kardashian mess. Anything connected to that group of attention hounds automatically loses respect in my mind.

  18. Thought-provoking post.
    Hugs Lux

  19. Great post, Luxe. I didn't know about #9 ... that explains a lot.

    1. As you say, she is still a man. She never endures the long process to be a woman.

  20. Nobody can measure the level of indifference I have for Caitlyn. But transgender women, and the rest of us to be quite honest, have to be content with what we are. Transgender women won't experience a lot of the things women go through. But that shouldn't keep them from knowing who they really are and what makes them happy.

  21. I agree completely. No matter how much she/he may try and no matter how many surgeries and hormone shots -- Caitlyn won't be a real woman -- for all the reasons you posted above and probably many more. I have a friend going through this and not matter how much that person ends up looking female -- not really. There are just things they can never experience or understand.

  22. Great blog!
    Would you like to support each other by following each other´s blog? ^_^

    Et Omnia Vanitas

  23. Well said, Lux! Thanks for sharing and blessings to you my friend :)

  24. An eye opening post. You provided ideas I had not considered previously. I'm still more focused on gaining universal rights and liberties with a particular bias toward an unfettered future for my daughters.

  25. I haven't heard about all of this social buzz, but I guess there are certain things about being a woman - about being us - that one can't experience from the change happening later down in life or even at all. I liked seeing this post as a collection of all things that make us womanly - the struggles, the good things. I am sure men have theirs too, but they are different!

  26. This was so interesting! Thanks for this post :)

  27. I agree with you 100 percent. He can't really know the challenges women face. He is caught up in a fairytale. I agree it is brave to stand up for what you believe in. I feel he really cares about transgender issues of which I can't relate. I pray for him that he finds Jesus if he has not already given his life to Him. Thanks for sharing this thought provoking article.

  28. Completely agree with your reasons!

    God bless,
    Xo, Claire

  29. Good statements, Lux. Only one thing I didn't agree with and that was respecting him as a man. I feel he has brought the role of both men and women into disrespect and has not acted as a man should.

  30. I couldn't agree more, but I respect him as a person and all the transgender.

  31. I'm not anti-gay or anti-LGBT but aside to your list, people like Caitlyn Jenner will never be a woman because simply he was born naturally with a penis and a scrotum. It's hard to understand LGBT with a single viewpoint. One must be open minded and, of course, a lot of understanding why they shift their gender.

  32. I love being a woman and am sad that he didn't love being the super star Olympian that he was.

    thanks for this

  33. "You'll never know or understand what being a woman really is, unless you were born as one." Word, Sister! Some people think just bec they feel they are women they completely understand what it really is like.

  34. Yes, she may never be a real woman according to your list. But who are we to judge? As long as she is happy with her decision and she doesn't hurt anyone, then I'm all for welcoming her in the sisterhood. :)

  35. So who's Caitlyn Jenner? I don't watch tv at all. He's a he right, so I don't think I'll refer to him as a she or her.

  36. And this is why i'm in a love hate relationship sometimes. LOL

  37. I like you, have never watched one show of this infamous family and all their affairs. I have ZERO interest in any of them. I love how you approached this, Lux. You are so right! Although he seems to have his own 'woman issues'- he will clearly not have the ones you mention here-

  38. Spot on. I totally agree with you. I don't care about his own thing, it's none of my business but I will never consider him as a woman. Never!

  39. Be sure you are eating a balanced good diet, and getting exercise. . . this will help the mood swings and PMS etc. You know cola and soda drinks are bad for you, and they hurt your emotions too. Lastly, be sure to read your Bible every day at least one chapter. Taking a time out to pray and be in God's presence will also help your body, soul and spirit. Thank you for sharing with us here at Tell me a Story.