Dating 8 Ways To Keep The Love Alive When You're Past The Romantic Stage 7:25 AM Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors, and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing. -Anais Nin The honeymoon stage of a relationship is truly magical. The surprises, sweet gestures, and basking in each other's presence keep the happy hormones flowing. However, change happens as time goes by.In many cases, the romance begins to fade, and the frequency of dates and surprises diminishes. Even passion can dwindle. So how do you keep the love alive when you're past the romantic stage? Here are eight ways to keep the music playing! 1. Have open and honest communication.Maintaining strong and effective communication is crucial for keeping the love alive in a relationship, especially when you have moved past the romantic stage. Here are some tips to enhance communication and nurture your connection:Create a Safe and Judgment-Free Space: Foster an environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or criticism. Instead, encourage open dialogue and active listening.Practice Active Listening: When your partner is speaking, give them your full attention. Avoid interrupting or formulating a response while they are still talking. Instead, focus on understanding their perspective and emotions. Show empathy and validate their feelings.Express Yourself Clearly and Honestly: Be transparent about your thoughts, needs, and desires. Clearly communicate your expectations and concerns. Avoid assuming your partner can read your mind or understand your unspoken needs. Instead, be open and direct in your communication.Use "I" Statements: When discussing sensitive topics or expressing dissatisfaction, use "I" statements to convey your emotions and experiences. For example, say, "I feel hurt when..." instead of blaming or accusing with, "You always..." This helps avoid defensiveness and fosters a more productive conversation.Practice Non-Verbal Communication: Communication is not limited to words alone. Pay attention to non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These can provide valuable insights into your partner's emotions and feelings.Be Mindful of Timing: Choose the right time and place for meaningful discussions. For example, avoid having serious conversations when one or both of you are tired, stressed, or distracted. Instead, find a calm and neutral environment where you can focus on the exchange.Seek Compromise and Find Solutions Together: Remember that effective communication involves finding common ground and working towards solutions that benefit both partners. Approach conflicts as opportunities for growth and understanding rather than battles to be won.Practice Regular Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time to check in with each other about the state of the relationship, individual needs, and any potential issues that may have arisen. This can be done through regular conversations, weekly date nights, or even relationship counseling if needed.Show Appreciation and Gratitude: Express gratitude for your partner's efforts, support, and love. Acknowledge and appreciate their contributions to the relationship. Small gestures of appreciation can go a long way in nurturing love and strengthening your bond.Be Patient and Understanding: Recognize that maintaining effective communication takes effort and practice. Be patient with each other and understand that it may take time to fully understand and address each other's needs. Be willing to learn and grow together.Remember that your partner is not a mind reader, even if you share a special connection. So be willing to keep your foundation strong by communicating your needs and making your partner feel they're heard and matter. 2. Protect secrets.The value of trust is paramount in a relationship. Consider it an honor if your partner confides in you, whether it be a childhood memory, a fear, or an aspiration. Their decision to open up and share a part of themselves is a testament to their trust in you. Make it your mission to protect them when they're most vulnerable. Never use their secrets as a weapon to hurt them.These seemingly small gestures are of utmost importance and contribute significantly to the strength of your relationship even when romance is not at its peak. 3. Value commitments.Reliability and dependability are critical components of a solid relationship. So, first, let your partner know they can count on you. Then, follow through on your word in everyday situations. If you've promised to take care of something, fulfill that commitment. Something as simple as calling them when you agreed, doing your part in the household chores religiously, or keeping your date nights sacred are seemingly insignificant actions. But they can bolster the bond between partners and demonstrate reliability.4. Say sorry and mean it.Inevitably, there will be instances where you unintentionally hurt your partners with your words or actions. When this happens, it is crucial to apologize right away. Saying "sorry" is insufficient; you must genuinely feel remorse and avoid becoming defensive. More importantly, avoid committing the same mistake again. Continuing harmful behavior towards your partner after apologizing can erode trust and ultimately lead to the end of your relationship. It is essential to recognize the impact of your actions and take responsibility for them if you