Guest Blogger On A Happier Note 6:51 AM You are as happy as you decide to be. Guest blog by Chelsea. “She just wants you to make money since you are 24.” Who said this? My youngest sister of course. What was she doing besides subjecting me to ageism? She was using human reasoning to define me and God’s supernatural plan for my life. It was a day like that that I wish I would have said this to her: The Purpose Pusher The sad reality is that human beings today (you and me included) tend to think that if we had money, all our problems would be solved. Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve played the lottery a few times hoping to win it big. Yet, unlike so many others, my intentions were for good. If I won the lottery, most of what I won would not be spent on myself. I would try to pay off my parents’ house, fix it up, and give them a vacation for just the two of them. I would donate the rest to help out those who need it most (charities and worthwhile people who legitimately deserve a helping hand). Of course, I believe if I won the lottery there would be enough for all this because after all, my winning the lottery would be because my heavenly Father deemed it the appropriate time for me to come into that level of a harvest. Yet, even though I’m 24 years old and without steady income, I’m happier than I ever have been in my whole life. I bet you just read that above statement and looked at the computer screen and screamed: I mean my life is far from perfect or what I deem to be perfection in my eyes but I finally feel free. I work as a freelance writer for two companies currently and I also intern with a publisher doing public relations for authors. On the anniversary of Dr. King declaring his dream in one of the most inspiring speeches of all time, I also planted a stake in the field of dreams for my life and the goals I want to achieve. One of which is to become an author of multiple best-selling novels so I launched the site in order to expand my platform as an author. Yet, it also was a way for me to create opportunity in the area (and my dream career field) of public relations. Therefore, The Smart Cookie Philes was born. Yet, in the past five months since it was launched, I’ve never seen something grow into such a fruitful venture in my life, and I have only been paid about less than $100 for any sponsored work via the site. My point is this: Money doesn’t equal happiness because happiness isn’t external; it’s 100% internal. The only plausible reason my site is becoming a booming career venture is because: Another reason is because I’ve let the joy of the Lord be my strength. Family members (God bless their little hearts) may not understand what it means to be a remote professional, a freelance writer, or even a post-graduate who still lives with her parents. Yet, that’s totally okay. Why? Because I trust God. And I choose to enjoy my life every day. I’ve been reading Joyce Meyer’s newest book, Overload, which talks about freeing yourself from the pressures of stress, and so far, I find it to be one of Joyce’s best books yet (this coming from someone who has probably read at least thirty to forty of Joyce’s other titles in the span of three years so I may be a bit biased). In it, she mentions that, And a great attitude to take with you on this journey called life is “I’m not where I need to be but thank God I’m not where I used to be. I’m okay and I’m on my way!” I may not yet be a five star publicist or a best-selling author or even the most booked freelance writer but that’s okay. I serve a God who is limitless: Genesis 18:14: Is anything too hard for the Lord? No! Numbers 11:23(The MSG): God answered Moses, “So, do you think I can’t take care of you? You’ll see soon enough whether what I say happens for you or not.” And lastly, a verse that I read and said a thousand times before just became seen with fresh eyes, Matthew 19:26: With men, this is impossible. But WITH GOD, all things are possible (emphasis mine). A key point I want you to take away from this whole piece is that you can be extraordinarily happy while living an ordinary, everyday life. Expecting life to be one long series of exciting events is setting yourself up for disappointment, which ends up increasing stress levels and stealing your joy! Decide to be content and live life as it comes. Until next time, remember: Photo credit: Google Images (Tumblr) About the author: Chelsea DeVries Jesus Lover. 24 year old witty writer/poet/blogger. The Smart Cookie. I tend to see the best in people. Hoping to defend the media's greatest targets when I become a publicist. Saint Leo University graduate. Dog lover. Daydreamer. Believer. Child-like spirit. Hugger. Flower Child. Child of the One True King Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Dating 8 Ways To Keep The Love Alive When You're Past The Romantic Stage 7:25 AM Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors, and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing. -Anais Nin The honeymoon stage of a relationship is truly magical. The surprises, sweet gestures, and basking in each other's presence keep the happy hormones flowing. However, change happens as time goes by.In many cases, the romance begins to fade, and the frequency of dates and surprises diminishes. Even passion can dwindle. So how do you keep the love alive when you're past the romantic stage? Here are eight ways to keep the music playing! 