Lux Thinking Aloud This Happy Single Asks: Questions and Ramblings 9:00 AM Never compare your beginning to someone else's middle. Sometimes, this happy single asks...What's out there? Who's out there for me? Is this all in my destiny? Sometimes, this happy single asks one too many times, it seems: When's my time? Is it tomorrow? Is it next week? How much longer do I have to wait? Some nights are colder. Longer. Some days are cruel. Hollower. People could be ruthless, laughing at her life choices, making her feel she's not good enough. Pointing at her flaws. Making her feel broken and beyond redemption. So sometimes, this happy single asks: When will it stop? But there are days---many, many days when her faith prevails, and her hope is renewed. So this happy single asks with excitement: What's he gonna be like? Have I already met him? I hope not! Will it be just another ordinary day, and destiny will sneak up on me? Or will I be swept off my feet like in the books or movies? Yes, sometimes her imagination runs wild. But that's the beauty of being single. You have a blank canvas. You can paint your future the way you want to. She's genuinely happy for her peers who are getting married or starting families. She celebrates their milestones with joy. Yet, sometimes, this happy single still asks: How about me? Where's my story? Is this all that's written in the prophecy? Being curious and anxious about the unknown and the uncertain is normal. And it's okay to get tired of waiting sometimes. Maybe one day, she'll unravel life's mysteries. Or perhaps just a few.Or maybe none at all. But that's alright, for each finds their own path.You can't compare your beginning to someone else's middle. And no matter what happens, she knows for certain that she's gonna live one epic life.For this happy single's journey is of her own choosing, written by her hand.
Dating 6 Apps For A Stronger Relationship 5:00 PM Don't let technology tear you apart. Use it to keep you together and strengthen your bond. Even the most committed, loving relationships hit rough patches and get stuck in ruts. Break yourself out of bad patterns by using technology to reconnect with your partner and spice up your love life. These six apps will help you plan better dates, communicate with each other, celebrate the best moments of your relationship, and resolve conflict. Use them as a way to coordinate your schedules, keep communication happening during busy times, or to discover a deeper connection with each other. 6 Apps For A Stronger Relationship BetterHalf Image via Applits.com Win at date night with the BetterHalf app. You both download the iOS app, then use it to find dining and movie options you'll both enjoy that fit within both of your schedules. Craft a date night you'll both love by choosing dinner and a movie, then invite your partner on the fabulous date. The app also lets you search movie locations and restaurants that are near specific locations, like your significant other's office or your home. Fix a Fight Image via Apple.com Let technology help you get over the stress of fighting by using the Fix a Fight app. Available for $4.99 in the Apple store, this app uses relationship research to help couples overcome their differences without harboring long-term feelings of resentment and anger. By defining how you feel and working together to repair the fight, you and your partner will build a stronger relationship with a little help from the Fix a Fight app. Couple Image via Apple.com This private app is a fantastic way to stay in touch with your significant other. Couple, available for free download on Android and iOS, provides you with a way to stay connected to your sweetheart whether you're living two streets or two countries away from one another. You can share private content; pictures and messages look beautiful displayed on a smartphone, like the Samsung Galaxy S7 edge from a carrier such as T-Mobile, and with its fast network, everything downloads with ease. Couple also suggests date night locations and helps you meet up in real time by sharing your locations with each other. Couplete – App for Couples Image via Google.com This app has some overlapping features with Couple, but the major bonus of the Couplete app is its timeline feature. You and your partner create a timeline of your relationship together, including milestones, photos, and happy memories. You can share pieces of your timeline on social media if you want to share the joy or let your family and friends know that you're passing an important anniversary. Couplete also features a Wishbox, where you both add things you want to do together. Download it for free on Android and iOS. Open Ended Questions Image via Apple.com The Open Ended Questions app will bring your relationship to the next level by encouraging you and your love to talk about the important things in life. When you're bogged down in the day-to-day aspects of a life together, sometimes you forget to keep asking the bigger questions that make your relationship closer. The Open Ended Questions app, which is $1.99 on iOS and Android, asks you 50 questions about life, your needs, your dreams, and your relationship which are designed to get you and your partner talking about the present and the future in a heartfelt way. Expressing Needs Image via Apple.com Telling your partner what would make you happy isn't always easy. Some partners assume their needs are obvious, and others