Love and Relationship Love Is Not Just An Emotion 9:28 AM Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do, long after the mood you said it in has left you. -Unknown Love is not just an emotion. Love is a decision. Love is when that giddy feeling of being on cloud 9 disappears, and you still decide to stay and love the other person anyway. Love is when you see the other side of your partner---the undesirable, unlovable one, but you still stick around no matter what. Love is when you don't feel like kissing, hugging, or saying, "I love you," but you still do. Because honoring, loving, and giving your 100% is a commitment you made. Love is more than just your libido on an all-time high. Love is when you see past her dazzling eyes, sweet smile, adorable face, and everything physical, and you still see beauty. Love is not a walk in the park. It is hard work. Love is getting your hands dirty to serve the person you love. Love is working on things together. It's a partnership and teamwork. It's not a one-way street. It's not a solo act. Love is a mutual effort. Love is work---a lot of work. Love is when you decide to hold on against all odds. Love is not for the lazy.Love is more than empty promises and poetry to flatter. Love is saying the truth, knowing that a little discomfort at the beginning will save you from future conflicts. Love is a decision. It's not for the fickle-minded. Love is not for the weak or the complacent. Love is a decision. No ifs, no buts, no maybes. Love is a conscious effort. Love is a deliberate action. Love is not just based on emotions. Love is a decision.
Rants The One Who Got Away 6:53 AM There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you’re with, and the one who got away. How often do you think about the one that got away? I always say I'd rather be the one who got away than the one who let go and forever lives in regrets. Things don't always end up the way we want them to, and there's nothing we can do but accept it. Let go and move on, so they say. I don't know about you, but sometimes I still find myself wondering about the what-ifs. What if I tried again? What if I believed the story, accepted the apology, and gave it another chance? What if I stretched my patience a little bit more? What if I tried to understand more? What if we fought harder for each other? What if I didn't give up? I'll never know. I guess it will always stay that way. I think it's better to stay that way. I know that once in our lives, we meet someone we thought we'd spend our happily ever after with before life took over and changed everything. The plans we carefully made for our future with this person ended. Reality cut like a knife and woke us from our beautiful dreams, forcing us to return to the real world and deal with the pain we thought would never stop. Maybe for another person, you are the one who got away. I believe it's part of the plan; to meet someone whose memories we'll forever cherish but whom we NEED to let go of. It's not my kind of plan, but what can we do? Life's a bitch. A friend of a friend posted this on Facebook (we don't know who the author is), and it's too good not to share. It speaks a lot about the one who got away---something most people can relate to.Everyone has their own Robin. We Know Memes We all have someone that got away. For all of us, here's one good read: The One Who Got Away(Author Unknown) In your life, you’ll make a note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special and ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with...and the one who got away. Who is the one who got away? I guess it’s that person with whom everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. I suppose there was no fault in the person nor flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone and finding a longtime partner, that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit maturely, it doesn't matter who you’re with. It just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential ones become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready, and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flash point of that fact. Then one day, you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens, you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, or they or she might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time, and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense. It really will. So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself different. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully, you’re single, in a long-term relationship, or married with three kids…it doesn't matter. All you know is that you have changed. And for some reason, the one who got away is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?” The one who got away is– the biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life. If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one who got away got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us.But hopefully, you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with, and this is just another test of your commitment, which will strengthen your marriage when you get past it. You’ll think about him/her occasionally, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens. Maybe the one who got away is the one who’s already married. In which case, it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips when you’re old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple –find him or find her. The existence of the “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder…what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee. Ask her out to a movie. It doesn't matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised. You just might be “the one who got away” as well for the person who is your “the one who got away.” You might drop in from nowhere, which won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll fall into place somehow. It would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one who almost got away.” Is there someone in your life who got away?