1. Have open and honest communication.Maintaining strong and effective communication is crucial for keeping the love alive in a relationship, especially when you have moved past the romantic stage. Here are some tips to enhance communication and nurture your connection:Create a Safe and Judgment-Free Space: Foster an environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or criticism. Instead, encourage open dialogue and active listening.Practice Active Listening: When your partner is speaking, give them your full attention. Avoid interrupting or formulating a response while they are still talking. Instead, focus on understanding their perspective and emotions. Show empathy and validate their feelings.Express Yourself Clearly and Honestly: Be transparent about your thoughts, needs, and desires. Clearly communicate your expectations and concerns. Avoid assuming your partner can read your mind or understand your unspoken needs. Instead, be open and direct in your communication.Use "I" Statements: When discussing sensitive topics or expressing dissatisfaction, use "I" statements to convey your emotions and experiences. For example, say, "I feel hurt when..." instead of blaming or accusing with, "You always..." This helps avoid defensiveness and fosters a more productive conversation.Practice Non-Verbal Communication: Communication is not limited to words alone. Pay attention to non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These can provide valuable insights into your partner's emotions and feelings.Be Mindful of Timing: Choose the right time and place for meaningful discussions. For example, avoid having serious conversations when one or both of you are tired, stressed, or distracted. Instead, find a calm and neutral environment where you can focus on the exchange.Seek Compromise and Find Solutions Together: Remember that effective communication involves finding common ground and working towards solutions that benefit both partners. Approach conflicts as opportunities for growth and understanding rather than battles to be won.Practice Regular Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time to check in with each other about the state of the relationship, individual needs, and any potential issues that may have arisen. This can be done through regular conversations, weekly date nights, or even relationship counseling if needed.Show Appreciation and Gratitude: Express gratitude for your partner's efforts, support, and love. Acknowledge and appreciate their contributions to the relationship. Small gestures of appreciation can go a long way in nurturing love and strengthening your bond.Be Patient and Understanding: Recognize that maintaining effective communication takes effort and practice. Be patient with each other and understand that it may take time to fully understand and address each other's needs. Be willing to learn and grow together.Remember that your partner is not a mind reader, even if you share a special connection. So be willing to keep your foundation strong by communicating your needs and making your partner feel they're heard and matter. 2. Protect secrets.The value of trust is paramount in a relationship. Consider it an honor if your partner confides in you, whether it be a childhood memory, a fear, or an aspiration. Their decision to open up and share a part of themselves is a testament to their trust in you. Make it your mission to protect them when they're most vulnerable. Never use their secrets as a weapon to hurt them.These seemingly small gestures are of utmost importance and contribute significantly to the strength of your relationship even when romance is not at its peak. 3. Value commitments.Reliability and dependability are critical components of a solid relationship. So, first, let your partner know they can count on you. Then, follow through on your word in everyday situations. If you've promised to take care of something, fulfill that commitment. Something as simple as calling them when you agreed, doing your part in the household chores religiously, or keeping your date nights sacred are seemingly insignificant actions. But they can bolster the bond between partners and demonstrate reliability.4. Say sorry and mean it.Inevitably, there will be instances where you unintentionally hurt your partners with your words or actions. When this happens, it is crucial to apologize right away. Saying "sorry" is insufficient; you must genuinely feel remorse and avoid becoming defensive. More importantly, avoid committing the same mistake again. Continuing harmful behavior towards your partner after apologizing can erode trust and ultimately lead to the end of your relationship. It is essential to recognize the impact of your actions and take responsibility for them if you want to maintain a healthy and fulfilling partnership.5. Forgive.Forgiveness plays a pivotal role in maintaining a healthy relationship. If your partner has hurt you and sincerely apologizes, wholeheartedly forgive them. Holding grudges only creates further negativity and tension. Remember, we are all human; even the most compatible and compassionate individuals may have disagreements. Love keeps no record of wrongs. -1 Corinthians 13:16. Have some time apart.Maintaining a balance between time spent together and time spent apart is crucial. While it's important to enjoy each other's company to keep the love alive, having separate interests and friendships is equally vital. Maintaining individual hobbies and social circles