Single Life This Single Is Ready To Mingle 10:30 PM Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time. -Maya Angelou This single is ready to mingle. That didn't sound fabulous, did it? I felt douchey and juvenile saying that. But before you judge me, know my story: I have been single for a long time now. It was a choice I deliberately made. I allowed myself to feel ALL the emotions that bitter ending brought. Grief, disappointment, frustration, pain of betrayal, confusion, unforgiveness, grudge, angst, wrath, denial, depression, and what-have-yous were my constant companions. You see, I believe that all people were born good. So everyone for me deserves a chance. It's disappointing and frustrating to be yet again proven wrong. What's left to believe in? I closed my door to everyone who tried to woo me. I thought I would be unfair to them. I wanted to heal myself completely first. All throughout that roller coaster of emotions, I was battling to forgive. Difficult is an understatement. Imagine feeling vindictive while telling yourself, "I want to forgive. This is not me; angry, bitter, unforgiving. I want to be me again; happy, optimistic, hopeful. So today, I decide to forgive," at the same time? It got kind of bipolar-ish for a while there. My emotions was the tale of the two wolves for some time. But it was so difficult because as much as I wanted to feed the good wolf, the evil wolf was quicker and stronger. Most of the time, I lost the battle and succumbed to the evil one. I allowed it to consume me. It was becoming a cycle. But the stubborn kid in me won't allow one heartbreak to destroy my entire life. That was not who I was born to be. I deserve more than that. It got easier through time. Or maybe I just got stronger. Either way, I learned to love myself in the truest sense. I allowed myself to be happy again. I helped myself. Because let's face it. No matter how many books you read, no matter how wise the advice you receive from people, if you won't help yourself, no one else would. So I smartened up. I shifted the energy and attention I spent unleashing anger into fulfilling activities. I tried new things that I never thought I would dare do. I spent more time with the people who value and appreciate me, drinking up all the love they offer to fill up my emptying love tank. I allowed myself to be angry with God because I felt He did not protect me enough. Then again, it was not His decision in the first place. It was my recklessness which I so shamelessly blame on Him. I came to my senses and made my peace with Him. After all the blaming, the questioning and the hating, guess what He did? He didn't even make me take all the steps towards Him. He ran towards me when He saw me approaching. He embraced me. No questions, no reprimanding, no "I told you so". He accepted me back and loved me as if I have never sinned. He is a prodigal Father. I got so busy being happy again. I got preoccupied thinking, planning and acting to show my love to myself. I am terribly at peace with myself and with everything that's happening around me I forgot that I must share this love and this beautiful life with someone. Sure, there is no need for that if I am already okay with how my life is turning out. But somehow, I feel a nudge, a pull towards this path again. I feel like I have to continue the quest of finding the elusive one---the one. I think I've given myself more than enough room to breathe, to grow and to bounce back. I think my love tank is full enough that I won't be putting myself and the other person's life in misery by acting like a selfish, hungry, demanding toddler. I feel like I'm whole enough and ready to share my wholeness with another whole person. Because I believe that a happy relationship is made of two happy individuals, not by two miserable souls seeking for someone to make them happy. I don't know what surprises this year holds for me. I have plans but I know that God's plans will still prevail. I'm wise enough now to accept it whatever it will be because never had I proven that my plans are better than His. I'm putting everything on His caring hands as I step out the doors I once closed...single and ready to mingle. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Single Life 15 Real And Honest Moments I Wish I Was Not Single 1:54 AM “Why haven't I got a husband and children?" mused Greta Garbo to the Dutchess of Windsor, "I never met a man I could marry.” Here's a confession: there are moments I wish I was not single. Sure most days I revel in my glorious single life. But there are moments when I wish I was so NOT single. From really serious to downright trivial moments, sometimes I wish there's someone with me. 15 Real And Honest Moments I Wish I Was Not Single 1. When I have to carry my laundry bag to and from the laundry shop because it didn't reach the minimum kilo requirement to avail the free pick-up and delivery service. They're heavy! And I have a back problem. 2. When I'm really exhausted that even going to the spa to get a massage is tedious...but my body's aching I really want a massage and couldn't find a home service stat. 3. When I'm too lazy to run some errands. I wish I have a personal assistant. 