simply have trouble communicating what would make them happier. The Expressing Needs app, available for $1.99 on iOS and Android, first asks you a series of questions so you can define what you need out of your relationship. Then it helps you phrase those needs in a positive way, so that your partner will be receptive. If you both engage with the app, you and your partner will know how to make each other even happier. Don't wait until you've hit a rocky patch in your relationship to download these apps. Get in the habit of planning date nights, sending cute messages, and talking about important things now. No matter what state your relationship is in, focus on strengthening it both for now and for the long run. Author: Ryan Tyson Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Health & Wellness 3 Ways You Can Support Your Partner's Mental Wellness 10:34 PM In a healthy, happy relationship, supporting your significant other through the ups and downs is always essential. This includes uplifting your partner when they are going through hard times and struggling to maintain their mental wellness. Grappling with mental health is one of the most challenging battles. It can significantly impact your quality of life, abilities, relationships, and more. When someone struggles with mental health, it can leave them feeling mixed emotions. For example, they may feel isolated or hopeless. That is why being there for your other half dealing with mental health issues is crucial. If you need help supporting your partner's mental wellness, keep reading for helpful tips! 1. Be a listening ear.If you want to understand what your partner is going through, listen to them. Listen to their feelings, experiences, thoughts, and opinions. Being a good listener can be difficult if you listen to respond rather than to understand. When you listen and understand, you will better know your partner's feelings and how to help them. Sometimes, it's tempting to want to give them advice and try to help them. However, that's not always what that person wants. Your partner might want to be heard, get the burden off their chest, and have their feelings validated. Reassure them that you create a safe space for them to share everything. Try to listen and only offer advice if your partner asks for it. Reaffirm to your partner that they are strong and you are here to help them overcome this.Remember, it may be hard for your partner to open up. They may fear being judged or dismissed. This is why you need to create an environment where they feel comfortable coming to you for help with their mental wellness. 2. Assist them in seeking help.Mental Health HelpDoes your partner have a strong support system? Friends and family? How about a mental health professional to lean on? Mental health can be serious. Unfortunately, dealing with anxiety and depression is complex, and it's not always fixed by venting to your partner. Encourage your partner to seek professional help for their mental health.A mental health professional will listen through every session and provide coping strategies. They can also prescribe depression medications if necessary. Seeking help from a mental health counselor will help decide the best treatment options. They will assist you in getting the help you need so you start feeling like yourself again. Whether it's stress, burnout, anxiety, or depression, a mental health professional will benefit anyone struggling with their mental health issues.If your partner seems nervous or hesitant about seeking help, accompany them on their first counseling session. It will help them to feel more relaxed, and you can help them communicate what they are feeling. Once they feel more comfortable going alone, you can ask how best to support them. Their counselor might suggest that you join another session to gather different ways you can be supportive or help with their coping strategies. Research your partner's mental health issues and discuss any concerns you might have.Seek help for mental wellness. 3. Encourage self-care.Remind your partner to indulge in activities that bring them joy. They need to practice self-care by doing the activities they love. Using Perfect Plant delta 9 edibles can be a part of this self-care routine, offering relaxation and enjoyment. This can help assist with anxiety and stressful emotions, allowing a peaceful way to have some downtime. Try out things together as well. Bonding as a couple is a great way to work on your relationship. You should encourage your partner to practice self-care and stick to your self-care routine. Unfortunately, when caring for your partner, your self-care routine can slip away and be easily pushed to the back of your mind. However, it is vital to continue your routine, as core wellness and self-care are more important now than ever.With added responsibilities, it can be taxing on your mind and body.Schedule some time for self-care to forget about all that is stressing you out and focus on something you enjoy.Support your partner's mental wellness with these tips today.Don't forget to listen to understand and create a positive, open, and safe atmosphere for your partner to discuss their struggles. Mental health shouldn't be taboo. Encourage your partner to get support for their mental wellness today.Hero image