want to maintain a healthy and fulfilling partnership.5. Forgive.Forgiveness plays a pivotal role in maintaining a healthy relationship. If your partner has hurt you and sincerely apologizes, wholeheartedly forgive them. Holding grudges only creates further negativity and tension. Remember, we are all human; even the most compatible and compassionate individuals may have disagreements. Love keeps no record of wrongs. -1 Corinthians 13:16. Have some time apart.Maintaining a balance between time spent together and time spent apart is crucial. While it's important to enjoy each other's company to keep the love alive, having separate interests and friendships is equally vital. Maintaining individual hobbies and social circles brings freshness and excitement to the relationship. Being together constantly can lead to feelings of suffocation. However, finding the right balance and carving out quality time for each other is essential. Here are some strategies to help you achieve this balance:Prioritize and Schedule: Make spending quality time together a priority by scheduling dedicated time in your calendars. This could be date nights, weekend getaways, or simply setting aside uninterrupted time each day to connect and bond. Treat this time as sacred and non-negotiable.Communicate and Coordinate: Openly communicate with your partner about your needs for alone time or pursuing personal interests. For example, discuss and coordinate your schedules to ensure you can engage in activities or hobbies you enjoy.Respect Personal Boundaries: Understand and respect each other's need for personal space and alone time. Recognize that time apart can be beneficial for individual growth, self-reflection, and recharging. Support each other in pursuing solo activities or spending time with friends.Engage in Shared Interests: Find activities you enjoy and can do together. This allows you to bond and have quality time while engaging in shared hobbies, such as cooking, walking, or watching a series together.Encourage Independence: Encourage and support each other's individual interests and passions. Embrace the idea that maintaining a sense of self is important for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Pursue activities or hobbies independently that bring you joy and fulfillment.Establish Rituals or Routines: Create rituals or routines that allow you to connect and spend time together consistently. This could be a weekly date night, a morning coffee ritual, or a shared activity before bedtime. These rituals provide a sense of stability and togetherness.Embrace Quality Over Quantity: It's not just about the amount of time you spend together but the quality of that time. Make the most of your time by being fully present, engaged, and attentive to each other. Focus on building meaningful connections and creating shared memories.Foster Trust and Independence: Building a solid foundation of trust in your relationship allows both partners to feel secure and comfortable when spending time apart. Trust that your partner values the relationship and respects the boundaries you establish for personal time.Regularly Reassess and Adjust: Periodically evaluate how you balance time together and apart. Check-in with each other to ensure that both of you feel satisfied and fulfilled. Adjust your routines and schedules as needed to maintain a healthy balance.7. Appreciate each other.We all seek approval and reassurance from those we love. However, appreciating each other is crucial in keeping the love alive, especially as you move past the romantic stage of a relationship. Here are some ways to cultivate appreciation:Be grateful: Take the time to express gratitude for your partner and what they do for you. Let them know how much you appreciate their efforts, support, and presence in your life. A simple "thank you" can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and loved.Focus on Strengths and Qualities: Acknowledge and appreciate your partner's strengths, talents, and unique qualities. Let them know what you admire about them and why you feel lucky to have them in your life. Celebrate their achievements and personal growth.Notice the Little Things: Pay attention to the small gestures and acts of kindness your partner does for you or others. It could be making you a cup of coffee in the morning, leaving a sweet note, or helping with household chores. Express your appreciation for these little things that often go unnoticed but contribute to the strength of your relationship.Show Affection and Physical Touch: Physical touch is vital for expressing appreciation and love. Show affection through hugs, kisses, cuddling, and holding hands. Physical contact can create a sense of closeness and reinforce your emotional connection. In addition, it will keep things spicy and exciting, igniting the embers of love even when you're past the romantic stage.Quality Time and Presence: Make an effort to spend quality time together without distractions. Put away phones, turn off the TV, and truly engage with each other. Be fully present, actively listen, and participate in activities you enjoy. This undivided attention demonstrates that you value and cherish your time together.Surprise and Delight: Plan surprises or small acts of kindness to show your partner that you are thinking of them. It could be bringing home their favorite treat, planning a surprise date night, or leaving little