brings freshness and excitement to the relationship. Being together constantly can lead to feelings of suffocation. However, finding the right balance and carving out quality time for each other is essential. Here are some strategies to help you achieve this balance:Prioritize and Schedule: Make spending quality time together a priority by scheduling dedicated time in your calendars. This could be date nights, weekend getaways, or simply setting aside uninterrupted time each day to connect and bond. Treat this time as sacred and non-negotiable.Communicate and Coordinate: Openly communicate with your partner about your needs for alone time or pursuing personal interests. For example, discuss and coordinate your schedules to ensure you can engage in activities or hobbies you enjoy.Respect Personal Boundaries: Understand and respect each other's need for personal space and alone time. Recognize that time apart can be beneficial for individual growth, self-reflection, and recharging. Support each other in pursuing solo activities or spending time with friends.Engage in Shared Interests: Find activities you enjoy and can do together. This allows you to bond and have quality time while engaging in shared hobbies, such as cooking, walking, or watching a series together.Encourage Independence: Encourage and support each other's individual interests and passions. Embrace the idea that maintaining a sense of self is important for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Pursue activities or hobbies independently that bring you joy and fulfillment.Establish Rituals or Routines: Create rituals or routines that allow you to connect and spend time together consistently. This could be a weekly date night, a morning coffee ritual, or a shared activity before bedtime. These rituals provide a sense of stability and togetherness.Embrace Quality Over Quantity: It's not just about the amount of time you spend together but the quality of that time. Make the most of your time by being fully present, engaged, and attentive to each other. Focus on building meaningful connections and creating shared memories.Foster Trust and Independence: Building a solid foundation of trust in your relationship allows both partners to feel secure and comfortable when spending time apart. Trust that your partner values the relationship and respects the boundaries you establish for personal time.Regularly Reassess and Adjust: Periodically evaluate how you balance time together and apart. Check-in with each other to ensure that both of you feel satisfied and fulfilled. Adjust your routines and schedules as needed to maintain a healthy balance.7. Appreciate each other.We all seek approval and reassurance from those we love. However, appreciating each other is crucial in keeping the love alive, especially as you move past the romantic stage of a relationship. Here are some ways to cultivate appreciation:Be grateful: Take the time to express gratitude for your partner and what they do for you. Let them know how much you appreciate their efforts, support, and presence in your life. A simple "thank you" can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and loved.Focus on Strengths and Qualities: Acknowledge and appreciate your partner's strengths, talents, and unique qualities. Let them know what you admire about them and why you feel lucky to have them in your life. Celebrate their achievements and personal growth.Notice the Little Things: Pay attention to the small gestures and acts of kindness your partner does for you or others. It could be making you a cup of coffee in the morning, leaving a sweet note, or helping with household chores. Express your appreciation for these little things that often go unnoticed but contribute to the strength of your relationship.Show Affection and Physical Touch: Physical touch is vital for expressing appreciation and love. Show affection through hugs, kisses, cuddling, and holding hands. Physical contact can create a sense of closeness and reinforce your emotional connection. In addition, it will keep things spicy and exciting, igniting the embers of love even when you're past the romantic stage.Quality Time and Presence: Make an effort to spend quality time together without distractions. Put away phones, turn off the TV, and truly engage with each other. Be fully present, actively listen, and participate in activities you enjoy. This undivided attention demonstrates that you value and cherish your time together.Surprise and Delight: Plan surprises or small acts of kindness to show your partner that you are thinking of them. It could be bringing home their favorite treat, planning a surprise date night, or leaving little love notes for them to find. These unexpected gestures help keep the romance and excitement alive.Compliment and Encourage: Offer genuine compliments and encouragement to uplift your partner. Acknowledge their efforts, achievements, and personal growth. Let them know you believe in their abilities and support their dreams and aspirations.Support Each Other's Well-Being: Show appreciation by supporting your partner's physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Encourage healthy habits, listen to their concerns, and provide a safe space to express their thoughts and feelings. Be their cheerleader and source of comfort during challenging times.Celebrate Milestones and Special Moments: Take the time to celebrate important milestones, anniversaries, and memorable