Faith Trade Off 10:05 AM Trade Off I'm still listening to husband and wife Arun and Lallaine Gogna's Quaretreat every night. This helps me a lot with my mental health. The c oronavirus may only have infected a certain number of people but psychologically and mentally, we are all affected. On this day 8 of my l ockdown diary, they talked about trade off. Is there something you thought was important that during this q uarantine you realize you can trade off for essentials like food, sanitizer and masks? What are they? Best trade God always asks us to trade. In my life, He's asked me many times to let go of what I've been holding on to dearly: my work, old friends, failing relationships, my plans. It's hard. It takes a while. I could really be stubborn. Good thing is that God doesn't give up on us. He is patient and gentle. But He doesn't stop until He brings us safely to where He wants us to be. Until we are cut off from the people who bring us harm. Until we are protected from which we thought was good for us. Today, I remember yet again how blessed I am to have an amazing God. He has my best interest in mind. God's plans are better than what I have for myself. Pinterest This life in the time of c oronavirus may feel like a struggle for me many times but He has something special in store for me, that I'm sure. There is a purpose behind this predicament. There is a blessing behind this burden. There is a beautiful story waiting to unravel, a wonderful lesson that needs to be learned. I am trading off my comfortable life and temporary freewill to surrender to His will. I may not see it yet, but I know the ending will be amazing. For me and for all of us. We just need to trust in Him. After all, He traded His majesty to be with us and be one of us. All because He wants to save us. That is hands down the biggest trade off ever. Your turn What are you willing to trade off or let go? How has this crisis been affecting your mental health? P.S. Yesterday I shared about my fondness for gardening. So today I searched more videos about gardening. It's addicting. And my husband picked a branch of beautiful pink flowers for me on his way home from the groceries. It's a good day. 😊
Dating 15 Signs You're Comfortable Being Single 12:14 PM It's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone. -Amy Sedaris This post was originally written for and posted on Thought Catalog. 15 Signs You're Comfortable Being Single 1. You’re okay staying in on a beautiful weekend. You don't call random people to hang out on a sunny Saturday. You'd raYou’dcatch up on your reading or watch your favorite re-runs. 2. You are sincerely happy about your friends' milestones, engagements, weddings, and new babies. 3. You don't get uncomfortable when you go out with other couples. 4. You can dine out, watch a movie or travel alone. 5. When someone asks about your relationship status, you answer honestly without batting an eye because you don't think it's embarrassing or lame to be alone in a couple-filled world. 6. Your calendar is always full: vacations, breakfast/lunch/dinner with old friends, movie dates with your siblings or friends, seminars, and other essential activities outside work/school.7. When people think something's wrong with you because you’re single, you conclude that there’s wrong with them. 8. You don't know how it is to be dating or in a relationship anymore, and it doesn't bother you one bit.How many times do you need to send them messages? Which decisions do you need to consult with them about? (And why?). 9. You ignore the sweet nothings you receive in your inbox or phone because you don’t have time for someone you know is not severe or is not showing potential for a partner. 10. You are genuinely happy with where you are right now, even when things aren't going your way.11. Your plans may involve settling down, but you're not pressured to do it any time soon. 12. You hate asking someone's permission to buy something or go somewhere. So you come, and you go as you please. 13. You enjoy your own company, so you don’t feel like missing out on something. 14. Your heart goes out to those who are afraid to be alone and wish they’ll see the light and embrace singleness rather than be in an unhappy relationship only because they want to feel secure. 15. You’re not bitter about your failed relationships anymore. You are actually grateful that it ended. If it didn’t, you wouldn't be this happy right now.How comfortable - and happy - are you with your status?Hero image
Listicle 17 Things I Love About My Husband 11:00 PM I want to honor my better half as we celebrate our wedding anniversary. Allow me to share 17 things I love about my husband. 17 reasons why I'm thankful to have him as my life partner.17 Things I Love About My Husband1. He is patient.Marriage is a big adjustment, from deciding on everything by myself to sharing my life with someone.Our cultural differences also make it difficult for us to understand each other.Despite our contrasting personalities and shortcomings, my husband is patient with me. I love that about him.2. He's responsible. My husband sees I don't have to worry about things around the house. He ensures we are comfortable, from fixing leaks to running errands. He takes care of and provides for our needs. I love that he has the initiative to take out the trash without being asked. He doesn't put off until later what needs to be done at the moment.3. He makes me laugh. I love it when he does silly things to give me a little break from working. He shares amusing stories to help keep my stress level down.4. He's