4. When I buy too much that I need someone to carry my shopping bags. 5. When I went to the hardware and bought Venetian blinds for the first time. Clueless moment. 6. When I tried installing the Venetian blinds myself and everything, uhm...fell and disintegrated. I was so frustrated I almost cried. True story. 7. When I couldn't unscrew anything or loosen a tight cover. I have a strong and brave heart, but the skeletal muscle is another story. 8. When I'm sick, but have to get up and buy myself medicine and prepare me some nutritious meal so I can recover quick. 9. When I feel a little lousy because of PMS, and there's no one to reassure me I'm okay or at least someone I could unleash the hormonal monster inside with. Because like he has no choice but be a punching bag every month, but not hold a grudge against me because he knows it's just the hormones talking. Ladies of course knows what that means. 10. When my back really hurts but I need to go somewhere, and I don't want to leave the house without my essentials. Even when I try to remove a few things, the bag still feels heavy. Back problem is no petty thing. 11. When I have to travel alone and I feel paranoid and vulnerable. 12. When I want to watch a movie and all my friends are not available and I'm not in the mood to watch it alone. 13. When I need to share something too personal to share with friends or family. Or petty things even friends and family will find too trivial. I know a significant other wouldn't mind. 14. When I need some minor repair around the house that I am clueless with. Google has become a consistent boyfriend for the past few years. Only that he does the dictating while I do the doing. That is the exact opposite with a real life boyfriend. 15. When I'm being a scaredy-cat and it's too inconvenient or too late to call someone to sleep over or at least keep me company. 15 trivial yet valid and simple real life first hand experiences when I couldn't stop wishing I have someone at the moment. At those moments. If married couples have their "I wish I was single" moments, singles have their "I wish I have someone with" moments too. I am in a state where I can look you in the eye and tell you honestly and sincerely that I am absolutely genuinely happy being single. In fact, I'm getting too comfortable it's a little alarming. Human as I am though, I still have moments when I wish to fill the emptiness in me. Normal emotional single and hormonal moments though, not despairing desperate and suicidal ones. Thank God. These moments make me realize a few things: That PMS really sucks. That the desire to have my own family and raise champion kids is still very much alive in me. That I am still normal! That I need people in my life. That every human indeed has an emptiness in their hearts that no amount of earthly treasure can satisfy. That the cliche, 'all we need is love' is true. That I can't live without God. You know what? That moment passes, and I'm okay again. Back to my normal happy single and comfortable life. Like nothing happened. Christ indeed is enough for me. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Dating 5 Common Worries Of A Single Woman & What To Do About Them 2:35 AM 5 Common Worries Of A Single Woman & What To Do About Them Is being single worth losing sleep over? It’s 2 AM. The world is quiet and sleeping. But here you are. Lying awake in bed wondering if you’d ever find The One. You wish you could fast forward and skip to the good part.But you can’t.You’re single AF. Uncertainties start to overwhelm you. Self-doubt begins to dampen your spirit.The future looks scary...mainly because you feel alone.You try to shake off that negative feeling and ask, “How do I stop worrying about being single?”Don’t fret. For every anxiety, there is a remedy.What do single women worry about the most?Here are five common worries of a single woman and what to do about them. Worry #1: All my friends are getting married or pregnant!When you see your peers celebrating milestones and feel like you’re stuck, it’s easy to feel insecure.You start questioning what’s next for you.When am I going to meet my spouse? Will I ever be able to start my own family?You don’t want to feel left behind.People will be pressuring you to settle down.Some of them are well-meaning. But it does feel intrusive and disrespectful sometimes.So what to do when you start to worry about your friends moving forward and ahead of you? Remedy:It pays to be patient. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time. How you spend your lifetime is at stake here, so don’t jump into hasty decisions and settle for just anyone.Don’t sabotage your future just because you’re lonely at present.Strip away envy.Be genuinely happy for your friends’ achievements and breakthroughs.Celebrate your victories too. You may not have found The One yet, but the freedom of being single is priceless. Seize every moment. Unlike you, your friends may enjoy their time with their new baby but cannot sleep as much as they want. You can go to bed and wake up at any time.You have everything in your hands to experience life as you please.No commitments. No hassles.Embrace your alone time.Because one day, when you least expect it, it will all be over.Gratitude is the best antidote for envy. Be thankful for what you have and for where you are. Remember when you used to pray for those things? And you have no idea how many people wish they could trade places with you. Giphy Worry #2: My biological clock is ticking! Age affects the fertility of men and women.Studies show that as women age, the chances of conceiving drop.Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have, and as they get older, the eggs get fewer.A woman’s fertility starts to reduce in her early 30s. By age 40, only 1 in 10 women will get pregnant per menstrual cycle. Remedy:Freeze your eggs.Believe in miracles.Consider adoption.If you really want to be a biological mother, your age may be another source of worry if you’re still single.Thanks to modern technology, though, there are ways to increase your chances of having a baby and a healthy one even when you’re 35 and up. Some women opt for other fertility options like IVF or donor eggs.If you can afford it, you can freeze your eggs until you’re ready to have a baby.Remember the stories of Sara and Elizabeth in the Bible? Some people don’t believe in miracles or God, but that’s their call. If God can make Sara a mother at the age of 90 and Elizabeth was 88 when he gave birth to John...Don’t you think you also have the chance to get pregnant even when you’re beyond the ideal age? Hopefully, not as old as these legendary women in the Bible, of course.Nothing’s impossible with a God who can turn water into wine and raise the dead.Believe that you are just as highly favored as the people in the Bible.Or maybe the child for you is already out there, from another family. Waiting for a parent who can give them a better life. GfycatWorry #3: When is Prince Charming going to rescue me? The problem here is all in the head.Maybe because Disney conditioned us to believe that Prince Charming is the only way to get us to the life we want.So when it takes too long for your knight in shining armor to come and get you, you wonder if he’ll arrive.Or if there’s something wrong with you because why wouldn’t anyone want to rescue a fair lady like yourself?Remedy:Get rid of your Cinderella complex. You’ll get disappointed if you depend on others to give you what you need. Waiting for The One will be easier if your love tank is full. Then, it will be an exciting adventure.Remember: You’re not a damsel in distress who needs saving. You’re capable enough to take care of yourself. Stop waiting for love, marriage, and Prince Charming to come along and rescue you, and start designing a life you don’t wish to be rescued from. - Mandy Hale Gfycat Worry #4: I’m not desirable enough. Am I not pretty?Am I too short? Or too tall?Am I not smart enough?Don’t I have the right personality?Am I not dating, girlfriend, or wife material?What is wrong with me? Remedy: Carry yourself with grace.Work on finding your self-worth.Believe that you are enough. Because you really are.Be careful how you talk to yourself because you listen (Lisa M Hayes).God doesn’t create rejects. Just because the glossy pages of beauty magazines tell you you’re not the standard of beauty doesn’t mean they’re right. Who are they to say? They’re just as imperfect as you are.Those women are loaded with heavy makeup and are Photoshopped.Remember that you are beautiful and worthy just the way you are.Nothing is more beautiful and irresistible than confidence. GiphyWorry #5: I’ll end up alone and miserable!Maybe you’ve met old single women who are grumpy and hateful.Maybe you’ve been watching too many movies where they portray women beyond their marrying age as desperate and hostile characters.Or maybe you’ve been putting your happiness in other people’s hands.That’s why you’re worried that you’ll never find joy if you don’t find a partner.Remedy:Choose to be happy! You are as happy and as lonely as you decide to be. Happiness cannot and will never be found in another person or from an outside source. Find the pros of being alone. Being alone is not tantamount to being miserable. You can be in a relationship and still be discontented and lonely. Two happy individuals make a happy relationship. If you’re unhappy in your own company, don’t expect others to be. Giphy Summary: Common Worries and Remedies for Single WomenThe next time worries about being single rear their ugly heads, you know what to do.Kick envy with gratitude.Believe you are favored.Design a life you don’t need rescuing from.Know your worth.Choose to be happy. Never ever compare your story with others, especially those in the movies. Your story is unique. Don’t insult your Maker. It’s not hard to be single. There are many perks to being alone.You’re free. You have a blank canvas.It’s actually exciting if you think about it.Knowing you have many options is like walking at a buffet table.Don’t listen to those making you feel like an outcast because you’re not in a relationship.You’re not!And they don’t hold your future. Stop overthinking and start believing.Stop betting against yourself and start being your own cheerleader.You’re exactly where you should be. But no, you won’t be stuck there forever. Unless you want to. Are you single? What worries you, and what do you do about them?
