People My Brief Dating History And Feature On DatingNews.com 1:07 AM Post-wedding effect: makes you recall your past life before meeting your spouse. At least that's how it is for me. This includes my short, bittersweet dating days. Let me share my brief dating history and feature on DatingNews.com. Walk down memory lane with me as I remember that crazy, full of twists and turns life journey I've had from singlehood to wifehood. My Brief Dating History and Feature on DatingNews.com First things first I've been sidetracked from blogging after getting engaged. After the wedding, I promised to give more time to updating my loyal audience again. So, I was thrilled when I found out that my blog will be featured on a dating website. Oh, I've not been forgotten by the blogging world after all! 😊 I was recently featured on DatingNews.com, a comprehensive site that's "at the heart of the dating industry" and that puts a spotlight on dating and relationship coaches, matchmakers, lifestyle bloggers, sites, apps, and everything in between. Here's a little bit of what they had to say. You can read the rest of the article here. "Lux started the About Life and Love blog to reach out to singles and couples everywhere and let them know they’re not alone. Her articles touch on matters of the heart with a refreshing honesty and sense of humor. Whether she’s recommending a date-worthy shade of lipstick or giving wedding planning tips, Lux delivers down-to-earth guidance based on her own experiences navigating the dating scene." Here's a brief look back on my dating history and some helpful tips 🔔 from that experience I'd like to share. Dating in high school I was raised in a conservative culture in an old fashioned way. You could say it's a little backwards. I wasn't allowed to date when I was in high school. That seems alright and normal for our culture. But what I didn't understand before was that my mom would scold me for getting letters from suitors (yes, I was born before texting). I'd like to believe that I'm a good daughter so the effect on me was that "Gosh, she's right. There must be something horribly wrong with me. Why am I getting all this attention?" My mother made me feel terrible for something totally normal for a teenager to experience. So I never went out with boys alone back then. It's always a group date and it's always done in secret. 😝 I tried to be open with the family about who's giving me flowers and chocolates, who the letters are from or who asked me out. My mom would always say bad things about them. Which is crazy I know but welcome to my life. High school dating summary: always in group and in secret College life When I realized that my course was difficult, I told myself there's no way I am dating in college. I couldn't even find the time to brush my hair or put some powder on my face. After class, especially after lab (laboratory), me and my classmate just go find food not even checking ourselves in the mirror. Dating in college summary: Non-existent Real world I dated again when I started working. I could count all the guys I went out with in one hand. Some were brief, others were years long. Like half a decade long. Was I serious with any of them? Yes, in my own juvenile way. Did I see myself marrying any of them one day? Honestly, no. I did hope though because what's the point of dating if we were not to end up with them? But even with the one I had the longest and most serious relationship with I couldn't, for the life of me, picture myself being his wife. Here's my opinion and unsolicited advice to all singles: 🔔 if you can't see yourself marrying the person, put an end to it as early as possible to spare yourselves from bigger heartache, and so you can set each other free. Life's short. Stop wasting your and the other person's time. I'm not saying you stop dating or entertaining suitors. It is a fun and integral part of growing and learning in life. Just because you're not sure if you're going to marry the person doesn't mean you seclude yourself from the world. Give it a chance, sure. Try to make it work, yes. But, if after discerning and reflecting and you think that he is not good for your well-being, it's time to walk away. Especially if abuse in any form (physical, emotional, psychological) is involved. 🔔 Love yourself first. I realized that the ultimate purpose of dating is indeed marrying the person, not just having fun or passing time. Author Jefferson Bethke said, "Dating with no intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy or take something that isn't yours." Neither of the result sounds appealing, right? Don't dishonor or shortchange yourself for your partner. Don't dumb yourself down for a man. Don't let another walk all over you especially if you're considering them to be your future partner. 🔔 Here's a tip I've learned at The Feast to know if the person is good for you: change 'love' with the person's name in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." If it doesn't sound right, it's time to think and decide if the relationship really is worth your time. As one of my guy friends told me (which I always held on to whenever other people would pressure me into dating): 🔔 It's okay to be picky, because you're talking about forever here, a lifetime with this person. It's okay to take your time in choosing. Take it from Cher: via Giphy Dating in the real world summary: messy, fun, life-changing, challenging but in the end rewarding. Because it made me wiser, made me realize my worth and led me to the road where I found my one true love. What does your dating history look like?