love notes for them to find. These unexpected gestures help keep the romance and excitement alive.Compliment and Encourage: Offer genuine compliments and encouragement to uplift your partner. Acknowledge their efforts, achievements, and personal growth. Let them know you believe in their abilities and support their dreams and aspirations.Support Each Other's Well-Being: Show appreciation by supporting your partner's physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Encourage healthy habits, listen to their concerns, and provide a safe space to express their thoughts and feelings. Be their cheerleader and source of comfort during challenging times.Celebrate Milestones and Special Moments: Take the time to celebrate important milestones, anniversaries, and memorable moments in your relationship. Create meaningful traditions and rituals that allow you to reflect on your journey together and appreciate how far you've come.Practice Active Appreciation: Make it a habit to express gratitude and appreciation regularly, not just on special occasions. Cultivate a mindset of recognizing and valuing your partner's and your relationship's positive aspects.8. Rekindle the romance.Rekindling romance is possible even when you have moved past the initial romantic stage of a relationship. Here are some ways to reignite the spark and bring back the romance:Plan Surprise Dates or Getaways: Surprise your partner with a special date or weekend getaway. Plan activities or outings that you know they will enjoy. Breaking the routine and injecting new experiences into your relationship can create a sense of excitement and adventure.Bring Back Romantic Gestures: Recall the romantic gestures you used to do early in the relationship and reintroduce them. For example, write love letters, leave sweet notes, or send romantic text messages throughout the day. Small gestures can make a significant impact in rekindling the romance.Create a Romantic Atmosphere: Set the mood for romance by creating a cozy and romantic atmosphere. Light candles, play soft music and prepare a special meal together. Transforming your space into a romantic haven can evoke intimacy and closeness.Engage in Shared Activities: Rediscover shared interests and engage in activities you enjoy. It could be taking a dance class, cooking together, hiking, or engaging in a new hobby. Sharing experiences and creating new memories can reignite the connection between you.Physical Intimacy and Affection: Prioritize physical intimacy and affection in your relationship. Kiss, cuddle, and hold hands. Make time for intimate moments and explore ways to enhance your physical connection. Physical touch can rekindle passion and desire.Prioritize Quality Time: Set aside dedicated quality time for each other. Put away distractions such as phones or work and genuinely focus on each other. Engage in deep conversations, share your dreams and aspirations, and actively listen to your partner. This undivided attention strengthens the emotional bond.Surprise Gifts or Gestures: Surprise your partner with thoughtful gifts or gestures that show you care. It could be their favorite book, a handwritten love poem, or planning a surprise outing. These unexpected acts of love can reignite feelings of excitement and appreciation.Explore New Experiences Together: Step outside your comfort zone and try new things together. Take up a new hobby, adventure, or explore a new city. The shared excitement and exploration can reignite the sense of discovery and bring back the thrill of being together.Rekindling romance takes effort from both sides. However, with time and dedication, you can reignite the flame and bring back the romance in your lives.Keep the Love AliveBoth partners seek and require validation, which can be achieved through trust and reciprocity. It's essential to recognize that this is a natural progression, as all couples experience these phases.A solid and lasting relationship is tested through various ups and downs. The pillars of respect, trust, commitment, and love are tested. Remember that romance evolves beyond candlelit dinners and boxes of chocolates and transforms into a deep sense of respect and understanding for one another.Work towards maintaining excitement and freshness in your relationship by keeping the love alive even when you're past the romantic stage.How do you keep the flame of love burning brightly in your relationship?
Faith 25 Powerful Declarations To Shape Your Day & Change Your Life 6:07 AM Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day. -Jim Rohn Words are powerful. It's amazing how simple words spoken even to inanimate objects can make phenomenal changes. Here are 25 powerful declarations that will shape your day and ultimately change your life: 25 Powerful Declarations That Will Shape Your Day And Ultimately Change Your Life 1. I am capable and able. I am equipped. 2. Everything I need comes to me. 3. The universe connives to give me what I need. 4. I choose to forgive. 5. I choose to believe in miracles. 6. I choose to be part of the solution, not of the problem. So today I will stop complaining and start acting. 7. I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). 8. I am not here by accident. I am here for a purpose. I have a destiny. 9. I count. I matter. 10. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). 11. I can get out of this mess and make it right. 