Dating How To Master At-Home Couples Therapy 8:08 AM Couples of all walks of life can benefit from therapy. Relationship counseling gets a bad rep in popular culture. With many considering it to be the final alternative to a breakup or divorce. When in fact, the happiest and healthiest of couples can profit off of the advice given to them in these sessions. Unfortunately, couples therapy is costly. The average 1-hour session ranges from $150-500 after health insurance - if it’s even accepted. And, if you and your significant other need months of therapy, you might need to resort to a more accessible option. Luckily, there are hundreds of effective, low-cost substitutes available. And the best part of them all? You can practice them from the comfort of your home. How to Master At-Home Couples TherapyIf you and your partner are trying to nourish your relationship, the practices below may help you pave the way for a stronger, long-lasting bond. Here are some ways to master at-home couples therapy. 1. Harness the power of rituals Chances are you and your partner already have a ritual or two. Whether that is serving them coffee in the morning or watching an episode of your favorite series at dinnertime. These small gestures play a huge in keeping your relationship afloat, and enforcing them will only strengthen it. Next time you pour them a cup of coffee, compliment them. Or, next time you sit down to eat dinner, ask them about their day before pulling up Netflix. 2. Invest in your quality time Humans get bored easily, it’s just the way we are programmed. This, however, is a concerning factor when it comes to being in a committed relationship. Making sure you’re investing in your downtime is essential to the overall success of your partnership. Get off your phone an hour before bed, go to your favorite restaurant, dance around the living room, or have a picnic - the possibilities are endless! 3. Download Relish Asking for outside help is not a sign of defeat. Sometimes we’re not able to solve our problems on our own, and that’s ok! Like we mentioned before, counseling can be expensive, but luckily, there are affordable, mobile versions available. Relish is a personalized dating coach that provides 24/7 evidence-based assistance to get you and your partner on the path to success. We’re very fortunate to live in an age where we have access to excellent relationship-aid resources. Bettering your connection with your partner can be as easy as going out for a nice meal, to downloading a personalized coaching app. Working from home can be stressful, especially during this time. But making some small adjustments, such as the ones above, every day can make the biggest difference in your romantic life.
Love and Relationship 5 Reasons Why It's Good To Marry Your Best Friend 6:29 AM Marry your best friend.You may have heard that line many times before that it’s already lost its profundity. I used to not take that seriously. I thought it's impossible for all people to marry their best friend. And that it's unnecessary...Until I got married.Now, I couldn’t emphasize enough the importance of this truth. And I’m one of those annoying people who will remind the singles out there to marry your best friend!Before you protest...I'm not telling you to start forcing yourself to love your best friend. Or pressure your best mate to marry you.If you and your best friend are already falling for each other and there's a high chance of tying the knot soon, congratulations!If it's far from reality, don't fret.My husband and I didn't start our relationship as friends. We went from meeting to getting to know each other and dating. But I can say I my husband has become my best friend.Why is it good to marry your best friend?5 Reasons Why It's Good to Marry Your Best Friend1. Instant and constant support.Your best friend will cheer you on and support you. Even when no one else does. Even when you're not entirely confident with what you're pursuing.No matter how strong you are, it's good to have a sturdy shoulder to lean on from time to time.You can always count on your partner's emotional support. And that means a lot especially when you are second guessing yourself.Life is not easy. But knowing you have a partner you can count lightens the load.2. Round-the-clock conversation.Remember when you were in high school? You'd sleepover at your best friend’s house and talk all night. It feels like time flies when you’re together. And you never run out of topics.Marriage is like sleeping over with your best friend every night.When you couldn’t sleep because worry keeps you up, it’s good to have someone you can talk to. It eases the anxiety somehow.When you’re both wrinkled and grey, and your hip and joints ache of old age, what you'll have left is conversation.Find someone you'll be comfortable sharing even your deepest darkest fears with.Be with the person you can talk to about anything at anytime without worrying about being judged.3. Sacred silence.Spending time in silence together is equally important as having a meaningful conversation.When you’re weary and you need a day of doing nothing, it’s reassuring to have a best friend who can sit with you in comfortable silence.To know when to be quiet and enjoy that precious moment is vital. Especially when your partner is an introvert.Silence is a soothing and gratifying remedy for the toxicity of the world. 4. Worst critic.Your best friend will tell you what you NEED to know, not what you want to hear. Because your growth and success are as important to them as they are to you.There may be misunderstanding and fights along the way. That happens to the bestest of friends. Let it strengthen your relationship and not shatter it.TIP: Be careful with honesty. Don't use the truth as an excuse to be cruel.5. Unconditional love.Your best friend can give you unconditional love.I've heard this from one of the talks in The Catholic Marriage Summit: As humans, we have a deep desire to be known by another soul. And to be loved despite the knowing is a beautiful gift.There is something liberating and satisfying in the knowledge of being bound to a person who loves you despite of and not because of who you are. Beautiful isn't it?I'm thankful and blessed to marry someone who puts my needs before his. Who considers me in all things even with something as trivial as deciding what to eat. Who listens patiently and loves me for who I am flaws, pimples, moods and all. 😁So marry someone you like to be with, talk to, and someone who brings out the best in you. Marry your best friend or work towards becoming best friends with your spouse.Forever sounds like a long time. Might as well spend it with someone you love and like. Spend it with your best friend.
