8 Ways To Keep The Love Alive When You're Past The Romantic Stage

7:25 AM

8 Ways To Keep The Love Alive When You're Past The Romantic Stage
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors, and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.
-Anais Nin 

The honeymoon stage of a relationship is truly magical. The surprises, sweet gestures, and basking in each other's presence keep the happy hormones flowing. However, change happens as time goes by.

In many cases, the romance begins to fade, and the frequency of dates and surprises diminishes. Even passion can dwindle. 

So how do you keep the love alive when you're past the romantic stage? Here are eight ways to keep the music playing!

1. Have open and honest communication.

Maintaining strong and effective communication is crucial for keeping the love alive in a relationship, especially when you have moved past the romantic stage. Here are some tips to enhance communication and nurture your connection:

  • Create a Safe and Judgment-Free Space: Foster an environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or criticism. Instead, encourage open dialogue and active listening.
  • Practice Active Listening: When your partner is speaking, give them your full attention. Avoid interrupting or formulating a response while they are still talking. Instead, focus on understanding their perspective and emotions. Show empathy and validate their feelings.
  • Express Yourself Clearly and Honestly: Be transparent about your thoughts, needs, and desires. Clearly communicate your expectations and concerns. Avoid assuming your partner can read your mind or understand your unspoken needs. Instead, be open and direct in your communication.
  • Use "I" Statements: When discussing sensitive topics or expressing dissatisfaction, use "I" statements to convey your emotions and experiences. For example, say, "I feel hurt when..." instead of blaming or accusing with, "You always..." This helps avoid defensiveness and fosters a more productive conversation.
  • Practice Non-Verbal Communication: Communication is not limited to words alone. Pay attention to non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These can provide valuable insights into your partner's emotions and feelings.
  • Be Mindful of Timing: Choose the right time and place for meaningful discussions. For example, avoid having serious conversations when one or both of you are tired, stressed, or distracted. Instead, find a calm and neutral environment where you can focus on the exchange.
  • Seek Compromise and Find Solutions Together: Remember that effective communication involves finding common ground and working towards solutions that benefit both partners. Approach conflicts as opportunities for growth and understanding rather than battles to be won.
  • Practice Regular Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time to check in with each other about the state of the relationship, individual needs, and any potential issues that may have arisen. This can be done through regular conversations, weekly date nights, or even relationship counseling if needed.
  • Show Appreciation and Gratitude: Express gratitude for your partner's efforts, support, and love. Acknowledge and appreciate their contributions to the relationship. Small gestures of appreciation can go a long way in nurturing love and strengthening your bond.
  • Be Patient and Understanding: Recognize that maintaining effective communication takes effort and practice. Be patient with each other and understand that it may take time to fully understand and address each other's needs. Be willing to learn and grow together.
Remember that your partner is not a mind reader, even if you share a special connection. 

So be willing to keep your foundation strong by communicating your needs and making your partner feel they're heard and matter.

Couple having honest communication

2. Protect secrets.

The value of trust is paramount in a relationship. Consider it an honor if your partner confides in you, whether it be a childhood memory, a fear, or an aspiration. 

Their decision to open up and share a part of themselves is a testament to their trust in you. 

Make it your mission to protect them when they're most vulnerable. Never use their secrets as a weapon to hurt them.

These seemingly small gestures are of utmost importance and contribute significantly to the strength of your relationship even when romance is not at its peak.

Woman whispering to man hugging

3. Value commitments.

Reliability and dependability are critical components of a solid relationship. So, first, let your partner know they can count on you. Then, follow through on your word in everyday situations. 

If you've promised to take care of something, fulfill that commitment. 

Something as simple as calling them when you agreed, doing your part in the household chores religiously, or keeping your date nights sacred are seemingly insignificant actions. But they can bolster the bond between partners and demonstrate reliability.

Couple cooking in the kitchen

4. Say sorry and mean it.

Inevitably, there will be instances where you unintentionally hurt your partners with your words or actions. When this happens, it is crucial to apologize right away. 

Saying "sorry" is insufficient; you must genuinely feel remorse and avoid becoming defensive. 

More importantly, avoid committing the same mistake again. 

Continuing harmful behavior towards your partner after apologizing can erode trust and ultimately lead to the end of your relationship. 

