How To Know Your Worth With 6 Important Questions

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How To Know Your Worth With 6 Important Questions

Every second you spend doubting your worth, every moment you use to criticize yourself, is a second of your life wasted, a moment of your life thrown away.
-C. JoyBell C.

What does knowing your worth mean?

To know your worth is to realize your value, not according to what others think but how you see or measure yourself.

How to know your worth?

Here are 6 important questions you must ask yourself to know your worth. 

  • How do you want to be treated?
  • How do you want to spend your time?
  • How do you like to be reciprocated for what you give?
  • What kind of relationship do you want to have?
  • What kind of person do you want to become?
  • What are your beliefs about yourself?

1. How do you want to be treated?

Knowing how you want to be treated is a step in realizing your worth.

Do you want to be treated with respect and dignity in the workplace, by your circle of friends, or by your partner? 

Or do you want to feel rejected, unappreciated, or derided?

If you say, "I deserve better," you know you're worth more than how you're treated.

Know your worth by realizing how you want to be treated.

2. How do you want to spend your time?

Where do you invest your time?

Do you spend it chasing people who don't accept and appreciate you for who you are?

Do you want to spend your day investing in your growth and improving the quality of your life?

You know you want to spend time with people who lift you higher.

Or on things that can help you improve and get you closer to your dream life.

How you want to spend your time shows how much you value yourself.

Know your worth by knowing how you want to spend your time.

3. How do you like to be reciprocated for what you give?

Know your worth by knowing how you want to be reciprocated.

Respect begets respect. 

But some people feel entitled to receive respect-demands even-but has no intentions of giving it in return.

Some partners want fidelity from their significant other but have no qualms about cheating.

Be selfless in giving your love and service but know your limits.

Know your worth in the relationship.

Set up a boundary for yourself.

Boundaries aren't there to build a wall between you and others. 

It's to protect yourself from abusers. It has self-respect.

Know your worth by knowing how you want to be reciprocated.

4. What kind of relationship do you want to have?

Would you be happy to be in a parasitic relationship where only the other person(s) benefit(s)?

Or would you be more content and at peace in a relationship where you and others involved (co-workers, family, life partner) gain and grow?

Do you want to be with someone who will fight for you or who will give up easily?

When you recognize your worth, you know exactly what relationship you want to be involved in.

Know what kind of relationship you want to have.

5. What kind of person do you want to become?

Do you want to be striving or thriving?

Do you want to be content and happy or perturbed and miserable?

What you're allowing yourself to become shows how much you value yourself.


6. What are your beliefs about yourself?

Your beliefs about yourself don't measure your self-worth.

Newsflash: most of them aren't true!

They're called limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs are lies you tell yourself that restrict you from achieving your full potential.

It's how you measure yourself influenced by how you were raised and what you've heard from others.

Limiting beliefs tell you:

  • You're not good enough.
  • You don't have what it takes to qualify.
  • You don't deserve to move forward.
  • You're not worth it.
Limiting beliefs make you feel unworthy

You will struggle to know your self-worth at first.

Gauge yourself based on how your Creator sees you, not other people's opinions. 

He knows you best.

Here are some Bible verses about knowing your worth:

  • You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
  • Because you are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, people in exchange for your life (Isaiah 43:4).
  • So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised (Hebrews 10:35–36).
  • You can do everything through Christ, who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13).
  • The Lord is your helper, so you don't have to be afraid (Hebrews 13:6).
  • Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear-but. Instead, let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious (1 Peter 3:3-4).
  • Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows (Luke 12:7).
Believe you're worth it

You'll know when to leave a toxic relationship when you realize your worth.

You'll know what, who, and when to quit.

You'll never apologize for things you should not apologize for in the first place.

You'll let go of things that aren't making you happy or money.

What happens when you realize your worth?

You will not shortchange yourself. You will not settle for less than what you deserve.

You know who you indeed are and will not negotiate that with anyone.

You will not waste another second on people or relationships bringing you down.

Knowing your worth is not arrogance. It's embracing the truth about who you are. 

Having self-worth is having self-respect and self-esteem.

It's treating yourself with a healthy amount of self-love.

You're worth more than eight cows.

Have you heard about the story of the eight-cow wife? 