12. Today, I choose to be happy. 13. Today, I choose abundance. 14. Everything I touch prospers; my relationships, my investments, my projects, my businesses, my job. 15. The right circumstances and opportunities will come, the right people will walk into my life. 16. I am highly favored. 17. My investments will grow exponentially, so I can retire young and rich. 18. Today, I choose to be healthy. 19. Today, I choose to be kind to myself. 20. I love AND like myself. 21. Things may not go my way, but everything happens for a reason and for a greater purpose. 22. If it's not for me, it's for the best. 23. In all things God works for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). 24. I will never stop learning and growing. 25. It can only get better. Whatever you believe in and whatever you want to happen, let the universe know. Declare it. May these 25 powerful declarations shape your day and change your life.
Life Lessons 4 Ways To Silence Your Own Critic 3:13 AM Listening to the voice of discouragement makes us deaf to the Voice of Truth. Every day, we're bombarded with opinions. We can't control what others say, but we can control what we believe. We get to choose whose voice gets airtime in our minds. The kicker is that negativity can mask a powerful truth - you were designed for greatness.You have a purpose, and you absolutely CAN achieve it. So how do we silence our inner critic and turn up the volume on our destiny? 1. Know who you are. You're not a random blip on the universe's radar. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. This self-awareness is your shield against anyone trying to dim your light. You are a child of God, and God does not make mistakes. If you have self-awareness, no one can change your identity for you. 2. Tune out the noise. Not all feedback is created equal. Learn to separate constructive criticism from random negativity. People have different perspectives, and sometimes comments get twisted in the mix. You can't please everyone, and that's okay. Offense is a choice. 3. Don't be too harsh on yourself. We treat others with kindness, so why not ourselves? Mistakes happen. Forgive yourself, learn from them, and move on. Don't let the voice of guilt hold you hostage. One mess-up doesn't define you. 4. Check your inner compass.Take a quiet moment and listen to your heart. You have an innate sense of right and wrong. Don't ignore that feeling. Your body also whispers wisdom. Pay attention to its signals. Silence Your Own Critic: A JourneyQuieting your inner critic is a journey, not a destination. It takes practice to discern which voice to trust. Here's the key: The Voice of Truth never requires compromising your values or hurting yourself or others. It uplifts, inspires, and reminds you of your incredible potential.So silence the doubter within and crank up the volume on your inner truth. The world needs your greatness – shine on.Gifs from giphy
Faith God Is Not Fair 8:25 PM He makes His sun rise on the wicked and on the good, and makes the rain fall upon the upright and the wrongdoers. -Matthew 5:45 God is not fair. We say that God is a just Judge, but I also believe that He could be unfair. Why? God plays favorite. I know because I’m one of them. Instead of punishing me, He shows me mercy. When I run away from Him, instead of erasing my name on the palm of His hand, He runs after me. I could not escape His love. When I want Him to leave me alone, He patiently waits for my return. Because He knows no matter how long, I will always come back home to Him. He is a Lover who does not carry a grudge despite all the pain and the heartache I give Him. He does not keep a record of my wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5). I lost count of the times He showed me that I am highly favored. Now, how can you say He is just? When all I do is disappoint Him and do wrong and all He does is forgive me every time, love me lavishly and unconditionally. Care for me patiently. Provide for me generously. God is not fair. God loves everybody, but I’m His favorite. Tee hee. Linked to:
Lux Thinking Aloud First Blogging Award: Liebster Award 12:53 PM First blogging award: Liebster Award I got my first blogging award--- the Liebster Award. According to Gigi The Snooper, the blogger who was kind enough to nominate and award me with Liebster Award: Liebster comes from the German language, and it means "beloved". This award exists only on the internet, and is given to bloggers by other bloggers and it follows similar principles as a chain letter, in the sense that it should be passed forward to a certain number of people. Before I proceed with the rules to officially receive Liebster Award, I'd like to express my gratitude. Thank you for wasting a minute or two with me. For reading my thoughts, for allowing me to share my stories with you, and for being generous and respectful with the comments you leave. Thank you also to those who send me sweet messages thanking me for the encouragement they receive by just reading my posts. Special thanks to those who trust me enough to share their stories with me and even ask for my advice. I'm also in the stage of figuring out life so knowing you trust me enough to ask for my opinion is an honor. And to finally make it official, here are the things required to receive the Liebster Award: 1. Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog. My favorite online snooper Gigi The Snooper, thanks so much for considering me worthy of the Liebster award. I love snooping around your page. You post interesting facts I don't usually see on the web. I especially love the gory, creepy, crazy story of the countess who bathes in and drinks blood. Haha. Keep snooping around! 2. Display the award on your blog. Google images 3. Answer 11 questions about yourself, which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you. Why did you start blogging? Has it turned out to be what you expected? I started my blog for 2 reasons: (1) I think more and talk less. My thoughts are overflowing I have to write some down. (2) And I use it as a portfolio for online jobs. It turned out to be more than I expected. When I started receiving emails and comments about how much people appreciate what I write, and how it affected them or made them feel better, I realized that blogging is not just for my entertainment and profit anymore. It became my purpose. Now I write with the goal of informing, entertaining and inspiring others. Before I write, I consider those who will be reading; will it help them, enlighten them, make them feel good about themselves, or provoke their thoughts? Is this what God wants to tell them? I've got readers who are non believers and I also try to consider their views whenever I write. What's one piece of advice you'd give your younger self? Oh, I have a looot. I wrote them on 21 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger and Unsolicited Advice To The Struggling 20-Something. If I must pick one, it's to believe in myself and ignore the critics. If you could live one day over again, what day would it be? I couldn't choose a day, but if I were to choose a phase, it would be when my brother was just a toddler. I especially miss those times when I have to bathe him myself, when we share stories over Koko Krunch, when he would ask me to read him bedtime stories, when he would sit on my lap and we would watch his favorite cartoons together. What is the story behind your blog name? I'm planning to change my blog name soon. I created it when I was at a rather vulnerable stage so it sounds cheesy. Now that I'm back to my normal happy self, I'm thinking of a better name, something more specific. If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Fruits! I love Philippine mango so much I can eat it everyday. What’s your greatest fear? I fear for the safety of my loved ones. When was the last time you had a good belly laugh? Just a while ago. ;) What’s your favorite quote? All things work together for good to them who love the Lord.---Romans 8:28 What has been your biggest challenge? Taking the high road and being the better person. Some people are born to test your patience. If you were going to live on a deserted island, what three things could you not live without? Things: Clean water, books, comforter. If you could learn to do anything, what would it be? To forgive quickly like Jesus. 4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself. I'm an introvert. I believe I'm Italian in my past life judging by my liking for Italian food especially pizza and pasta. I'm a frustrated globe trotter. I tsunduko like all other bibliophiles. More than just a fan, I love Zac Efron. I'm a Potterhead and forever will be. I love organic products. I want to try scuba diving but I'm scared of the open water. I'm a perpetual dreamer. I'm a sucker for chick flicks. Pet peeves: People who can dish it out but can't take it. 5. Nominate 5 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have less than 1000 followers: The Beautiful Eagle Welcome To My Life Somewhere-In-Between Life Out Loud Chelsea Write 6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer. What drives you? What's your mantra? What is your belief or principle? What do you value the most in your life? Which TV series are/were you addicted with? The song that sums up your life. What's your greatest regret? Your favorite movie of all time. Your best childhood memory. Your dream vacation destination. If you can change one thing in the world, what will it be? 7. Rules to follow to officially accept the Liebster Award. Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. Answer 11 questions about yourself, which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you. Provide 11 random facts about yourself. Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!) Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer. There you go. Now, I'm a Liebster Award recipient. 2014 has been an enjoyable year, full of surpirses. This is one of them. My heart is bursting with gratitude. See also: Liebster Award Recipient---Again! Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Life Lessons Leave Your Baggage And Move On 12:17 AM If you want to move on, you need to learn to let go. -Bo Sanchez Originally written for and published on The Praying Woman Sins. Hurts. Problems. Past Mistakes. Criticisms. Limitations. Regrets. What is your baggage? Whatever it is, leave your baggage and move one. Leave Your Baggage And Move On Sins. Let go of sins. In our weakness, in our frailty we commit sin. We sometimes take the easy way out and compromise our values. After sinning, instead of repenting we choose to live in the shadow of our sins. Instead of facing the consequences, we let it define us. We sin and we feel like we're done. Like there's no more hope for us. Good news! Even the worst sinner can be has been forgiven. All we need is to accept the mercy from the Ultimate Forgiver, so we can forgive ourselves and move on. Let go of the baggage of sin and move one. Hurts. People will always, always hurt us no matter how much we try to live in peace with them. It's not about us, it's about them. Hurting people hurt people. People who are unkind to you have issues with themselves and not with you. You may have been abandoned by your parents. Your friend might have said something that hurt you in the past. Someone may have broken your heart. Yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, maybe a couple of years or a decade ago...it doesn't matter. You feel hurt and it's normal. It's normal because you care. It's normal because you're an emotional being. That abandonment, that betrayal, that pain hurt but it's not your end. It may feel that way, but it's NOT. Let go of the hurt. Leave your pain and move on. Problems. As long as you're alive, you will encounter problems. Problems may vary from minor ones---what to have for breakfast, to major ones---how to get out of your debts. Your problems will not be around forever. Behind every problem is a solution. Behind every trial is your triumph waiting. Leave your problems and move on. Past Mistakes. If you are alive today, it means you've made mistakes in the past. Nobody's perfect. Everybody fails. It is not the falling that will define you, but your getting up after the fall. Let go of your past mistakes and move on. Criticisms. Some people make it their life mission to scrutinize you, criticize you, and even shame you. Know this: if you've accepted your flaws, no one can use it against you. If you know your worth, no one can shortchange you or make you feel inadequate. How you see people is a reflection of how you see yourself. How you treat people is an extension of how you treat yourself. So when people only see the wrong in you, or treat you harshly all the time, take pity on them. They must be living a very hard life. They could be desperate for help. Again, it's not about you, it's about them. Let go of criticisms. They're just noise. Limitations. You may have been told by someone important to you that your dreams are too big for you, that you are unrealistic. Someone may have instilled in your mind that you are not capable. They're just as imperfect as you are. The only person who can limit you is yourself. Let go of limitations. Regrets. We have our could-have-been. We feel like we've missed something and regret our decisions at some point. We can choose to dwell in what we cannot change, or let go of the regret and make a brand new start. We can feel sorry for ourselves forever or make the mind-shift that everything happens for a reason. Behind all our baggage is shame. If we get rid of the shame, we get rid of the baggage and start to move one. We hang on to toxic people and stay in trashy relationships because we feel that's what we deserve. Because we're ashamed of ourselves, of our baggage. Bo Sanchez said, "You are not a garbage collector. Get rid of the garbage in your life." Gratitude defies gravity. When you feel pulled down by your past mistakes, turn it around and be grateful instead of who you are and what you have. You can't get on a plane unless you surrender your baggage first. You can't get on with life unless you let go of your emotional baggage. It's not easy, but you'll get there if you start shedding them now. Leave Your Baggage And Move On From Talk 2: Desperate of Women Gone Wild series at The Feast. Watch the video here. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Life Lessons Lessons Learned On My Way To Getting There 1:25 PM If you do not know where you come from, then you don’t know where you are, and if you don’t know where you are, you don’t know where you’re going. And if you need to know where you’re going, you’re probably going wrong. -Terry Pratchett Sometimes, it’s easy to feel like life is passing you by. One day you wake up and realize that most of your peers are now getting on with their adult lives, getting married, and having babies. And here you are...still drunk in love with your being single. It could be terrifying when negative thoughts start to enter your mind. When people make you question your choices, you begin to also doubt yourself. That is if you don’t have a solid conviction of who you really are, what you want, and where you are going. On my way to getting there, I’ve learned how to make the journey light, and I’m sharing it here with you. 1. Know exactly what you want. Where exactly is your ‘there’? Living without goals is like driving without direction. You keep on going around in circles. You don’t get anywhere simply because you don’t know where you’re heading. If you know exactly what you want, you can change your strategies or change your timetable and still know it’s okay because you haven’t forgotten your destination. You have a clear vision of where you’re going so you don’t go astray. You may have stopovers or detours, but keep your eyes on the prize. What do you really want to do, and where do you want to go? Giphy 2. Be friends with people from all walks of life. Younger friends are fun to be with because their excitement and curiosity are contagious. They keep you young and updated. Friends who are about your age share the same sentiments. You can share notes about your past experiences, struggles, and