smart. He thinks like an engineer; he's math-savvy, inquisitive, methodical, and systematic. My husband is perceptive, thorough, logical, and analytical.He's an eloquent speaker, and I couldn't be prouder.5. He's loyal. When my husband finds a good restaurant, we return to that place, order the same food, and even sit at the same table whenever possible. He asks for the same hairstylist, masseuse, and driver whenever he needs their service.Most of all, he is loyal to me. 6. He makes me feel at peace.Because I know that no matter what happens, he will take care of me, fight for our relationship, and never hurt me intentionally.I know how it is to be in a relationship without your partner's loyalty. Or when there's always a conflict to work on.You're always on edge. I appreciate not having to worry about these things anymore.7. He is thoughtful.My husband always thinks about me and my needs, no matter how busy he gets. He knows my language of love gifts, so he sees that I receive a gift, even if it's just a flower he's picked on his way home.8. He puts Christ first.When I was single, someone said, "Find a man who puts God first and your second. He will not look for a third."I don't mind being my husband's second priority as long as God is his first. As it is, marriage is a covenant between you, God, and your partner. 9. He wants me to take care of myself.My husband always reminds me to pamper myself. He's also willing and eager to wait while I get my hair and nails done.I love that he doesn't just follow me when I shop. Instead, I can ask for his opinion, and he'll give me honest feedback and suitable suggestions.10. He's humble. Our marriage is not perfect, but he's willing to change his ways to improve.Being the leader in our relationship, he's humble enough to apologize first - even when sometimes I'm at fault. 😛11. He's romantic.My husband is my most loving, caring, and romantic partner. He can make me feel special and loved even in ordinary times. He makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, even when I don't think at my best.12. He's selfless.He puts my needs and comfort first before his. Yet, I am included in all his dreams and plans.13. He's clean.My husband takes hygiene seriously. He smells fresh and is always clean. We don't have a messy house; he cleans the kitchen even before eating (unlike me, I wait until we're done before I wash the dishes), and most of all, we always sleep with clean sheets. I can't imagine living with a sloppy person. I'm glad my husband isn't one.15. He has no vices.My husband doesn't smoke and has not had alcohol for a decade. He doesn't gamble, and he has no bad habits.He loves watching movies so much that I could say that's his only "vice," but I get to binge-watch with him sometimes, so all good. 16. He's the best travel companion ever.I love finding the best travel planner and partner I could ever ask for. From making sure we get the best deal without compromising comfort and safety, planning our itinerary, and packing our travel needs, he's on top of things.On the day of the trip, from waking me up (forcing me out of bed, really lol), preparing our breakfast and bags, securing our house, carrying my luggage, and ensuring that we enjoy the trip, I can rely on him.Can't wait to travel with him again.17. He's an excellent life companion. There are days when I need my space, and he respects that. We can sit in silence comfortably or talk endlessly ---mainly depending on my mood. 😁Why I love my husbandMy husband and I couldn't be more different. I can multitask, but he needs to focus on one thing. As all men do, I think.I'm 99% introverted (according to the personality test we took), and he's a full-blown extrovert.Yet I know we can turn our differences into delight.I prayed for a good partner, and God gave me more than I asked for. My husband is another reason I love my life and consider myself blessed.I love my husband because he could be my best friend, most trusted confidant, most supportive cheerleader, and worst critic. I love many things about my husband and am excited to discover more in the coming years.Happy anniversary, Honey! 😘
Lux Thinking Aloud My Virtual Friend 6:28 PM The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge Day 29: Who is your closest or most special friend that you've never met and what do they mean to you? How did you cross paths? Talk about how you “met” them: Facebook, Twitter, an online support group, etc. My Virtual Friend I have one good virtual friend whom I haven't met personally yet. We have a mutual friend, then we started texting regularly and he even gave me a Bible as a Christmas present. He was a seminarian then. Now he's a priest. We could talk about anything and everything under the sun. We argue and often agree to disagree. He gives me numerous advice about life and I'd give him my two cents. He asks me for medical advice too and he'll answer my spiritual inquiries. Our communication stopped when he got busy with priesthood and was assigned in a Catholic school. Still, whenever we get the chance to chat, it feels like the old times. It's been more than a decade since we started being friends. I'm glad I share this kind of friendship. A virtual friend whom I know is genuine compared to those I see face to face but are not 100% sincere.Amazing what technology can do, right?Bridging gaps, building friendships.Do you have a virtual friend you feel a genuine connection with?