Lux Thinking Aloud I Have Found The One Whom My Soul Loves - My Wedding Day 6:38 PM I have found the one whom my soul loves. - Song of Solomon 3:4 It seems only yesterday when I was writing about why I was single.People I know and even I myself was a little surprised as to how fate made an unexpected turn.Today, I'm sharing the day God fulfilled His promise to me...The day I have found the one whom my soul loves...my wedding day!I Have Found the One Whom My Soul Loves The WaitingEven when I had unsuccessful past relationships, my faith in love was never tarnished. I knew it was going to be a long journey so I decided to enjoy it. I kept working on myself and I waited---sometimes in faith, sometimes in fear. There were days when I was blissfully reveling in my unattached and uncomplicated single life...And there were nights when my heart would long for a partner. I already had plans of living alone yet I felt a prodding in a different direction. Prayers and Discernment Interestingly, I met my husband when I was resolved that the single life was for me. It was when I fully embraced the thought of staying single forever when God was like, "Wait! I've got a better plan." Every night I would ask God if this man I met is the one because otherwise, I don't want to waste my time. It's funny that I used to ask for specific things I want for my future spouse, and when I met someone who checked all the boxes, I was in doubt. There are a lot of prayers from me and my friends involved.It's going to be a major life change so I need all the spiritual guidance I could get.My husband on the other hand had been praying for years for God to finally give him his wife before he turns a certain age.Single friends, remember these two important things while you wait:Write down your non-negotiables for a partner. Be as specific as you can be. Pray. A lot. Our Wedding Day It may seem rushed, but there were a lot of things involved from that fateful day we met to the day we exchanged I do's. It wasn't a perfect wedding, but it was beautiful. The planning and preparations brought me to a whole new level of stress---which unfortunately showed on my skin even on our wedding day. My husband's first words to me when we met at the altar were "You look beautiful, honey." 😊 So I guess it didn't matter how my complexion was. Not all things would go according to your plans. But I've realized that at the end of the day, it's not about that perfect Instagrammable wedding picture. It's not about how much the flowers cost or how gorgeous your wedding dress is (I'm blessed that mine was 😝 and it's unplanned how I found it). Your wedding is a celebration of your union with the person God gave you as a partner. It's about you starting your life with your best friend. It's the day you share your promise to the world. And that's all that really matters. Everything else is supplemental. Here's our wedding video: Dear readers, thank you for journeying with me from when I was single until now. I will still be blogging about being single because I love that stage of my life and I learned a lot from it. My hope is to continue to encourage everyone regardless of their relationship status. And my prayer is that if you haven't yet, may you also find the one whom your soul would love.
Love and Relationship How To Handle Real Life Dating Site Run-Ins 8:10 PM You’re out drinking with your friends when you see a cute guy across the bar. Not being a shy gal yourself, you start to approach him. But then… oh wait, hmm, he looks familiar. Did you go to school with him? Have you met him out before? Did one of your friends date him? Did you date him? As your mind runs through all of the possibilities, suddenly it hits you – you saw him on free dating site. This situation actually comes up a lot more than people realize, and not just out on the weekends. With online dating becoming the norm, it’s easy to spot people from the site everywhere you go – at the bar, work, the gym, the grocery store – even if your only interaction with them has been viewing their profiles. So what should you do? Say something? Run the other way? Pretend you haven’t seen them? It all depends on the situation and how much interaction you’ve actually had with him or her on the site. How to Handle Real Life Dating Site Run-Ins You’ve Checked Out Each Other’s Profiles This one isn’t really a big deal. Yes, if you recognize each other, it can be awkward, but honestly, it’s similar to recognizing someone from a friend’s Facebook pictures. Sure, you kind of know who the other person is, but you’ve never actually spoken – so ignoring his or her presence isn’t really offensive. Now, if it’s someone you end up seeing on a regular basis – say, you work together – it’s OK to acknowledge that you’ve seen each other on the site. You can even joke around about it. However, from personal experience, I’ll tell you that actually trying to date someone from work that you’ve seen on a dating site is just asking for awkward. One of You Has Emailed or Winked at the Other – With No Response I give you full permission to duck, hide, and/or leave the premises. If he or she has contacted you and you ignored it, then it’s fine to avoid the situation, since it’s a bit like you actually rejected his advances in person. If you winked at her and she never responded, then it’s even more acceptable to head in the other direction if you have a real-life run-in. No one wants to be reminded of his or her rejection – especially when it comes to online dating. You’ve Both Expressed Interest or Are Planning to Meet This one is up to you. If you would rather wait for the actual date, then it’s not a big deal to say nothing to the person. After all, if you’re out on the weekend, you do have the excuse that you were worried it wasn’t actually him or that you didn’t see her. But in this case, it’s not that strange to approach someone and meet ahead of time. It might even help you figure out if a date would be a waste of your time. If you recognize someone you see on a regular basis, then it actually might be a little awkward to not say something. If and when you do end up actually meeting, it will be really obvious that both of you were avoiding saying anything before. Plus, if you connected on a dating site, why haven’t you already connected in real life? If you like this blog post about life and love, please share the article using the social media buttons below or on the left. Thanks!