Faith God Is Not Fair 5:25 AM He makes His sun rise on the wicked and on the good, and makes the rain fall upon the upright and the wrongdoers. -Matthew 5:45 God is not fair. We say that God is a just Judge, but I also believe that He could be unfair. Why? God plays favorite. I know because I’m one of them. Instead of punishing me, He shows me mercy. When I run away from Him, instead of erasing my name on the palm of His hand, He runs after me. I could not escape His love. When I want Him to leave me alone, He patiently waits for my return. Because He knows no matter how long, I will always come back home to Him. He is a Lover who does not carry a grudge despite all the pain and the heartache I give Him. He does not keep a record of my wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5). I lost count of the times He showed me that I am highly favored. Now, how can you say He is just? When all I do is disappoint Him and do wrong and all He does is forgive me every time, love me lavishly and unconditionally. Care for me patiently. Provide for me generously. God is not fair. God loves everybody, but I’m His favorite. Tee hee. Linked to:
Life Lessons 4 Ways To Silence Your Own Critic 12:13 PM Listening to the voice of discouragement makes us deaf to the Voice of Truth. Every day, we're bombarded with opinions. We can't control what others say, but we can control what we believe. We get to choose whose voice gets airtime in our minds. The kicker is that negativity can mask a powerful truth - you were designed for greatness.You have a purpose, and you absolutely CAN achieve it. So how do we silence our inner critic and turn up the volume on our destiny? 1. Know who you are. You're not a random blip on the universe's radar. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. This self-awareness is your shield against anyone trying to dim your light. You are a child of God, and God does not make mistakes. If you have self-awareness, no one can change your identity for you. 2. Tune out the noise. Not all feedback is created equal. Learn to separate constructive criticism from random negativity. People have different perspectives, and sometimes comments get twisted in the mix. You can't please everyone, and that's okay. Offense is a choice. 3. Don't be too harsh on yourself. We treat others with kindness, so why not ourselves? Mistakes happen. Forgive yourself, learn from them, and move on. Don't let the voice of guilt hold you hostage. One mess-up doesn't define you. 4. Check your inner compass.Take a quiet moment and listen to your heart. You have an innate sense of right and wrong. Don't ignore that feeling. Your body also whispers wisdom. Pay attention to its signals. Silence Your Own Critic: A JourneyQuieting your inner critic is a journey, not a destination. It takes practice to discern which voice to trust. Here's the key: The Voice of Truth never requires compromising your values or hurting yourself or others. It uplifts, inspires, and reminds you of your incredible potential.So silence the doubter within and crank up the volume on your inner truth. The world needs your greatness – shine on.Gifs from giphy
Single Life This Single Is Ready To Mingle 7:30 AM Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time. -Maya Angelou This single is ready to mingle. That didn't sound fabulous, did it? I felt douchey and juvenile saying that. But before you judge me, know my story: I have been single for a long time now. It was a choice I deliberately made. I allowed myself to feel ALL the emotions that bitter ending brought. Grief, disappointment, frustration, pain of betrayal, confusion, unforgiveness, grudge, angst, wrath, denial, depression, and what-have-yous were my constant companions. You see, I believe that all people were born good. So everyone for me deserves a chance. It's disappointing and frustrating to be yet again proven wrong. What's left to believe in? I closed my door to everyone who tried to woo me. I thought I would be unfair to them. I wanted to heal myself completely first. All throughout that roller coaster of emotions, I was battling to forgive. Difficult is an understatement. Imagine feeling vindictive while telling yourself, "I want to forgive. This is not me; angry, bitter, unforgiving. I want to be me again; happy, optimistic, hopeful. So today, I decide to forgive," at the same time? It got kind of bipolar-ish for a while there. My emotions was the tale of the two wolves for some time. But it was so difficult because as much as I wanted to feed the good wolf, the evil wolf was quicker and stronger. Most of the time, I lost the battle and succumbed to the evil one. I allowed it to consume me. It was becoming a cycle. But the stubborn kid in me won't allow one heartbreak to destroy my entire life. That was not who I was born to be. I deserve more than that. It got easier through time. Or maybe I just got stronger. Either way, I learned to love myself in the truest sense. I allowed myself to be happy again. I helped myself. Because let's face it. No matter how many books you read, no matter how wise the advice you receive from people, if you won't help yourself, no one else would. So I smartened up. I shifted the energy and attention I spent unleashing anger into fulfilling activities. I tried new things that I never thought I would dare do. I spent more time with the people who value and appreciate me, drinking up all the love they offer to fill up my emptying love tank. I allowed myself to be angry with God because I felt He did not protect me enough. Then again, it was not His decision in the first place. It was my recklessness which I so shamelessly blame on Him. I came to my senses and made my peace with Him. After all the blaming, the questioning and the hating, guess what He did? He didn't even make me take all the steps towards Him. He ran towards me when He saw me approaching. He embraced me. No questions, no reprimanding, no "I told you so". He accepted me back and loved me as if I have never sinned. He is a prodigal Father. I got so busy being happy again. I got preoccupied thinking, planning and acting to show my love to myself. I am terribly at peace with myself and with everything that's happening around me I forgot that I must share this love and this beautiful life with someone. Sure, there is no need for that if I am already okay with how my life is turning out. But somehow, I feel a nudge, a pull towards this path again. I feel like I have to continue the quest of finding the elusive one---the one. I think I've given myself more than enough room to breathe, to grow and to bounce back. I think my love tank is full enough that I won't be putting myself and the other person's life in misery by acting like a selfish, hungry, demanding toddler. I feel like I'm whole enough and ready to share my wholeness with another whole person. Because I believe that a happy relationship is made of two happy individuals, not by two miserable souls seeking for someone to make them happy. I don't know what surprises this year holds for me. I have plans but I know that God's plans will still prevail. I'm wise enough now to accept it whatever it will be because never had I proven that my plans are better than His. I'm putting everything on His caring hands as I step out the doors I once closed...single and ready to mingle. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