Life Lessons 20 Things I Would Tell My High School Self 9:48 AM You may feel like it's the end, but it's only the beginning. The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge Day 18: If you could have a conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say? There are things I would like to tell my high school self. Don't we all wish we have a time machine so we can go back and redo or undo a few things? I bet if we could, most of us will go back to high school. That's when majority of our boo boos happened. It's also when we met great people who became our lifelong friends, when we couldn't care less, when we learned some of the best life lessons, and when some wonderful moments happened. 20 Things I Would Tell My High School Self 1. You've got brilliant ideas! Don't be afraid to speak up and share it to the world. I used to always hold back in sharing especially during a class. I know the answers while the rest of my classmates would stare back blankly when a teacher asks a question. Then I'd hate hate hate it when the teacher would reveal the answer because it's exactly what I was thinking. This did not happen just once, but all throughout my student life. 2. Time is important. Discipline begins now. 3. Don't cut your hair too short! It won't be as lustrous as it is now when it grows back. 4. Haters are confused admirers. Enjoy the attention but continue to work on improving yourself. 5. Watch T.V. less. 6. Learn to say "no" as early as now. 7. Careful who you trust. Not everyone who calls you friend are really your friends. 8. ALWAYS wear lotion. 9. Eat more veggies! You'll thank me later. 10. Sleep, sleep, sleep. 11. Don't take life too seriously. You're only young once. 12. Sweet Valley is nice, but read more John Grishams and Sidney Sheldons. You'll never have enough time to read. 13. Now is the best time to start tithing and investing. 14. Go take that risk! 15. Don't use that product. 16. Everything will make sense a little later. 17. Keep on dancing! 18. It will sometimes suck, but just hang in there. 19. You are the only one stopping you. 20. You may feel like it's the end, but it's only the beginning. High school is a beautiful prerequisite to the real world. It exposed us to different kinds of people, allowed us to experience different things, gave us our highs and our lows, gave us a preview of what life is going to be, provided us our first taste of hellos and goodbyes. My high school self had a blast. I know I could have done better, I could have made wiser decisions and I could have been more cautious. If I could go back, I'd tell my high school self all these 20 things. But maybe I would also just let myself be, and watch myself trip, fall, laugh and discover life the way I did. That's where the fun really was.
Lux Thinking Aloud For the Daughters Who Grieve the Mother They Never Had 5:28 PM This post is not about dishonoring your mother. It's about honoring yourself: your healing, your story, and the cycle you refused to pass on. For the Daughters Who Grieve the Mother They Never HadMother's Day is loud.It's pink and floral and full of brunch reservations and Instagram captions that say things like "my greatest blessing" and "my safe place."And if you grew up with a mother who was supposed to be your safe place but wasn't, that noise can feel unbearable.You're not broken for feeling it. You're not ungrateful. You're not dramatic.You're human, and you were hurt by someone who was supposed to protect you first.The Grief Nobody Talks AboutThere is a particular kind of grief that doesn't have a funeral. It's the grief of the mother you needed but never had. The one who was supposed to be the first voice that made you feel loved, not the first voice that made you feel small. The one who should have been your soft place to land, not the reason you learned to brace for impact. If you grew up hypervigilant. If you over-explained yourself before anyone even asked. If you apologized for simply existing in a room, you know this grief.It lives in you quietly. Until Mother's Day comes, and suddenly it's everywhere.You are allowed to grieve that. You are allowed to sit with the ache of what should have been. And you are also allowed to know. It was never about you being not enough or too much.You Were Not Born to Carry Her WeightYou came into this world as a whole person. With your own story to live, your own voice to find, your own life to build. You were not born to heal your mother's hurt. You were not born to earn love that should have been freely given. You were not born to carry the weight of her unlived life or her unhealed wounds. The love you longed for as a child was not something you had to deserve. It was something you were owed, simply by being.And the distance you may have created between yourself and her now? That isn't disrespect. That isn't ingratitude. That is a person who finally stopped allowing someone to break them, even when that someone is their mother.What Honoring Your Parents Actually MeansFaith asks us to honor our parents. And that is a call worth taking seriously.But honoring someone does not mean allowing them to continue hurting you. Honor does not require you to bleed quietly in the name of family. You can hold reverence for the role of a parent, for what that role is meant to be, without excusing the ways it was misused against you. You can pray for your mother. You can wish her healing, even from a distance. You can release bitterness without welcoming harm back in. That is honor. Choosing peace over pain, for both of you, is one of the most faithful things you can do.The Curse Stopped With YouHere is the most beautiful, heartbreaking, hopeful thing about your story:You broke the cycle.Maybe you looked at your own children and realized, oh. How easy it was to be gentle. How natural it was to be kind. How little it took to make them feel safe, seen, and loved beyond condition.You had kids just like you once were. Small and tender and full of need. And instead of repeating what was done to you, you chose differently. You gave them the childhood your heart always knew was possible.That is not a small thing. That is everything. The generational curse: the silence, the fear, the conditional love, it ends