Dating 15 Signs You're Comfortable Being Single 2:14 AM It's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone. -Amy Sedaris This post was originally written for and posted on Thought Catalog. 15 Signs You're Comfortable Being Single 1. You’re okay staying in on a beautiful weekend. You don't call random people to hang out on a sunny Saturday. You'd raYou’dcatch up on your reading or watch your favorite re-runs. 2. You are sincerely happy about your friends' milestones, engagements, weddings, and new babies. 3. You don't get uncomfortable when you go out with other couples. 4. You can dine out, watch a movie or travel alone. 5. When someone asks about your relationship status, you answer honestly without batting an eye because you don't think it's embarrassing or lame to be alone in a couple-filled world. 6. Your calendar is always full: vacations, breakfast/lunch/dinner with old friends, movie dates with your siblings or friends, seminars, and other essential activities outside work/school.7. When people think something's wrong with you because you’re single, you conclude that there’s wrong with them. 8. You don't know how it is to be dating or in a relationship anymore, and it doesn't bother you one bit.How many times do you need to send them messages? Which decisions do you need to consult with them about? (And why?). 9. You ignore the sweet nothings you receive in your inbox or phone because you don’t have time for someone you know is not severe or is not showing potential for a partner. 10. You are genuinely happy with where you are right now, even when things aren't going your way.11. Your plans may involve settling down, but you're not pressured to do it any time soon. 12. You hate asking someone's permission to buy something or go somewhere. So you come, and you go as you please. 13. You enjoy your own company, so you don’t feel like missing out on something. 14. Your heart goes out to those who are afraid to be alone and wish they’ll see the light and embrace singleness rather than be in an unhappy relationship only because they want to feel secure. 15. You’re not bitter about your failed relationships anymore. You are actually grateful that it ended. If it didn’t, you wouldn't be this happy right now.How comfortable - and happy - are you with your status?Hero image
Single Life If You're Scared To Be Alone 4:00 AM If You're Scared To Be Alone If you're scared to be alone, you have every reason and every right to be. If you're scared to be alone, take time to listen to me; If you're scared to be alone, you're right, it's never easy. But, to be alone also means to set yourself free. If you're scared to be alone, I know what you're going through. I've been there myself, I was just as scared as you. But, I've learned to conquer it and I know that someday you will, too. If you're scared to be alone, just remember who you are. Remember why you're here and what has brought you this far. It's because you chose the road less traveled. It's because you've learned. It's because you now know your worth and now it's your turn. It's your turn to love yourself more than anyone or anything. It's your turn to give up, to stop enduring, to stop waiting. It's your time to enjoy, to really live and not just exist. It's your time to thrive---no one can argue or resist. If you're scared to be alone, let me assure you that you're almost there. You're on the right track, just hold on 'cause life can take you anywhere. If you're scared to be alone, hold my hand and we'll walk this unfamiliar and scary path together. It may be rocky, it may be winding, but this journey won't last forever. If you're scared to be alone, don't look around you, but look above. You'll never feel empty if you know you have a Father who fills you up with love. See also: Hello, Loneliness!