It is essential to recognize the impact of your actions and take responsibility for them if you want to maintain a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

couple hugging in the winter

5. Forgive.

Forgiveness plays a pivotal role in maintaining a healthy relationship. If your partner has hurt you and sincerely apologizes, wholeheartedly forgive them. 

Holding grudges only creates further negativity and tension. 

Remember, we are all human; even the most compatible and compassionate individuals may have disagreements. 

Love keeps no record of wrongs. -1 Corinthians 13:1

couple hugging on the bed

6. Have some time apart.

Maintaining a balance between time spent together and time spent apart is crucial. While it's important to enjoy each other's company to keep the love alive, having separate interests and friendships is equally vital. 

Maintaining individual hobbies and social circles brings freshness and excitement to the relationship

Being together constantly can lead to feelings of suffocation. 

However, finding the right balance and carving out quality time for each other is essential. Here are some strategies to help you achieve this balance:

  • Prioritize and Schedule: Make spending quality time together a priority by scheduling dedicated time in your calendars. This could be date nights, weekend getaways, or simply setting aside uninterrupted time each day to connect and bond. Treat this time as sacred and non-negotiable.
  • Communicate and Coordinate: Openly communicate with your partner about your needs for alone time or pursuing personal interests. For example, discuss and coordinate your schedules to ensure you can engage in activities or hobbies you enjoy.
  • Respect Personal Boundaries: Understand and respect each other's need for personal space and alone time. Recognize that time apart can be beneficial for individual growth, self-reflection, and recharging. Support each other in pursuing solo activities or spending time with friends.
  • Engage in Shared Interests: Find activities you enjoy and can do together. This allows you to bond and have quality time while engaging in shared hobbies, such as cooking, walking, or watching a series together.
  • Encourage Independence: Encourage and support each other's individual interests and passions. Embrace the idea that maintaining a sense of self is important for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Pursue activities or hobbies independently that bring you joy and fulfillment.
  • Establish Rituals or Routines: Create rituals or routines that allow you to connect and spend time together consistently. This could be a weekly date night, a morning coffee ritual, or a shared activity before bedtime. These rituals provide a sense of stability and togetherness.
  • Embrace Quality Over Quantity: It's not just about the amount of time you spend together but the quality of that time. Make the most of your time by being fully present, engaged, and attentive to each other. Focus on building meaningful connections and creating shared memories.
  • Foster Trust and Independence: Building a solid foundation of trust in your relationship allows both partners to feel secure and comfortable when spending time apart. Trust that your partner values the relationship and respects the boundaries you establish for personal time.
  • Regularly Reassess and Adjust: Periodically evaluate how you balance time together and apart. Check-in with each other to ensure that both of you feel satisfied and fulfilled. Adjust your routines and schedules as needed to maintain a healthy balance.

Girl friends laughing

7. Appreciate each other.

We all seek approval and reassurance from those we love. However, appreciating each other is crucial in keeping the love alive, especially as you move past the romantic stage of a relationship. Here are some ways to cultivate appreciation:

  • Be grateful: Take the time to express gratitude for your partner and what they do for you. Let them know how much you appreciate their efforts, support, and presence in your life. A simple "thank you" can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and loved.
  • Focus on Strengths and Qualities: Acknowledge and appreciate your partner's strengths, talents, and unique qualities. Let them know what you admire about them and why you feel lucky to have them in your life. Celebrate their achievements and personal growth.
  • Notice the Little Things: Pay attention to the small gestures and acts of kindness your partner does for you or others. It could be making you a cup of coffee in the morning, leaving a sweet note, or helping with household chores. Express your appreciation for these little things that often go unnoticed but contribute to the strength of your relationship.
  • Show Affection and Physical Touch: Physical touch is vital for expressing appreciation and love. Show affection through hugs, kisses, cuddling, and holding hands. Physical contact can create a sense of closeness and reinforce your emotional connection. In addition, it will keep things spicy and exciting, igniting the embers of love even when you're past the romantic stage.
  • Quality Time and Presence: Make an effort to spend quality time together without distractions. Put away phones, turn off the TV, and truly engage with each other. Be fully present, actively listen, and participate in activities you enjoy. This undivided attention demonstrates that you value and cherish your time together.
  • Surprise and Delight: Plan surprises or small acts of kindness to show your partner that you are thinking of them. It could be bringing home their favorite treat, planning a surprise date night, or leaving little love notes for them to find. These unexpected gestures help keep the romance and excitement alive.
  • Compliment and Encourage: Offer genuine compliments and encouragement to uplift your partner. Acknowledge their efforts, achievements, and personal growth. Let them know you believe in their abilities and support their dreams and aspirations.
  • Support Each Other's Well-Being: Show appreciation by supporting your partner's physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Encourage healthy habits, listen to their concerns, and provide a safe space to express their thoughts and feelings. Be their cheerleader and source of comfort during challenging times.
  • Celebrate Milestones and Special Moments: Take the time to celebrate important milestones, anniversaries, and memorable moments in your relationship. Create meaningful traditions and rituals that allow you to reflect on your journey together and appreciate how far you've come.
  • Practice Active Appreciation: Make it a habit to express gratitude and appreciation regularly, not just on special occasions. Cultivate a mindset of recognizing and valuing your partner's and your relationship's positive aspects.