There's a village where a man gives a cow as a dowry to a woman's family to ask her hand for marriage

The more beautiful or "qualified" a woman is to become a wife, the more cows are given. 

Needless to say, a woman's worth is measured by the number of cows she receives from her husband-to-be.

In this village lives a woman named Sarita. To say that she is plain is a compliment. 

Sarita grew up being told that she was worth only one cow. 

Everybody in their village-including her own family-expected nothing more than a single cow when a good-looking and rich gentleman named Johnny Lingo asked her hand for marriage.  
To everybody's surprise and her father's indignation, Johnny Lingo disagreed with the arrangement.

Sarita's father was insulted. Sarita was heartbroken. 

She's accepted that she is worth only one cow, and a man refuse to give her that.  

But Johnny Lingo made himself clear. 

He will not give Sarita one cow...because he believes she is worth more than that. 

He saw something in her that no one else did. 

Sarita, for Johnny, is not a one-cow woman. She is an eight-cow wife.

After their marriage, Sarita somehow transformed physically. 

She now walks with grace. She presents herself with confidence. 

She stands tall and proud because she knows and believes she is an eight-cow wife.

Everybody in their village knows that by now, too.  

The old Sarita's gone. No one looked at her the same way again.

Her joy became evident when she glowed. She radiates. 

Sarita is now one of the most beautiful women in the village. 

Because one man showed her and everyone around her her true worth. 

One man believed that she was extraordinary.

I love this story so much.

It's a good reminder that we are unique.  

We are more than the label others give us.

Do you know how much you're worth

You're worth more than your number of followers and likes on social media. 

You're worth more than the price tag on your clothes and gadgets.

You're worth more than your job or bank account.

You're worth more than your grades in school.

You're worth more than your relationship status.

You're worth more than your social standing.

You're worth more than what people say about you.

Here's a beautiful reminder about knowing your worth by Jeremy Anderson:

You are worth more than the throne.

Think about this:

God left His glorious throne to walk the dusty earth just to be with you...

To feel how you feel and to understand your pain.

You are worth the sacrifice

God did not just offer eight cows for you. He gave you His life. 

You are worth every single drop of blood...

Every torn muscle...

Every tormenting pain Jesus had to endure.

You're worth every drop of tear and sweat from the body of no less than the Son of God.


Remember that the next time you forget your worth.

(Most part of this reflection is from The Feast)

Wait! I've got more stories for you...


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  1. I love this. I will hold my head higher now. Thank you God!

  2. this made me cry. :( thank you. I finally decided today to dump and let go of my boyfriend of more than 8 years who lied, betrayed and made me feel worthless. Now God is lovingly teaching me the lesson. that I can only find genuine love from Him alone.

  3. Why do we buy into the opinions of others? It is crazy our God love us so very much. When others make us feel like we are worthless, we simply need to look at Him. He says, "I love you this much!" And stretches out His nail scarred hands...

  4. Amazing truth! So glad to have found your blog at Embracing His Will's link up.

  5. The 8 cow wife is such a beautiful story! Thank you so much for sharing this at the #SmallVictoriesSundayLinkup!

  6. Such a beautiful story - it shows how much we can raise up those around us by recognising their worth, as well as recognising our own. Thanks so much for sharing at #FridayFrivolity! x

  7. Love this. We are His masterpiece.

  8. As always, you have a way of expressing the love that God has toward us in a mind blowing(ly) beautiful. God is love and I am loved by love itself. Thank you.

  9. I love this! And that you ended with Jesus dying for us makes my heart sing!!
    Thank you!
    Friday Frivolity

  10. Beautiful story! Thank you so much for sharing! ♥

  11. This is absolutely beautiful, Lux! Thank you for such a well written and touching reminder of our worth. I tell myself ugly lies in this area far too often. This was much needed this morning :).

  12. Sometimes we forget how much worth the Lord has given to us!! Compared to 8 cows, He paid it all and sacrificed His life!! My heart is overwhelmed every time I think upon this!! Thanks for sharing this lovely story.
    Blessings, Ann @ Christ in the Clouds =

  13. How beautiful! And a wonderful reminder. Thank you! I'm your neighbor today at Testimony Tuesday