Dating Finding The Right Shoes And The Right Partner 1:44 AM Finding The Right Shoes And The Right Partner Finding love is like finding shoes. People go after the good-looking ones, but they end up choosing the one they feel comfortable with. -Unknown Finding the Right Shoes and the Right PartnerJournal entryOctober 13, 20108:21 PMScouting the stores to find the perfect pair of shoes is like searching the world for a life partner. Giphy You search far and wide, seeking with anticipation and a heart full of hope. You even try your luck online.You don't want to settle for the cute affordable pair though it's your perfect fit. Maybe because it hurts your toes. The materials used aren't comfortable and durable enough.It's not compatible.You realize you can't endure the pain in exchange for its cheap price. You won't let the perfect physical look deceive you. If it hurts, you let it go. No matter how good it looks. If it won't let you go places and enjoy your freedom, it has no place in your closet. In your life.If it's too expensive and comfy, you scrutinize every inch. Is it really worth it? What if it will leave you with nothing in the end? What if it just looks good, you grit your teeth and pay the price but later on find out it's not the perfect fit?You've been taken advantage of. So you search, and search, and continue searching for the right pair---or the right partner. You never get tired. You don't listen to those telling you to give up and just settle for what's there.Even though they mock your standards. Every day your belief that finding the one that suits you best is almost within reach. You continue to look for the one believing that you will find. You hold on to your vision. You realize that there is joy in waiting, and there is so much to learn in the process. You get to know yourself more; what you really want and what you will not compromise. So you carry on. The world is so big, and the choices seem endless. In your heart, you know you will find the one that's specially made for you. Maybe it's in the next corner waiting for you to claim it at the right time.You keep on keeping on. GiphyBecause you know in the end, finding the right shoes...and the right partner is worth the long quest.This post contains affiliate links so we'd get a commission if you purchase through the links at no additional cost to you.
Listicle 13 Reasons Why It's Cool To Be Single At 30 12:22 AM 13 Reasons Why It's Cool to be Single at 30But the thirties are a specially dangerous time for women. They have outlived the shyness and restraints of girlhood, and not attained to the caution and discretion of middle age. They are reckless, and consciously or unconsciously on the lookout for adventure. They see ahead of them the end of youth, and that quickens their pace. -Rose Macaulay People get depressed when they turn a year older, and they're still single because they feel they're doomed to be lonely. But, let me tell you---you're cool! I really do think so. Here are 13 reasons why:1. Financial freedom You earn your own money, and you can spend it anyway you want without having someone to answer to. No parents to interrogate you, no spouse or children yet to consider. 2. Own your time No curfew. No one to tell you what time you need to be home, or what time you should be waking up. You sleep whenever you wish. 3. You decide for yourself. You make your own decisions, no matter how big or trivial it may be. Your parents can give you advice and you may ask your friends' opinion, but it's still your call. 4. More comfortable You're more comfortable now in your own skin. No more "Ugh, I feel so awkward" trying to figure out what you want phase. You can change hairstyles and don't give a damn what people might say as long as you feel good about it. You can choose clothes that are comfortable (and stylish) to wear, not the clothes your parents chose for you or what your peers are wearing. You're more confident now with who you are. 5. Boldness You can speak your mind, and you're not scared to be misjudged. You no longer worry about what people might think about your opinions or if they will take it against you. 6. You've had enough You don’t put up with other people’s crap anymore. If it doesn’t make you happyearn more moneygrowyou can simply leave it. Your time is more valuable to spend on meaningless things or people who don’t nourish you. 7. Free to "adult" The freedom to watch adult films, go to places exclusive for adults and not faking your age, feeling guilty or mortified about it. 8. You know better.You met almost all kinds of people. You’ve heard a lot of crazy crap. You’ve been through hell and back that you feel as though you can take anything life will throw at you.You are learned and enlightened. You may not have figured everything yet (who does anyway?) but wiser than you were back when you were at your 20’s. 9. Richer You’re definitely richer now than you were before. Wealthier in terms of money (that is if you have saved and invested well enough years before), healthier (if you’ve been taking care of your body) and wealthier in experience and friends. 