in your hands. Your children will not grow up wondering if they are a burden or a blessing. They will know. That is your legacy. That is worth celebrating this Mother's Day.And if you don't have children yet, or have chosen not to have them, this is for you too. Breaking the cycle doesn't only happen in the nursery. It happens the moment you decide that what was done to you will not become what you do to others. It happens when you choose relationships rooted in safety instead of fear. When you speak to yourself with the kindness she never modeled. When you refuse to normalize cruelty just because it was once called love. You don't need a child to prove the curse is broken. You just have to live differently from what you were shown. And you already are.It's Okay Not to Celebrate HerLet me say this as gently and as clearly as I can:You don't owe anyone a performance of gratitude that costs you your peace.You don't have to buy the card. You don't have to make the call. You don't have to show up to the brunch and smile through the discomfort to make everyone else comfortable. It's okay to let Mother's Day be your day. A day to honor the mother you are becoming, the healing you are doing, the inner child inside you who finally feels safe. If you choose to reach out to your mother, let it be from a place of your choosing, not guilt, not obligation, not fear of what others will think.And if you don't reach out, that is also valid. That is also allowed. That is also an act of love, toward yourself.How to Celebrate Your Healing TodayThis Mother's Day, here are some ways to honor your story:Write a letter to your younger self. Tell her what you know now. Tell her she was never the problem.Celebrate the mother you are. If you have children, hold them a little longer today. Know that every moment of gentleness you give them is a miracle.Rest without guilt. You have carried so much. You are allowed to simply rest.Call your chosen family. The people who became your safe place when home wasn't — thank them. Love them back.Let yourself feel it all. The grief, the pride, the relief, the hope. All of it is part of healing.If You Don't Understand This, GoodIf you're reading this and genuinely can't relate...If your parent was your first call when life fell apart or came together, hold on to that. Tightly.You never had to earn her love. You never had to shrink yourself to survive a room she was in. You never performed well in school just hoping this time would be enough to make her proud. You never wondered if you were a burden or a blessing.Consider yourself blessed and beautifully privileged. It means no one ever asked you to choose between surviving and belonging. That is a gift. Receive it with open hands.So if you've ever looked at someone estranged from their mother and thought, "How could you? You only have one mother." Consider that they didn't choose distance because love was easy. They chose it because staying was slowly destroying them.And also ask, "What could they have done to their child that they have to choose to stay away?" Not everyone who walks away is ungrateful. Some of them are just finally, quietly, saving their own life. A Note to the Daughter Who Is Still in the Middle of ItMaybe you haven't fully healed yet. Maybe you're still figuring out where the line is between love and survival. Maybe you still pick up the phone sometimes, half-hoping this time will be different.That's okay too.Healing isn't a destination you arrive at all at once. It's a thousand small choices, to speak up, to step back, to extend yourself grace, to try again tomorrow.You don't have to have it all figured out today.What matters is that you're no longer willing to keep dying quietly in the name of keeping the peace.That is the beginning of everything.If this resonated with you, you're not alone. You never were. 💛 Share this with someone who needs to hear it today.Read Paper Flowers: Poetry on the Mother WoundPaper Flowers: Poetry on the Mother Wound is a five-part poetry collection for those mourning unmet needs and healing by embodying the nurturing mother they always wished for as children. READ PAPER FLOWER
Life Lessons You Are A Story 4:00 AM Everyone is a story. Each vital to the world. You are a story. That person you sat beside on the bus or train, that little girl you saw sitting on her mom's lap at the park, that guy smoking a cigarette from the building across your office, or the homeless man you pass by every day near the subway, or the lady who got off the elevator as you're about to get in. All of them has a special story waiting to tell. They are stories for everyone to read. You are a story yourself. The world needs to hear your story more than you'll ever know. They need to know your joys and heartaches. They need to learn your lessons. People need to see your scars to know that their wounds will someday heal too. They need to know they're not alone in their journey because someone out there is exactly on the same page. Or has been through what they're going through. Make your story a beautiful one. One that even when you leave the world, those who have been privileged to get to know you will continue to tell with fondness and joy. Don't leave the world confused because they're not sure which part of your story is true and which is just a show. Don't leave the world worse than when you get here. Aspire to live in such a way that strangers would wonder if there are more like you, and inspire them to be like you to another stranger. Live in such a way that people will miss your absence, not rejoice over it. Live in such a way that if you are a book, people will not only give you a five star review, but will keep re-reading your story. That if someone asks them for a recommendation, they will recommend your story. Your story need not be known all over the world (although if you can, why not?). As long as those around you are inspired and blessed by it, you're good. Mother Teresa said, "Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you." Never underestimate your story. If it can change one person, it can change the world. If you like this blog post about life and love, please share the article using the social media buttons below or on the left. Thanks!