plans. They are your reality check. Friends who are more mature or are ahead of you in this life journey could be amazing life mentors. They will guide you and help you avoid making the same mistakes they did. Entrepreneurs have different mindsets and lifestyles from people in the workforce. See things from different perspectives by forming friendships with business owners and employees. Every person you meet has a story, and their story comes with lessons for you to learn. Giphy 3. Do something today that your future self will thank you for.They say money speaks only one language. “If you save me today, I will save you tomorrow.”Learn how to manage your finances. The people who laugh at your frugal ways will one day come to you and ask you for help. (True story!) Take care of your health and secure your future. Learn how to be truly rich. Enjoy the present, but don’t forget to save some for tomorrow. You don’t want to be begging for money when you’re too old or maybe too sick to work. Yes, YOLO! But you only live once, so you might as well not live miserably, right? That piece of steak looks good, but is it really worth it when you know you’re putting your life at risk? Not to mention the debilitating effect of the meat industry on the environment and, of course, the suffering of the animals just for you to get your plate of juicy steak. Your future self will thank you for your choices today. Choose selflessly and wisely for your health, the planet you live on, and the future. Giphy 4. Travel more. Visit a new place. Traveling changes your perspective. You realize that you are a tiny speck in the vast universe. Your primary concern, like your change of career, what other people would think, not having a date for Valentine’s, not having enough clothes in your closet, or not getting the latest gadget, will become insignificant. CALVIN: If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live much differently. HOBBES: How so? CALVIN: Well, when you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than people do all day. Imgur 5. Help someone. Your job title, the trophies, and the rewards you received may be impressive and could give you euphoria. But there is a different kind of high when you give without expecting anything in return. Help someone who is not capable of giving you back. At least not directly. Because kindness begets kindness. The love (or hate) you give will eventually come back to you. Have you ever been a part of a ministry and witnessed God’s work through people helping other people? You will be amazed. Giphy 6. Let go. You can never enjoy the present if you keep looking back at the past. As you age, you realize that some dreams are worth pursuing and others are not your dreams but someone’s plans for you, like your parents. Let go of the people who are holding you back. Let go of your excess baggage to make your journey getting there easier and lighter. What are the things that are weighing you down? Is it guilt? Forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness. Confess. Is it an addiction? Seek help. Is it your inner critic? Learn how to silence it. Is it worrying about what people would say? Why does it matter anyway? Is it the limitation you set yourself? Change your mindset. Is it a toxic lifestyle? Learn how to live healthily and live happily. Is it fear? Do it afraid. Is it your lavish ways? Simplify. Giphy Sometimes you get to your dreams fast, and sometimes you face detours. Sometimes on your way to reaching your goals, you realize life is more than just about pursuing a career and living according to society's dictates. Sometimes you get lost and find a better dream, and sometimes you see...a better you. I’m getting to my next chapter. Just taking it slow, enjoying each step, but getting there. How about you? Where are you going? What lessons have you learned on your way to getting there?
Books The Quickie By James Patterson Book Review 7:57 PM The Quickie By James Patterson Book Review The Quickie by James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge is about Lauren, a wife caught in the spiderweb of lies of his almost perfect husband.One accidental discovery led to a one-night stand. And murder. One wrong choice brought forth lies, crimes, and head-spinning revelations. How far will you go for the person you love? And what if, in the process of saving him, you find yourself unmasking a scary stranger you promised to love and to hold for richer, for poorer, 'til death do you part?The Quickie By James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge Book ReviewRant and review (You've been warned)SPOILER ALERT!You know that feeling when you see a glaring red sign DANGER, but instead of turning around, you rush into it head-on?I feel like that's how Lauren, the main character in this book, feels. How can you turn around and walk away when every flip of the page, every turn of events, is an unveiling? That your married life has been nothing but a big fat lie?Men.Oh, men.Men who are cheaters, accomplished liars, two-faced monsters. Not the giant hairy monster that will get you running the other way when you see them.But monsters with beaming gorgeous smiles and dimples in well-pressed suits.I can forgive a mistake when it's all in the past when I'm not in the picture yet.But cheating while we're together, albeit in a messy situation, is unforgivable. One wrong step, one stupid