moments in your relationship. Create meaningful traditions and rituals that allow you to reflect on your journey together and appreciate how far you've come.Practice Active Appreciation: Make it a habit to express gratitude and appreciation regularly, not just on special occasions. Cultivate a mindset of recognizing and valuing your partner's and your relationship's positive aspects.8. Rekindle the romance.Rekindling romance is possible even when you have moved past the initial romantic stage of a relationship. Here are some ways to reignite the spark and bring back the romance:Plan Surprise Dates or Getaways: Surprise your partner with a special date or weekend getaway. Plan activities or outings that you know they will enjoy. Breaking the routine and injecting new experiences into your relationship can create a sense of excitement and adventure.Bring Back Romantic Gestures: Recall the romantic gestures you used to do early in the relationship and reintroduce them. For example, write love letters, leave sweet notes, or send romantic text messages throughout the day. Small gestures can make a significant impact in rekindling the romance.Create a Romantic Atmosphere: Set the mood for romance by creating a cozy and romantic atmosphere. Light candles, play soft music and prepare a special meal together. Transforming your space into a romantic haven can evoke intimacy and closeness.Engage in Shared Activities: Rediscover shared interests and engage in activities you enjoy. It could be taking a dance class, cooking together, hiking, or engaging in a new hobby. Sharing experiences and creating new memories can reignite the connection between you.Physical Intimacy and Affection: Prioritize physical intimacy and affection in your relationship. Kiss, cuddle, and hold hands. Make time for intimate moments and explore ways to enhance your physical connection. Physical touch can rekindle passion and desire.Prioritize Quality Time: Set aside dedicated quality time for each other. Put away distractions such as phones or work and genuinely focus on each other. Engage in deep conversations, share your dreams and aspirations, and actively listen to your partner. This undivided attention strengthens the emotional bond.Surprise Gifts or Gestures: Surprise your partner with thoughtful gifts or gestures that show you care. It could be their favorite book, a handwritten love poem, or planning a surprise outing. These unexpected acts of love can reignite feelings of excitement and appreciation.Explore New Experiences Together: Step outside your comfort zone and try new things together. Take up a new hobby, adventure, or explore a new city. The shared excitement and exploration can reignite the sense of discovery and bring back the thrill of being together.Rekindling romance takes effort from both sides. However, with time and dedication, you can reignite the flame and bring back the romance in your lives.Keep the Love AliveBoth partners seek and require validation, which can be achieved through trust and reciprocity. It's essential to recognize that this is a natural progression, as all couples experience these phases.A solid and lasting relationship is tested through various ups and downs. The pillars of respect, trust, commitment, and love are tested. Remember that romance evolves beyond candlelit dinners and boxes of chocolates and transforms into a deep sense of respect and understanding for one another.Work towards maintaining excitement and freshness in your relationship by keeping the love alive even when you're past the romantic stage.How do you keep the flame of love burning brightly in your relationship?
Faith 7 Stages of Moving On: A Dreamer’s Triumphant Journey Back to Wholeness 7:00 AM Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. -Louise Erdrich I know heartbreak all too well. I know how it is losing your drive, crying yourself to sleep each night, waking up to a big gaping whole in your heart, helpless. Gutted. The struggle is real. Needless to say, I know about moving on as well. Here's another wounded healer who's been through that same dream-shattering, life-changing, colorful road to share his own journey. Reading his story proved to me that we are never alone. At one point, we've all been in that same place...together. May this give you hope and courage too: 7 Stages of Moving On: A Dreamer’s Triumphant Journey Back to Wholeness I’ve spent years chasing my dreams, turning my ambitious thoughts into beautiful things. I donned medals of academic rewards, earned certificates that attest to my competencies, obtained the trust of key people in their respective domains of expertise, and conquered worlds that gave me a rightful place. I’ve surpassed seemingly insurmountable challenges and with these, I have learned so much. I resolved that as a dreamer, I would never fall in love. I spent a great deal of conscious effort to guard my feelings because I know it is my greatest weakness. Then it came. Nothing has ever prepared me for this. I fell in love deeply. I’ve been hurt badly. Pain and Denial My heartbreak was like a giant tidal wave that came crushing over me. The whole world collapsed before my eyes. I felt defeated and helpless. Until now, I couldn’t find the exact words to explain the gravity of my pain. All I ever wanted was to make the pain go away...faster! It was very hard for me to see things beyond my pain. There were many questions that I begged answers for and the worst part of