Health & Wellness Shy vs. Introverted: Similarities, Differences, Perceptions 1:19 AM Shy vs. Introverted: Similarities, Differences, Perceptions Ever had moments when the idea of speaking to a group made your palms sweat and your heart race? Or do you prefer being the wallflower to being the center of attention? We've all been there, experiencing the tug of introversion and the jitters of shyness. Most people assume that being shy and introverted is the same, but that can't be further from the truth. That's coming from a shy kid who later enjoyed speaking on stage but still prefers the quiet of a good book to a loud party scene. And that's what I'm sharing today: shy vs. introverted. Their similarities, differences, and perceptions of society towards them. Introvert vs. Shy Individuals The terms' shyness' and 'introversion' are often used interchangeably, but do they actually refer to the same personality trait? The truth is, they don't. They are different in how people relate to their surroundings and to themselves. By the end of this article, I hope to give you a clearer perspective on these two personality types, their distinguishing features, and societal perceptions. Understanding Shyness Shyness can be described as discomfort or inhibition in social situations, causing one to avoid social interactions. It is often linked with feelings of low self-esteem and self-consciousness. Shyness is a reaction to fear, which might occur when a person is around strangers or in unfamiliar situations.Gfycat Characteristics of a shy person hesitancy in speaking aversion to attentionfear of judgment or criticism exhibiting specific body language that communicates their discomfort - perhaps by avoiding eye contact or fidgeting.Shyness can affect anyone, regardless of age or gender, and is common in various social scenarios. How society perceives shyness As for societal perceptions, shyness often gets a bad rap. It's commonly mistaken for weakness, lack of confidence, or incompetence. Shy individuals can be just as competent and intelligent as their more outgoing counterparts, but their quiet nature often gets misinterpreted. Understanding Introversion On the other hand, being introverted is an integral part of human personality theory. An introvert is someone who tends to turn inward mentally. Introverts are more focused on internal thoughts, feelings, and moods rather than seeking external stimulation. They draw energy from solitude, and too much social interaction can leave them feeling emotionally drained. Characteristics of an introvertreference for solitudeenjoying activities that they can do alone or in a small group often needing time alone to recharge after social activitiesIntroverts don't necessarily hate social activities; they simply have a unique way of reacting. How society perceives introverts From the societal point of view, introverts are often misunderstood as aloof, unfriendly, or antisocial. This isn't necessarily true. Introverts can enjoy social situations, too; they just prefer them in smaller doses. Introversion isn't about being antisocial but being selectively social. Curious WriterI wrote about the 10 common misconceptions about introverts based on my own experience? READ IT HERE. Shyness vs. Introversion Let's look at their origin, social interaction, and comfort levels to better understand the distinction and overlap between introvert vs. shy characteristics. Differences between shyness and introversion: Origin: Shyness is often a response to fear — specifically, fear of social judgment or criticism. Introverts prefer calm and less exciting environments due to their personality. Social Interaction: Shy individuals may want to join social activities but hold back due to anxiety. On the other hand, introverts may opt out of certain social situations simply because they prefer solitude or a quiet evening with a few close friends. Comfort Level: Shyness can cause discomfort and distress in social settings. Introversion, in contrast, doesn't inherently cause discomfort; it's just a different way of engaging with the world.Similarities between shyness and introversion: Reserved Nature: Both shy and introverted individuals often exhibit a reserved nature. This might manifest as quietness or a preference for solitude.Misunderstandings: Shy individuals and introverts are both susceptible to being misunderstood. Shyness can be mistaken for aloofness, while introversion can be misconstrued as antisocial behavior. Wiffle GifPersonal Experiences: From a Shy Child to an Introverted AdultI was your typical shy kid in school. I struggle with interacting with my peers or speaking my mind in class. Although I usually know the answer, I rarely speak up unless someone asks me. During recitation, I pray to all the saints in heaven that my name will not be called, and I avoid eye contact with the teacher. This sense of discomfort in my skin, this shyness, was tied to a bundle of low self-esteem I carried everywhere (But that's another story). As adolescence knocked on the door, things started to change. I gradually shed my shyness. But my fondness for quiet places and intimate talks stayed intact. Delivering a class presentation wasn't the Everest