decision on a wild night because of lust, alcohol, and misery may be a misstep. But if you keep doing it and living in it, that's not a mistake anymore. That's a choice.A deliberate decision to plunge the knife into my heart again and again and again.GiphyThere you are, walking through our door every night like a good husband and responsible citizen.Walking inside a different home in another city on another day. Acting like the perfect husband and doting father to your bastard. While we're still together. Legally, imperfectly happily married.How can you look at yourself in the mirror?Calling that child an accident is another freaking layer of this beautiful wrapper to this fantastic gift that is the truth.So did you trip and fall on the woman, and then boom! You find yourselves naked with your plonker inside her warm cave? How convenient! Some magic that could put David Blaine to shame.Cheaters got me riled up. I can only imagine how this wife feels. After saving her husband's ass by covering his tracks repeatedly, risking her career and her life only to find out he's the devil's pawn driving a Ferrari in his parallel life.And him telling her it's all for the child's sake. It's a picture of a happy family they're trying to paint for the daughter. He and the woman have long been over. Only to find a sonogram of twins in his pocket.It's like being sucker punched.Ah, the perfect family that we never will be.When is the lie going to end? When will you stop insulting my intelligence?How nice of you to be making your dreams come true while we're struggling for years to build our own family.How are you going to digest all that? In one sitting? Because I finished the book in one day.It's a real page-turner.My heart is still pounding, and my blood pressure is still high while writing this review.My heart breaks to a thousand pieces for the wife. And my heart boils for the lying, cheating sonofabitch husband she has.It's like watching Ally McBeal discover the truth about Billy moving to Chicago and ending their decades of relationship again.It's like watching Rachel break up with Ross over a quickie afresh.WifflegifRating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐I give five blinding shining stars because James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge made me feel things I didn't want to in this novel.Dread. Fear. Confusion. Loathing. The gut-wrenching, soul-crashing pain of betrayal. Rage. A whole lot of rage.It forced me to look at the hideous face of infidelity, which I never wanted to see.What I like about The Quickie by James PattersonIt will get you hooked at the get-go.Happy ending for Lauren.A clean slate for the people involved.Justice. Not the one it deserves, in my opinion, but justice all the same.Made me thankful I married a faithful man.I didn't like the ugly emotions this book evoked in me, but that's what an excellent, compelling book does! It disturbs you and makes you want to scream in anger and frustration.I do love a happy ending. I'm glad that loose ends were tied in the story. At least for the time being. Because you know what they say. The truth always comes out.Unfortunately for Lauren, it did. The truth about what kind of man he married.And he didn't even have the balls or the decency to give her all the truth she deserved to hear.Evil up to the very end.What I don't likeI hate, loathe, despise, abhor - and insert all synonyms that apply - cheaters. Especially those who don't own up to their mistakes. And have the gall to point the fingers at you. Infidelity rubs me the wrong way because I'm a wife myself. I can't imagine what I'll do or feel if I were in that situation. It will take me a while to process the betrayal. The world Lauren crumbled down just when she thought everything would be alright. More than alright. Picture perfect.It's like finding your favorite toy on the far-off shelf after scouting store after store, and then suddenly, someone grabs it and breaks it into pieces right in front of you.That's how I felt when the puzzle pieces kept falling into place. As Lauren followed her too-good-to-be-true, doting, loving, perfect husband. Knocking at his other beautiful home's door, looking at his glowing face in the photographs like the ideal husband and father he is to these strangers he also calls his family.Watching him glow with pride and happiness as he plays the good old daddy paying a visit from his hectic work schedule.Lie after lie. My heart is being smashed as I turn every page.Will I recommend it?Absolutely! Especially to those who enjoy crime or cop novels or stories that will keep you on the edge of your seat.WARNING: If you don't want to be stressed out by lying husbands, don't read this book!I didn't expect it to affect me this way, but here we are.Final thoughtsI'm happy that Lauren got her chance to a new beginning. Lying husband-free.I'll get to that happy place soon. It's difficult for an emotionally involved reader like me to move on after this traumatizing roller coaster journey. But I'll get there. Not as quickly as the quickie that started this all out. But soon enough. What book has stirred your emotions?Check out my top romance novel recommendations categorized by tropes.Hey, you wanna be book buddies? I share short book reviews, recommendations, funny memes, and relatable reels on my Instagram account @booksandblogs_lux. Follow me there! I also post my reviews on Goodreads.