it all was that I denied myself of the reality. I convinced myself that my love just needed time and space to think things over and we would be together again. Lost and Shattered As the reality of my broken heart sank in my stricken mind, I found myself in the middle of nowhere. I didn't know how to proceed with my life. I lost my direction. I suddenly stopped doing my routine. I lost interest in the things that I used to find pleasure in. To top it all, I gave up my recent career promotion which resulted to financial difficulties. I wanted to protect myself from further pain so I shut my world, disconnected from life, and lived in darkness. Emotional Paralysis It was the stage when my heart became cold and hard. I was so focused on my pain that I became very insensitive to the needs and feelings of others. I felt lonely. I trusted nobody. I did not allow anyone to comfort me. It was as if the colors of life have faded away. Every comforting word fell on my deaf ears. Bitterness was everything I could taste. Prisoner of the Past I couldn't remember how long have I been a prisoner of the memories that I couldn't let go. I always saw my object of affection in everything I set my eyes on. Even when I closed my eyes, a vision of my beloved haunted me in my dreams. I kept loving this person so much; yet, I wasn’t receiving the treatment that I deserve. I was out of my mind! The Awakening I could still recall those lonely mornings when I wondered what I was waking up to. I dreaded the time between sunrise and sunset because I knew I was going to put up another exhausting battle with my emotions. One time, I happened to see my naked self on the full length mirror. I shuddered at seeing my appearance. This is no longer me! I realized that my life was going nowhere; that I was wasting so much time wallowing with my pain; that I've allowed myself to suffer terribly; that I needed to be kind to myself; that I needed to give myself a chance to be happy! Discernment and Acceptance It’s important to reflect on the desires of our heart before we engage in any relationship. If you're intention is to find someone to “complete” you, then you're setting yourself up to failure. The one you'll find might just be as broken as you are. Two hurt people coming together to find happiness isn’t a good start of a romantic relationship. In my case, at least, this is true. I didn't realize that I was already broken before I even entered the relationship. This is where I’ve gone wrong. It only made sense to me now after I've graciously accepted my pain. It put me to the right perspective that my struggle had a meaning. God allowed things to fall apart so certain family relationships would be restored. My heartbreak led me to rediscover a lot of things about myself, including my faith. I realized that fixing my broken relationship with God is the key to having a happy relationship with people. Relaunching My Spiritual Life When I surrendered my brokenness to God, my path to healing has started. More blessings initially disguised by pain have been unleashed. I'm closer now with my family. I’ve also found a new rewarding career that meets my learning and financial expectations. Sometimes, I think that I'm better off to be just on my own, with my God who truly completes me. About the author: Jayson Santos is a spiritual seeker, a dreamer, and a runner. On his blog, The Dreamer Writes, he devotes a special section called Dear Love, where he writes and collects stories, poems, unsent letters, love notes, and all other messages of joy and sorrow from a heart that faithfully loves. Read more of his writings by visiting his blog or following his Google+ page. You can also follow him on Twitter at @jaysonsnts. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Fashion & Style Fashion Rules You Should Break Immediately 8:00 AM Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. -Marilyn Monroe When it comes to fashion, the rules aren't set in stone. That's what makes fashion fun. Here's some words of wisdom and helpful tips from a fashion editor to guide us through breaking fashion rules we've always known and obediently followed: Whoever said living in the world of beauty isn’t hard lied. The truth is, being under constant pressure to look good, dress well, have good manners, be cool but not too cool, stand out but not too much, follow trends but still stay unique can pretty much mess with your head. Are we right? We are, and you know it! Beauty is a wonderful thing, in all aspects of life – on people’s faces, on their clothes, in their minds, in the embrace of their loved ones, and their workstations – there’s probably nothing as stimulating as a brilliant mind dressed in a brilliant ensemble that oozes confidence and vigor. Still, no matter how much we deny it – we are all slaves to what is expected of us, one way or another. So, we say – break a few rules here and there, surprise with unpredictable behavior and daring choices, make decisions nobody would expect you to and dare try something new! If you are looking to switch up your style a bit, we are giving you some ideas on how to do just that. Fashion Rules You Should Break Immediately Sneakers and smart clothes Even though we were thought sneakers should never leave the gym, truth is – they can look pretty cool! Looking sloppy isn’t a prerequisite of giving your feet a break but rather to combining styles not many people would dare to. The trick to making them look awesome