Marriage How To Change Name After Marriage In The Philippines 9:58 PM After the stress and bliss of wedding preps and the wedding day itself comes a new challenge for the new missus: how to change name after marriage. In the Philippines (and many other countries), it's not required to change your maiden name. I want to write about how I changed my last name after marriage because I know it could be confusing and overwhelming without guidance. It's really not. But since we're talking about government offices in the Philippines, expect that it could take a loooong time to accomplish everything. Let me share the process (as of April 2019) with commentaries, tips and rants here and there. Sorry can't help it. How to Change Name after Marriage in the Philippines First off, make sure you have a copy of your marriage certificate from PSA (Philippine Statistics Authority) or formerly known as NSO (National Statistics Office). Here's a tip (that I wish someone told be beforehand): Get at least 5-6 copies of your marriage certificate to avoid argument with the spouse. 😅 Some agencies will need to keep the original. The Mister begrudgingly went back to request two more copies but we later realized that it might not be enough to have only three. So after much stressful exchange of commentaries 😂 (welcome to married life), we agreed we should have bought 6. The stress comes from knowing how much people are lining up at the PSA every day, and how early you need to be there because...lines!Another tip: It's better to go to the PSA in the afternoon the day before a national holiday. People are usually on their way somewhere for a long weekend or extra day off. My husband at PSA I've never been a fan of going to government offices because of really bad traumatizing experiences in the past. But, we don't really have a choice, do we? I'd like to clarify that I'm currently based in Bacolod and though requirements listed here may be the same nationwide, the processes (like which window, building, etc.) may differ. For Philhealth, we went to their main office (map below). They're also in Robinson's. For PRC, SSS and PAG-IBIG, we went to Robinson's Bacolod 3/F. If you have the time, it's better to go to their main offices. The lines there may be shorter. I will post about change name in passport too once I'm done. PHILHEALTHRequirements: Marriage Certificate original and photocopy (In my case, she didn't bother checking the original and gave it back to me but kept the photocopy). Photocopy of valid government ID (with maiden name is fine). Printed and filled out PMRF (Philhealth Member Registration Form) that you can download from their website. Their site is often down so just check the link if it works. You can also ask in the office directly if you don't want to download. Or send me a message here and I will forward it to you. 1x1 ID picture with white background. This one's not listed on the website, but you need it for your new ID. Steps:Fill out necessary information that applies. For Purpose, tick off ✔ For Updating. Wait for your number to be called and submit all requirements for checking.Wait for your updated record and ID.Comments:That's it.Philhealth office is my favorite so far. We arrived a little past 7 am. I asked the guard for a number and I was #27. They let us in around 7:40 am (their office hours is 8 am to 5 pm) and started transactions right away. By around 8:15 am, my number was called and in less that a minute I was done! See? That's why it's my favorite. I didn't know that I could get an updated ID right then and there though so I had to go out for 1x1 rush ID picture nearby, and went back to request. But again, it took less than a minute. I think maybe 20 seconds. She just printed my name and pasted my picture. You have to have your ID laminated yourself to protect it from damage. There's a lamination service just outside their office. Philhealth office location: Click photo to view on Google Maps PRCRequirements: Filled out Petition Form from their website Photocopy AND original Marriage Certificate Photocopy of old PRC ID Statutory fee of Php 225 Metered documentary stamp 2 pcs passport size picture with white background and name tag (your married name) PRC postal envelope - this is not listed on the website but required in Bacolod which I think is because they will mail your requirements to Manila office.Steps with comments 1. Proceed to Window 1 with requirements 1-3 above. It kind of pissed me off that I made an effort to look for a lawyer to notarize the petition form because that's what it says on their website, only to be told I didn't have to. 😠 I told Miss Not-So-Pleasant at Window 1 that it's what the website says. I even showed the list I downloaded but Miss Window #1 just said, "No, we don't require that. We don't ask you to do that." Cute. 