Listicle What To Expect After Becoming Bankrupt 4:57 PM What To Expect After Becoming Bankrupt Bankruptcy is not for everyone. Here are five bankruptcy stats that may interest you:More than 1.5 million people are filing for bankruptcy every year.40% of those who filed for bankruptcy lost their jobs.Alabama is the state with the highest bankruptcy rate.52% of filers for bankruptcy are male.62% of personal bankruptcies in the United States were due to medical expensesIf you believe that filing for bankruptcy is the best option for you right now, you need the right people to guide you.If you have large debts you can’t seem to cope with and you’re thinking about bankruptcy, you can use Creditfix. You may also wish to get in touch with people like these chapter 11 bankruptcy lawyers in Harrisburg PA to get help from experienced legal practitioners who are more than happy to help you manage your large debt.These financial experts are ready to provide you with good advice before making any definite moves. What can you expect after going bankrupt? What to Expect After Becoming Bankrupt Why do people file for bankruptcy?Why do some people go bankrupt?People can become bankrupt for several reasons.They experience a decrease in their income and an increase in their debts and bills.They may have been retrenched from their jobs.They may overspend and their credit card bills skyrocket.Some are dealing with a divorce or the death of the breadwinner in the family.Or spent most of their savings on medical bills.You can apply for bankruptcy yourself or your creditors may force you. If you owe one creditor over £5,000 you can apply for your bankruptcy. In reality, bankruptcy is an absolute last resort and it’s only advisable for borrowers with unsecured debts of £20,000 and over. If you owe less than £20,000 then you may be better with solutions like individual voluntary arrangements (IVAs) or debt relief orders (DROs). How does bankruptcy work? To declare yourself bankrupt, you must fill out a form at the GOV.uk website. You’ll need to have documents like payslips, bills, council tax letters, rent or mortgage agreements, and the details of all your debts. In England and Wales, it costs £680 to apply for bankruptcy (it’s £669 in Northern Ireland). While this might seem like a lot, you can pay it in installments (minimum of £5) if you pay online. Once your application is in, you can expect the adjudicator to decide in 28 days whether to accept it and issue a bankruptcy order or to reject it. If you’re successful at your bankruptcy application... If you get a bankruptcy order, you can expect all your bank accounts to be frozen immediately. Some or all of your non-essential assets could be sold to pay creditors and the remainder of the debt is written off. If you have enough disposable income, you might be asked to make some ongoing payments each month for up to three years. How long does bankruptcy last? How long can you be bankrupt?Expect bankruptcy to last for 12 months, during which time you’re undischarged bankrupt. Once the 12 months are up, your bankruptcy remains on file for five more years. Credit providers and banks can see this information and use it in their decision-making processes. Is it possible to get credit if you're bankrupt? While you’re filing for bankruptcy, don't expect to get a personal loan or a credit card.During your period of bankruptcy, you won’t be eligible for a bank account that has an overdraft facility or a checkbook. You can make do with a basic bank account so you can pay direct debits and standing orders and receive wages and benefits. What else is affected if you go bankrupt? It’s not just credit offerings like overdrafts and loans that can be affected if you go bankrupt. Expect other services and products can be too. Your insurance premiums may go up as your providers can see that you have been bankrupt recently. This is to cover what they see as an additional risk, as you pay for an annual policy in monthly installments. Alternatively, your insurer may offer you the chance to pay for your whole year upfront to keep down the cost. For large debts, you might sell your house to pay your debts and find a rental property. Finding a tenancy agreement after you go bankrupt can be difficult. Having a financially-stable relative or friend to act as a guarantor is a good idea.Have you ever had a difficult money situation? Did it ever lead to or did you consider filing for bankruptcy?Keep these things in mind so you'll know what to expect after becoming bankrupt.