on you is to ditch the socks and wear your sneaks with crisp button-down, cropped pants! To add a bit of drama, rely on a coat for a polished look. Not wearing undergarments For long, the stigma of undergarments was a big no-no in the fashion world. However, with the body-con dresses and the hourglass much loved shape, getting the right piece of undergarments is an absolute must! Brands like Leonisa are super hot for quite some time now, so start from there. They are 100% celebrity approved! Navy and black While at first glance not complementary at all, navy and black actually agree so well together! There’s a sort of mystique about these two joined in an outfit, and even more so when they are complementing one another through accessorize like scarves, earrings, hairbands, coats, etc. Make sure you make it look intentional and not as an outfit put together in a dark room where all dark colors are alike. The result of this awesome combo will be a very flattering and slimming combination. Denim on denim Whaaaaat? Of course you’ll start wearing denim on denim, effective immediately! Sure, Britney and Justin in their denim ensemble did leave us with a bitter taste in our mouths but that doesn’t mean we’re still on that! With new fashion icons like Kim Kardashian (and all of her sisters) as well as Hollywood glamazons like Gwen Stefani, Gigi Hadid, Kate Hudson, and plenty others it’s proven that double denim can look amazing! A denim shirt tucked into fitted pencil skirt or cropped jeans make room for a bold statement coat. If you want to avoid the “sameness” of the outfit, try mixing different shades of denim. Not wearing blazers and suits For some reasons, girls have been indoctrinated for years that male-inspired clothes simply aren’t their fit. Ha! Wrong! There’s rarely something as sexy as a girl or a woman in a fitted blazer or a custom made suit that enhances her figure while at the same time keeping her look professional and smart! Wearing faux fur The popular opinion is that faux fur tends to look cheap which is why fashionistas around the world aren’t supporting this trend. However, thanks to all of the fabulous new and very realistic versions we’ve got on shelves, faux fur looks better than ever! On top of that – like you would ever wear a dead animal on your back?! Make your outfit irresistible by opting for a faux fur scarf or collar in a natural color and it will add a special vibe to your single-colored outfit. Gold and silver – never? Ridiculous. These two combine amazingly together. Try it, you won’t regret it! All photos from guest blogger Cristina About the author: Cristina Nika is an aspiring blogger from Sydney. She likes to get lost in the world of fashion, beauty and healthy lifestyle. She has an insight in variety of subjects and has a strong interest in mindful living, drinks excessive amounts of coffee and ginger ale, collects flip-flops and loves to take long walks around Manly beach. Follow Cristina on Twitter. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Guest Blogger Ultimate 30 While In Your 30’s Checklist 8:00 AM Just because you’re grown up and then some doesn’t mean settling into the doldrums of predictability. Surprise people. Surprise yourself. -Victoria Moran If you’re freaking out because it’s as though you’re just aging but you’ve accomplished nothing, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Guest blogger Ifeoma of Purposeful and Meaningful will show you how to age or more appropriately, how to handle your big 3-0 gracefully: Turning 30 or in your 30’s and have read a lot of ‘before 30 bucket list’? How does that feel? Mixed emotions? Interesting that it means a lot to us approaching 30 or in our 30’s. If you’re like me, you may have written a list you wish to accomplish before you reach this milestone. Pressure builds when friends and family remind you of the things in your life that aren’t working or unaccomplished. I don’t like that pressure. Do you? Don’t let others insist their dreams on you. Relax. Write your own checklist. Give yourself grace if they don’t go as planned. Here’s mine: Ultimate 30 While In Your 30’s Checklist Learn something new often. Make it count. Be serious about building your financial life. Move to somewhere new especially when you’ve been there too long. New places come with fresh ideas and new friends. Live simpler. Less whining, more grace. Get a better job or change careers if you’re not happy anymore. Get over fear, and venture into a new career. Redesign your home. Find new home design inspirations. Up your game. Dress better, speak better. Carriage is important to boost self-confidence. Books are worthy investments. Invest in them. Visit new places; try their dishes. You never can tell what goodies abound. Ask your friends to describe you in “One Word”. True friends would tell you who you are even if you don’t like to hear the truth. Never give up on your dreams and passion. Miracles still happen. Write your life history to see how God has been faithful. It’s a game-changer. Married? Go on vacation alone. Re-examine your life. Are you lost caring for everyone else but yourself? If there’s anything worth committing to, it’s your spiritual life. It’s the foundation for every area of your life. Be intentional. Invest time growing your relationships. Take time each week to appreciate nature. Write an appreciation list, a gratitude journal, or your thankful list with people who’ve been there for you. Write a