10. Smarter You understand and appreciate the essence of compounding interest. You used to hear Greek whenever you come across that word and when someone tries to explain it to you. Now, you feel a natural connection with that phrase, and you know that it’s a friend not a foe.You may make the wrong choices from time to time but you're (hopefully) making better decisions than you used to. 11. 2nd chances It’s never too late to be what you want to be because now you have the resources and the time in the world to pursue your long overdue dream. You are your own priority now. 12. Choosing your own battle You know which battles to pick; which ones you need to continue fighting, surrender or ignore. 13. Paint anything! You have a blank canvass of life. Though you’re in your mid-life now, you still can have a brand new start. 30 and still single? Hey, you're cool! Shared on Thought CatalogGifs from Giphy
Books The Widower And I 12:54 PM The Widower And I It´s rare for someone to say something to you just a few words really and actually make you see yourself from a completely different vantage point. -How To Talk To A Widower This post contains affiliate links so we'd get a commission if you purchase through the links at no additional cost to you. The Widower And I This 22nd day of the The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge: "What fictional character in a movie, TV show, or book do you identify with and why?" got me stuck for 4 days! It was so hard to pick one character that I could identify with. Actually, I knew who to write about the first time I saw the 22nd challenge---Doug in How To Talk To A Widower. I just had some hesitations. Doug is a guy and he is a widower! I'm a single woman in my 20s. If you haven't read How To Talk To A Widower yet, please PLEASE do!Especially if you like unpretentious characters like Holden Caulfield in The Catcher In The Rye. Doug was devastated when his wife Hailey died. He tries to live and to stay normal but he couldn't escape the ruthlessness of being lonely at night. He hates it when people feel sorry for him. He knows he'll be okay soon, but that doesn't mean he'll stop feeling the pain. He doesn't hurry up, he lets time heal him, he lets Hailey's memories comfort him, he allows himself to feel his love for her even after she's gone. He trips, he fails, he struggles through the cruelty of life, but he doesn't stop living. He tries to be okay. He knows he'll be okay. He is so human. So real, so gritty...so me. You'll laugh at his boo boos, you'll grieve with him, you'll feel his love, you'll love his imperfections. Let me write here again why I love Doug: I know exactly what it means to act as normal as possible for the world to see. I know how hard it is to hold on to something you used to have but isn't there anymore. I know how awful it is to deal with something that happened so abruptly, so sudden, and how cruel it is that the world would not even give you enough time to let it sink in first before it goes on. I know how crazy it is to get pissed and then feel guilty about getting pissed and then get pissed about feeling guilty. I know how difficult it is to cry yourself to sleep, wake up without feeling the purpose of waking up anymore but getting up anyway and showing the world you're still okay. I just know how messed up Doug felt and I’m glad that he made me realize I’m not alone, even if he’s just a fictional character. Between the Widower and I, we all have a Doug in us.
Lux Thinking Aloud I'm A Once In A Lifetime Kind Of Woman 3:18 PM I'm a once-in-a-lifetime kind of woman. "I am not just a one-in-a-million kind of girl. I am rare. I am precious." Claim that, ladies! Don't buy the lies that boys say to get to your pants. You are worth the effort. You are worth the wait. You are valuable. You are worth more than eight cows (read the story's reference here). Don't dumb yourself down so you'll be more approachable. Don't shortchange yourself. Being choosy about the people you let into your life is okay. Protect your inner circle. Don't surround yourself with those who are not contributing to your well-being. When you finally free yourself from people who don't value you, you make more space for those who do. Don't let labels or stereotypes define you. Don't succumb to what society dictates. Be the Proverbs woman. Be like Ruth, who didn't sit around waiting for a man to rescue her situation. Raise your standards, and don't apologize for it. Be a once in a lifetime kind of woman so those who let you go thinking they can do better will realize that you're the one who got away. Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them. -Ziad K. Abdelnour