How-To 5 Ways To Safely Bypass Internet Censorship 4:42 PM 64% of internet users worldwide worry about government censorship.In Mexico, 87% of the population is unhappy with censorship practices. Fortunately, internet users can bypass access restrictions when searching for news and other relevant information online. Government officials censor online information to promote their political agenda. But, there are tools internet users can use to access information and protect their privacy. Here are five tactics that can help you safely bypass internet censorship. 1. Avoid Censorship with a VPN The safest way to bypass internet censorship is to use a virtual private network (VPN). A VPN encrypts your data and protects your anonymity. Use a reliable, paid VPN service instead of a free one that could sell your information.If you spend a lot of time watching TV shows and movies online and have exhausted the options available in your country, you might want to look specifically for the best VPN for streaming movies.2. Use a Proxy ServerGovernments and private network administrators can restrict access to specific websites like YouTube, Facebook, and even Google. You can use a proxy server to work around this – although this method is not as safe as a VPN. A proxy server will disguise a blocked site from your internet service provider (ISP), allowing access to censored content. So, for example if you reside in America and can leverage an IP from this address, using America proxies can bypass geo-restrictions on platforms such as streaming services. Choosing a secure and reputable proxy service can ensure safety and privacy online. 3. Enter the IP Address Instead of the URL Sometimes, censors will bar a web address but not block the Internet Protocol (IP) address. For this, you can enter the IP address to access the website. To find an IP address on your Windows 10 PC or laptop, follow these steps:Run Windows Command Shell. You can find it by opening the start menu and right-clicking on the Windows logo.A single MS-DOS screen will open. Type "ping" in the URL. Your query should look like this: ping google.com The command prompt will then give you the IP address. That should look like this: 172.217.7.238 Enter the IP address into your browser to see if you can visit the website. Note: Websites are transitioning to a new protocol, so you may see a result like this: 2607:f8b0:4004:802::200e This protocol will not work with a browser. If you see this, do a WHOIS lookup instead of using a site. You'll find the correct format to paste into your browser on whois.domaintools.com. 4. Use an Anonymized Browser Autonomous browsers such as TOR are popular among privacy advocates. You should exercise caution when using them, however. TOR is easy to install but requires more expertise to set it up correctly. If you don't do it right, authorities can track your identity. Combine this with a VPN service, and you can access any website worldwide—despite censorship—and be nearly untraceable. 5. Switch to an Uncensored DNS ServerIn some countries, the government controls the DNS. Interestingly, some satellite internet providers are working on solutions that might help reduce dependence on these controlled DNS servers, offering a more open web experience.When this happens, officials can manipulate the registry that tells the region's computers how to resolve a domain name or URL in some countries. You can circumvent this by setting your device to use another DNS server.Google Public DNS, Quad9, and Cloudflare 1.1.1.1 can help you find a DNS that will resolve domain names correctly.Each site offers tutorials on how to use its DNS resource.Takeaway: How to Safely Bypass Internet Censorship The more governments censor the internet, the more the users push back. What's concerning is that private enterprises are joining governments in censoring online information.In the United States, the government has repealed net neutrality protections. Private enterprises can now limit traffic to their competitors. Businesses can also block content from a specific region. Some enterprises have chosen to block access to content from the Eblockedrather than comply with new internet privacy regulations.Using a few advanced tools can help you find ways to safely bypass internet censorship and exercise your right to information.All gifs from Giphy
Faith 7 Lessons I Learned From Ruth While Waiting For My Boaz 8:18 PM So here's the thing about Ruth and why she's a big deal---at least for single women. She's the perfect inspiration for those who are: feeling inadequate feeling flawed scrutinized and marginalized by the cruel society feeling that they've ran out of luck when it comes to finding "The One" tired of doing good and not seeing any good happen to them In short, Ruth is not your ideal woman. People looked down on her because: She was a Moabite. Moabites were descendants of Lot from an incestuous relationship with his oldest daughter. She's a woman, and women during her time were considered property whose value is only a little higher than cows in their society. She's a widow. Some people during her time thinks widows are cursed. Giphy Despite her personal obstacles and the labels people give her, she remained faithful to her mother-in-law Naomi and did what she could to help her. Brushing aside the