forgiveness list; all the people your heart needs to release including yourself and your past. Write a help list. Extend kindness to someone on your list. Make a friendship list. Old friends are great, new friends are fun but you need a blend of both. Write positive notes each week to glean your thoughts to focus. Attitude matters. Laugh more, smile more, pray more, and believe more. Be joyful. Social media may be stifling your real-life connections. Do a recheck. Health is important. Take it very seriously. Join a gym, dance club, and take regular walks. Join positive online communities. Sign up with my sweet friend Lux on About life And Love and come chat with me on Purposeful and Meaningful. Volunteer. Get involved in community projects. Make goals. Plan better. Find a mentor. Mentor someone. Write a living list and avoid a bucket list that works you up. I’m giving you this as a compliment. See and use mine as a template, and fill in yours! Download Living List. Excellent, right? Now your turn...what’s on your ultimate 30 while in your 30's list? What advice can you share? About the author: Ifeoma Samuel is happily married to her sweetheart Obiora Samuel. She is an author, a blogger, and a Speaker at various women conferences in South Africa. She uses her writings to share everyday life stories about God's immense love. She is the author of My 30 Days Journey To a Fulfilled Life. Visit her blog Purposeful And Meaningful and follow her on Pinterest | Google+ | Facebook
Faith 4 Things To Do When Faced With Difficult Times 8:00 AM We all have our stories of pain and difficult times. How our story ends though is up to us. What are the things you do when you're faced with difficult times? Here's what Charmaine did: Almost ten months ago, my mother was diagnosed with late stage cervical cancer. The diagnosis didn’t just turn her life around but mine, too. The past ten months have been really rough. When I look back, I’m in awe of how we managed to survive. I can’t help but wonder at how merciful, faithful and gracious God has always been; He enabled us to make it through each painful and trying day. I don’t know what you’re going through. Maybe someone you love is currently fighting the same battle my mother is faced. Maybe you’re dealing with an unspeakable pain nobody understands, no matter how much you try. The bottom line is: we’re tired. We carry burdens every day but our shoulders aren’t that strong. Our hearts are about to faint. Some of us are near the end of the rope. What do we do? 4 Things To Do When Faced With Difficult Times We Hold On To Our Faith Hebrews 11:1 states “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Based on this, faith is two things. First, it’s confidence in what we hope for. For me, it means putting my confidence in what God said over what my eyes see. It means hoping on God’s promises despite what my circumstances. It means getting up on days you’d rather stay in bed, smiling on days you want to cry, and continue with your life like you’re carrying nothing because God is faithful to you every step of the way. We Rest In God’s Feet When we wake up to difficult circumstances, we shouldn’t busy ourselves, trying to figure out how we’ll make it through our trouble. Instead, we sit at Jesus’ feet and receive from Him. It doesn’t mean that we should stop working. Resting in God’s feet means we honor our quality time with Him. We continue to seek Him so our minds get renewed and we see our situation from His perspective; not from our limited sight. This way, we are not only renewed, we are encouraged and revived. We Trust In God’s Will We don’t always understand God’s will. Some things happen which we can’t comprehend. Maybe in your struggle, you asked God why. I did. I often ask Him why He allowed cancer to strike and debilitate my mother. As I seek Him, I understand that when God leads us to deeper waters, we can be assured that He has His reasons. We can trust in the knowledge that our circumstances are going to be for our good and for His glory. We Stay In His Love The truth is, either my mother will be cured of cancer or she will die of it or of something else. I struggled with accepting this fact before. But now, I already understand God’s purpose. It’s still painful and I can’t even imagine how painful it’s going to be if my greatest fear happens instead of my greatest hope. Whatever happens, I know God will give me the grace to stay in His love. Whatever it is you’re dealing with, if you trust Him and you surrender your life to Him, I’m positive He will do the same for you, too. About the author: Charmaine is the founder and editor-in-chief of inspirational blog Organized Lunacy. She’s in a mission to spread inspiration and motivation to people who can use some. Join her in her journey in spreading love and hope to make this world a better place to live in.