couple in the metro sitting and smiling

8. Rekindle the romance.

Rekindling romance is possible even when you have moved past the initial romantic stage of a relationship. Here are some ways to reignite the spark and bring back the romance:

  • Plan Surprise Dates or Getaways: Surprise your partner with a special date or weekend getaway. Plan activities or outings that you know they will enjoy. Breaking the routine and injecting new experiences into your relationship can create a sense of excitement and adventure.
  • Bring Back Romantic Gestures: Recall the romantic gestures you used to do early in the relationship and reintroduce them. For example, write love letters, leave sweet notes, or send romantic text messages throughout the day. Small gestures can make a significant impact in rekindling the romance.
  • Create a Romantic Atmosphere: Set the mood for romance by creating a cozy and romantic atmosphere. Light candles, play soft music and prepare a special meal together. Transforming your space into a romantic haven can evoke intimacy and closeness.
  • Engage in Shared Activities: Rediscover shared interests and engage in activities you enjoy. It could be taking a dance class, cooking together, hiking, or engaging in a new hobby. Sharing experiences and creating new memories can reignite the connection between you.
  • Physical Intimacy and Affection: Prioritize physical intimacy and affection in your relationship. Kiss, cuddle, and hold hands. Make time for intimate moments and explore ways to enhance your physical connection. Physical touch can rekindle passion and desire.
  • Prioritize Quality Time: Set aside dedicated quality time for each other. Put away distractions such as phones or work and genuinely focus on each other. Engage in deep conversations, share your dreams and aspirations, and actively listen to your partner. This undivided attention strengthens the emotional bond.
  • Surprise Gifts or Gestures: Surprise your partner with thoughtful gifts or gestures that show you care. It could be their favorite book, a handwritten love poem, or planning a surprise outing. These unexpected acts of love can reignite feelings of excitement and appreciation.
  • Explore New Experiences Together: Step outside your comfort zone and try new things together. Take up a new hobby, adventure, or explore a new city. The shared excitement and exploration can reignite the sense of discovery and bring back the thrill of being together.
Rekindling romance takes effort from both sides. However, with time and dedication, you can reignite the flame and bring back the romance in your lives.

couple riding a carousel laughing

Keep the Love Alive

Both partners seek and require validation, which can be achieved through trust and reciprocity. It's essential to recognize that this is a natural progression, as all couples experience these phases.

A solid and lasting relationship is tested through various ups and downs. The pillars of respect, trust, commitment, and love are tested. 

Remember that romance evolves beyond candlelit dinners and boxes of chocolates and transforms into a deep sense of respect and understanding for one another.

Work towards maintaining excitement and freshness in your relationship by keeping the love alive even when you're past the romantic stage.

How do you keep the flame of love burning brightly in your relationship?

Wait! I've got more stories for you...


Trouble posting your comment in the box below? Please comment here instead.

  1. Fab post - its true we do need to value each other in relationships xx #candidcuddles

  2. This list really resonated with me, I think saying sorry and being able to forgive are probably the most important but they're all great suggestions

  3. such a charming post and blog , really love it

  4. Agreed, but the fast track of life and life in the fast line, sometimes we tend to forget.

  5. It's so easy to just one another for granted, a happy relationship takes work, great post! #sharethejoy

  6. This is such a beautiful post Debra!! :)

  7. Really good post, and such an interesting point of view in terms of keeping the flames lit in a long term relationship :)

  8. These is some great advice! I truly believe that we should follow these tips from the very beginning, every day. It's a work in progress. Thanks for sharing. :-)

  9. Excellent advice here. It does take work, but it's well worth the work.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  10. I was just having this conversation with a coworker, and your post is to timely and full of practical wisdom! In all of it, I see the need to be intentional and diligent. I would so love you to share this on my Fresh Market Friday Link-up. Your words are such an encouragement, and you could be a featured Fresh Find!