whispers about her, she went out to glean the barley fields of her late husband's kin, Boaz. That's a quick summary so you may want to read her story to know more. But here's what I got from Ruth. 7 Lessons I Learned From Ruth While Waiting For My Boaz 1. Ruth’s priority was a life of service. Ruth didn’t wait for someone to redeem her after her husband died. She went out there and worked---for her and for her mother-in-law. The only family she has. She could have left her but she didn't. She served her. She knew her priorities. Don’t wait for other people—especially for men to validate your existence or rescue you from where you are. In the end, you're the only one who can save you. Don't be a damsel in distress. Be your own hero. 2. Loyalty and selflessness are always rewarded. She cared for Naomi and never left her side which eventually led her to her future husband Boaz. Even when you don't expect it, your goodness will be rewarded. That's how the universe works. 3. Be confident with who you are. Ruth never let rumors and gossip stop her from going out there and getting what she needed. She ignored the naysayers. She knew she was being judged because she didn’t fit in the society’s standards. She had more important things to think about; she had no time for petty things and petty people. If you know who you truly are, no amount of rumor will make you question your identity. Your reputation is in the hands of others. That's what the reputation is. You can't control that. The only thing you can control is your character. -Dr. Wayne Dyer 4. Be diligent, persevering, and determined. Ruth worked harder than others, which Boaz noticed. Your work ethics, virtues and hard work will speak for itself. Though some people don't appreciate your effort and your goodness, someone will---someone who matters. 5. Be a woman of character. Boaz told Ruth: “All my fellow townsmen know that you are a worthy woman.” What can be more flattering than that? You can’t control your reputation, because everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But remember: not everybody matters. You can’t control other people’s impression of you. Don’t even waste your time trying. However, you do have full and total control of your own character. Be someone your Boaz can be proud of. Be someone you yourself, your children and your children's children can be proud of. Carry yourself with dignity. 6. Stop chasing people. Don’t be desperate. Boaz praised Ruth’s loyalty saying, “You have not gone after a younger man, whether rich or poor.” Never run after a bus, train or man. When one leaves, another arrives. 7. Follow the advice of the wise. Ruth knew she could trust Naomi so she followed her advice. Which turned out to be an effective one because Boaz married her after that. Ruth may not be every guy's fantasy girl, but she’s every man’s ideal wife, judging by her character. People might have treated her like trash, but her character shined so brightly that a man of integrity like Boaz saw what a gem she was. Don’t just sit and wait around for your Boaz. Ruth never did. She lived a life of service and the Lord rewarded her. For God is faithful, and His timing is perfect. Be like Ruth while waiting for your Boaz. Work while you wait and wait in faith. ---- Lessons from The Feast's teachings on Women. Edited from the article I submitted on The Praying Woman.
Music My Own Thing - Red Red Lips 12:49 PM Whenever I need a boost in confidence, I put on some red lipstick. There's something about a woman's red red lips that says: I'm the Girl Boss and I'm doing my own thing. Red Red Lips must've had that in mind when they wrote their song My Own Thing. Because even for someone who's not 100% into rock music like me, I feel pumped up and ready to conquer the world every time I hear this song. Red Red Lips website My Own Thing by Red Red Lips This song is great to play while you're in the shower getting ready for the day, in your car with your friends for a road trip or alone on your way to work, during a workout or run, and anytime you feel doubtful, really. You do your own thing. What I like most is the opening beat. I have to be honest, I keep playing the first part before playing the song in full. Also the "ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh" in the background is a fun addition. I'm that type of person who sings not only the main lyrics but as well as the second voice. 😂 It's a catchy, feel-good kind of song. I make my own fate The lyrics is also a good reminder that although we make mistakes, we make our own fate. No one is to blame. We are in total control. So we should be ready for the consequences if we decide to do our own thing. It's a fun song that makes you want to groove and again, gives you that same feeling of boldness you feel when you're wearing that red lipstick. Ladies, you know what I mean. Check out more of Red Red Lips' hits on Spotify and Soundcloud. Also check their cool music video for My Own Thing on Youtube. "My Own Thing" from the self-titled debut album "RED RED LIPS". Written, arranged & produced by The Usual Suspects. As heard on TV Series "The Bold Type" Season 3 Promo. The Bold Type Premieres April 9th, 2019. If you like this blog post about life and love, please share the article using the social media buttons below or on the left. Thanks!