🙄 2. Proceed to the back of the room where you will have your passport size picture taken (they have blazers if you're not wearing top with collar). They only needed one photo but you'll get 6 copies. This is also where you will pay for the stamps. I paid Php 110 for 2 pieces documentary stamps (which the woman wrote on a piece of paper, not an official receipt), Php 120 for the pictures and Php 25 for the postal envelope. The pictures and envelopes were not written on the paper nor was I given an official receipt for these requirements but I didn't ask why anymore because welcome to the Philippines. 😅 3. Back to Window 1. She pasted the stamps and my picture on the form, wrote some things and gave me back my documents. 4. Pay for the statutory fee in Window 5 (Cashier). No sarcasm, she was nice and helpful. You need a number for this though. You can get from the Cashier after you're done with the requirements but my husband got me a number while I was processing. The cashier already called my number but this good guy in front of the line allowed me to go before him because I said I had to wait for my photo (I did for about 5 minutes because it's quite busy). Bless his heart. They'll give you an official receipt for the Statutory Fee. 5. Proceed to Window 6. Brace yourselves. Major rant is coming. Again, a little annoying because Mr. Window 6 (Brian) was pointing at the notary on my paper to his colleague and sniggering. He did this not only once but 3x because his colleague (Miss Nice and Helpful Cashier) didn't find it amusing that he was acting like a total jerk, pointing at my "mistake" in front of me for having my paper notarized. So I told him, "Your website says notarized Petition Form." 😈 To which he replied that it's only for blah blah blah process. I didn't catch what he said. But he meant it's for something else. It's time to update your website and specify which transaction needs a notarized petition form and which doesn't, PRC. We're professionals, we're not mind readers. And train your employees (or at least Sir Brian at Window 6) to act professionally next time. The P on your agency's name means Professional after all. 🙄 I went back to the woman who sold me the postal envelope for a refund because I said it's not required apparently. But then she said, they should've taken it and called the trooper Sir Brian. He forgot he needed to file it with my papers. He's such a delight! 🙄 Giphy Note: I was instructed to check online (within 2-8 months) if my record has been amended. After that, I have an option to apply for online transaction like I'm applying for renewal of license or just wait for when my present ID will expire. They will then give me an ID with "Duplicate" on it (if I'll apply for renewal right away), reflecting the same expiration date as I have on my current ID. Depending on the number of people applying on the day, transaction may be quick or slow. I think we were there for only about 40 mins.PRC Location:I went to PRC Robinson's Bacolod. The mall wasn't open yet but if you tell the guard your purpose, they'll let you in. SSSRequirements: Two (2) copies of Member Data Change Request Marriage Certificate (must show the original but only leave photocopy) Old SSS ID Photocopy of valid ID with married name Steps:Line up to have your forms checked and get a number. So if you'll ask me, it's better to download the form online so you can fall in line right away. Wait (for eternity 😅) for your number to be called and submit your requirements.Note: I was also told to put my husband under Dependent because apparently, that's automatic when you're married. I didn't know that. They will send your new SSS ID via mail within 30-60 days.Comments:This one's a pain. Although I'm thankful that Robinson's has Lingkod Pinoy Centers where you can find government offices in one place, the lines could be daunting. This took more than two hours of waiting. 🚩 Update: I never got my SSS ID. It was lost in the mail, the post office told me. They advised me to just get a new one. That was more 2 hours wasted including me going back. 🤬 PAGIBIGRequirements: Marriage Certificate (they didn't look for original, just photocopy) MCIF (Member's Change of Information Form) Valid government ID (it's on the list but they didn't ask for mine) Steps:Get a number.Wait for another eternity. 😭😅 Wait for your number to be called and submit all your documents. They will update your information immediately but you'll have to go back for the form with your updated married name. They'll tell you when. For me it's three days after. Tip: Get numbers for both SSS and PAGIBIG at the same time. They're just next to each other. PAGIBIG is a little faster than SSS but in total it still took maybe almost four (4) hours for both transactions to be finished. Giphy Changing name is no fun but it is necessary. It's part of making things legal. Remember to bring with you: black pen some snacks or candy to avoid getting hAngry water a fan (it was hot even with the mall's AC) a whole lot of patience and understanding for uncultured people like Brian at the PRC office 🙊 Hope this helps! If you have further questions, please leave a comment below. What's your experience in changing your name after marriage? Let me know!