Dating 10 Signs Your Partner Is A Man-Child And Not A Man 11:00 AM Manhood is defined and decided by the ability to nurture and to protect, by the capability to provide and sustain. -C. JoyBell C. It's easy to shrug off some flaws and accept someone out of love. But what if it's a glaring red flag, and you're in danger of not only sabotaging the relationship but also destroying yourself in the process? What if your partner is not the man you thought he was? Tracey Clayton gives a clear and concise explanation in knowing the difference between a man and a man-child. I hope you enjoy learning from her article as much as I did. 10 Signs Your Partner Is A Man-Child And Not A Man It is known that men are slow to mature compared to women. It is also said that men are ‘children inside’. But as much fun as it may seem to have a male child by your side, it can sometimes get irritating. When in a relationship, we tend to notice details that show us that he is still ‘green’ and on the long road to maturity. It’s not the same as being in a relationship with a guy who can show his inner child and with a child who only appears to be an adult. If you observe him carefully, you can see for yourself what group your partner belongs to. Photo: mannaexpressonline.com 1. No control over his financesA mature man recognizes the importance of money and knows he should have a budget to live peacefully. If you barely make ends meet and in the end, it is you who pay the bills; if he doesn’t know what he spent the money on and you have fights due to his lack of financial responsibility too often...It's time to think about where your relationship is going. 2. His mom is always aroundYou can tell much about a man based on his relationship with his mother. If he always has to have his mother’s food, has his mom wash his clothes, calls her all the time, and vice versa...It means that he hasn’t stopped being her baby. You need a man who is aware of the importance of loving and respecting his mom while also remaining aware that he can step into adult life independently. actionagogo.com 3. His priorities haven’t changedWhen men are young, they have a lot of fun, risky, and crazy ideas about their future. Eventually, their priorities should change, and they should start thinking about a safe future, settling down, and being independent. It will be easy to realize whether he has already become a grown man or he’s still a teenager, something that wouldn’t suit you in the slightest. 4. Partying as if he were 18Women enjoy going out at weekends and having some fun with their partners while keeping their composure. We do not like to be forced to keep watch to prevent our partners from making a scandal in front of people. Or to prevent trouble, men can cause when they are with a group of friends and under the influence of alcohol. If we will be babysitting, we better do it back home. 5. He fears commitment A mature man is aware of everything involved in having a serious relationship. Especially about spending enough time together. Commitment does not only refer to marriage but also to the respect people involved should have for each other.If your partner constantly avoids the topic of your future together or acts as if he were single, better think again about dating him. Photo: workopolis.com 6. They do not know how to express what they feel We all know that some men find it hard to verbalize what they are thinking or feeling.A mature guy at least tries to. Maturity implies the ability to recognize oneself, to say what bothers you, and to tell that to the other person to avoid possible hurt. Being with a man with a poker face is frustrating and exhausting. 7. Completely ignoring his personal appearance Picture this:You have an appointment and pick out your best suit for the occasion. Here comes your man in old, ripped jeans and a wrinkled shirt. Horrible!Everyone has a personal style, but you can tell a lot about a man if he at least cares about his appearance. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t feel happy to walk hand in hand with a man who looks friendly and presentable. 8. They don’t accept their mistakes Saying ‘sorry’ signifies that the man you're dating is mature enough to admit mistakes. They accept that those mistakes can have some serious consequences. No relationship is perfect. If he thinks he's never guilty and tries to belittle you for being upset, the damage to your relationship can be severe.9. Collecting toysThere’s nothing wrong with being passionate about something. But if your partner constantly spends money on insignificant things like:new video gamespopular bobbleheads he rarely takes out of the packagingor tiny cars that he just can’t get enough of, etc. Then his adulthood is definitely in question.This kind of behavior points to certain psychological problems that your partner (or both of you) needs to deal with as soon as possible. Photo: funko.com 10. His childish things are the most important in the world If you’re not allowed to touch his precious books or ‘play’ with his toy cars...If you got yelled at just because you moved one of his things to a different spot...There’s definitely something wrong with your relationship. You should at least try to talk about it and dig the root of this issue. Irresponsible and immature behavior is a sign of emotional instability. It's nice to nurture the child in you, but if your guy is more of a boy than a man all the time, it can be challenging. Remember, sometimes you need to accept that your relationship harms you and that it is perfectly OK to seek happiness. Breaking up with someone because he’s childish is not always the right answer. But you should aspire to find a way to make it work.Seek help. And please, never ignore the red flags. About the author: Tracey Clayton is a full-time mom of three girls. She loves cooking, baking, sewing, and spending quality time with her daughters, and she’s passionate about writing. She contributes to High Style Life, whose motto is: “Live the life you love, love the life you live.” Find her on Facebook and Twitter.