  11. Lux, I love this piece from Debra. It really is the little stuff that can make and break a relationship. We all need a reminder sometimes. Thank you for sharing with #ShareTheJoyLinky!

  12. Wonderful ways, mutual appreciation is essential !!

  13. Every stage is romantic!

  14. those are the big ones and not always easy to do but I'd agree they work #sharethejoy

  15. Great tips, of course always is necessary rekindle romantic spirit

    Melange-Boutique Blog || Instgram

  16. All good tips to keep love on the up and up indeed

  17. Thank you so much for the amazing info.

  18. Hi Debra & Lux!

    These are excellent guidelines for keeping love alive in a relationship after the romantic stage has passed. The best part of my relationship with Mrs. Shady is our friendship and our deep rapport. We actually felt it the first time we met and it lingers to this day. We love to "pal around" with each other, keep each other company on shipping trips and while running errands. We also allow time apart to explore our own hobbies and interests. We communicate honestly, argue/fight fairly, make up quickly and forgive. We keep a sense of humor and laugh a lot.

    Thank you both for this great advice!

  19. love and relationship is so fragile in these android age

  20. This is such a true guest post. I don't think there is anything that matters more than these vital things when it comes to being able to keep love alive. Making sure you remember the importance of love and valuing each other is what is most important.

  21. What a touching post. The 8 tips are right on. Appreciating & saying you are sorry are two really important ones. Love the quote! Love definitely requires upkeep :) Thanks so much for sharing with #candidcuddles xx

  22. Open and honest communication seems to be a great way of keeping any relationship - friend, family or otherwise - in tact, it's key to healthy relationships. Great points! x

  23. such a great post, thanks for those tips! ♥


  24. I actually cannot relate in any of these but I'm hoping that soon, love finds me too. :)

    SHAIRA // New Post

  25. As one who's been married 35 years this month (a miracle, I know) these are great suggestions! (Visiting from #RaRaLinkup)

  26. Excellent advice. Beyond excellent advice. Chances are if there's trouble in the relationship, it's because of one of these things.

  27. Take it from an old guy ... you're right on! Excellent post!

  28. just discover this site from somewhere. great sharing story & experiences. i will recommend this site to my friends out there.

  29. All good ideas! A good relationship is worth a little extra effort.

  30. Lots of good advice here! I especially like this piece: "Say Sorry & Mean It." If we all did that, our relationships would be better.

  31. I am so loving these tips, especially the forgiving tip. I don't think people know how important it is to forgive. Beautiful post.

    Kia / KTS

  32. So true. Many tend to take the other partner for granted.

  33. I love romantic stage, grest tips

  34. nice tips/ ill keep these in mind :D


  35. I loved this. All these suggestions are realistic and

  36. Very nice suggestions, thanks ~ It is a never ending work, smiles ~

  37. Love your post!
    Have a nice week-end!
    Gil Zetbase

  38. Great tips! Some people don't realize that a relationship takes a lot of work, a lot of understanding, and a lot of vulnerability. Your "love" should know no boundaries! I completely agree with all your points. Thank you for sharing!

  39. What a great post with 8 great tips! These are so easily forgotten as you get comfortable with someone. Thanks so much for the reminder and for linking with Waiting On...Wednesday!

  40. Great advice! The best analogy I ever heard was that a healthy marriage is like a healthy body. You have to work at it every day to keep it healthy.

  41. Great advice! We do have to take time to nurture it daily!

  42. What a great post. Caring for our marriages is important. And I have a little secret. That empty nest we all dread? The romance comes back!

  43. Great post and wonderful words of wisdom.

  44. I definitely agree about time together & apart. So important to cultivate other friends & hobbies!

  45. Great advice! Balance is definitely important (time together and apart). It is also important to do your best not to take each other for granted and to make sure the other person knows you value them. :)