it used to be, but given a choice between a house party and a quiet evening with a gripping novel, the book won hands down every time.This was my introduction to the world of introversion, a world where solitude is not lonely and quiet is comfortable. A world where social gatherings are not a nightmare but need strategic planning to ensure downtime afterward. As I grew up, I realized that my shyness turned into introversion. I'm no longer afraid of social interactions, but I prefer having fewer of them - or none. Lol!Taking the Myers-Briggs personality test only validated my self-realization. I found out that I'm an INFJ personality type. It made me understand further and appreciate my personality traits and preferences.Self.com How to Deal with Shyness and Introversion I've learned that embracing your natural tendencies, whether towards shyness or introversion, is essential. But learning self-management skills can improve work and relationships for individuals with specific characteristics. Strategies for managing shyness: Self-perception: Remember, everyone feels a little shy now and then. Embrace it as part of your humanity; don't let it define you. Practice: Like any skill, social interaction gets better with practice. Start with small steps - initiate a conversation, join a social activity, or speak up in a group. Self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. It's okay if you feel shy or intimidated sometimes. Don't pressure yourself to be constantly outgoing.Strategies for utilizing introversion as a strength:Prioritize Your Energy: As an introvert, it's okay to say no to social activities that leave you emotionally drained. Your energy is valuable; spend it wisely.Leverage Your Listening Skills: Introverts are often great listeners. Use this strength in your personal and professional life.Value Your Solitude: Embrace your preference for solitude. Use this time for creative pursuits, self-reflection, or simply recharging.Social Anxiety vs. Introversion Social anxiety is often confused with introversion. Social anxiety refers to the intense fear or anxiety that someone experiences when in social situations. It's much more than mere shyness or introversion. It's essential to consult with a mental health professional if you feel your fear of social situations is negatively impacting your life. Here's a simple comparison of social anxiety and shyness from Psych2go. Shy vs. Introverts Key Takeaway Here's a quick recap: Shyness and introversion differ; one stems from fear of social judgment, the other from a preference for less stimulating environments. Shy individuals often want to join social activities but hold back due to fear or anxiety. Introverts might decline the same activities out of preference. Both shyness and introversion have their strengths. Shyness can foster empathy and sensitivity, while introversion can cultivate deep thinking and creativity.Being shy or introverted isn't a problem to be solved but a part of your unique personality to be understood and embraced.You are beautiful just the way you are. Author's Note Please remember that this article is only meant to be informative based on my experience and thorough research. It should not be used for self-diagnosis. If you have concerns about personality traits or anxiety, please consult a licensed professional. Tenor5 Powerful and Beautiful Quotes about Shyness Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look and how we perform is truly important to other people. - Andre Dubus Shyness is just egoism out of its depth. - Penelope Keith Bashfulness may sometimes exclude pleasure but seldom opens any avenue to sorrow or remorse. - Richard Steele Our shyness is our own self-centeredness sticking out. - Peter Marshall Being shy is not something to aim to overcome. Being shy is a unique strength, a sensitivity to the feelings of others. - Unknown5 Powerful and Beautiful Quotes about Introverts or Introversion Introverts treasure the close relationships they have stretched so much to make. - Adam S. McHugh Introverts are collectors of thoughts, and solitude is where the collection is curated and rearranged to make sense of the present and future. - Laurie Helgoe In an extroverted society, the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that an introvert is often unconsciously deemed guilty until proven innocent. - Criss Jami Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people. - Laurie Helgoe (This answers the question: "Are introverts less talkative?" A friend pointed out that I talk a lot if I love the topic and am comfortable with the people around me.) An introvert may feel asocial when pressured to go to a party that doesn't interest them. They'd much rather spend time with people they know well and care about. - Laurie HelgoeGiphyBoth shyness and introversion have their own charm. My husband is extremely extroverted, but we still work out. He respects and gives me my space, and I let him lead and talk my ears off when he needs to. 😁How about you? Do you identify more as shy or introverted? Or a bit of both? How do you play to your strengths? I'd love to hear about your experiences and wisdom in the comments below! Header image from Freepik