Lux Thinking Aloud I Have Found The One Whom My Soul Loves - My Wedding Day 6:38 PM I have found the one whom my soul loves. - Song of Solomon 3:4 Remember when I was writing about why I was single a few years back? Or when I poured out my heart and shared the common worries and fears of a single woman? Boldly, I also declared here that at last, this single is ready to mingle. Were you shocked when I announced that I finally got engaged? Because people I know and well, even myself was a little surprised as to how fate made an unexpected turn. Today, I'm sharing the day God fulfilled His promise to me. The day I have found the one whom my soul loves---my wedding day! When I was still on my mending stage and was starting to accept sponsorship on my blog, most clients were asking me to write about...wedding; wedding dresses, wedding fashion, wedding favors. What do I write about? It's as if the universe was playing a joke on me. I was the most unqualified person to write about the topic. Fast forward to today, I am writing about my very own wedding day. I didn't see that coming. It's unreal. I Have Found The One Whom My Soul Loves Even when I had unsuccessful past relationships and at some point, was consumed by resentment, my faith in love was never tarnished. Sure I started doubting my worth. I had trust issues and thought everyone's trying to pull my leg. Waiting I knew it was going to be a long journey so I decided to just enjoy it. I kept working on myself and I did wait---sometimes in faith, sometimes in fear. There were days when I was blissfully reveling on my unattached and uncomplicated single life, and there were nights when my heart would long for a better half. In all those times, I would continue to hold on to God's promise of a good life for me. Although I was content and calm even with the idea that I may never get married, deep in my heart, I knew God has better plans. Despite planning for a life alone (which included buying a house that I'm selling as of this writing), I feel a prodding in a different direction. Discernment Interestingly, I met my husband when I was resolved that the single life was for me. It was when I have fully accepted that I can bloom wherever God plants me that I met someone who changed my mind. Perhaps you have heard this line: "Yes, I am single. And you have to be amazing to change that." I can't just jump into a relationship without being cautious. I am too tired and freaking too old for that, I thought. I am way too happy to be swayed to get out of my comfort zone. But this man seems genuine. Most of all, he follows Christ. Sure, he's not perfect but he's on the right track. Every night I would ask God if he's the one because otherwise, I don't have time for this anymore. 😂 It's funny that I used to ask for specific things I want for my future spouse, and when we met and I thought he fit those characters, my prayers changed to "But is it real or fake?" I had so much doubt due to trust issues. There's a lot of prayers from me and my friends involved. Because what can you do really but ask for spiritual guidance? Plus, a whole lot of reflection and analysis. Hey, I'm changing my life forever. I'm allowed to overthink and pray harder, right? My Wedding Day To cut the long story short, we got married. It may seem like rushed, but there were a lot of things involved from that fateful day we met to the day we said I do. It wasn't a perfect wedding, but it was beautiful. The planning and preparations brought me to a whole new level of stress which unfortunately showed on my skin even on our wedding day. But that's how it is. My husband's first words to me when we met at the altar were "You look beautiful, honey." 😊 So I guess it didn't matter how my complexion was. Not all things would go according to your plans (I'll be sharing reviews on suppliers soon to help other brides-to-be, and lessons I learned while planning and during the wedding). But I've realized that at the end of the day, it's not about that perfect Instagrammable wedding picture. It's not about how much the flowers cost or how gorgeous your wedding dress is (I'm blessed that mine was 😝 and it's unplanned how I found it. I will share that in a different post, too). Your wedding is a celebration of your union with the person God gave you as partner. Your wedding day is about you marrying your best friend. And that's all that really matters. Everything else are supplemental. Here's our wedding video from RocketLab Photography, our official wedding P/V: Thank you for journeying with me up until this time. I will not stop writing, but the topics on my blog would change a bit. I will still be blogging about being single because I love that stage of my life and I learned a lot from it. My hope is to continue to encourage everyone regardless of their relationship status. And my wish is that if you still haven't, may you also find the one whom your soul would love. If you like this blog post about life and love, please share the article using the social media buttons below. Thanks!
