by the capability to provide and sustain.
-C. JoyBell C.
It's easy to shrug off some flaws and accept someone out of love.
But what if it's a glaring red flag, and you're in danger of not only sabotaging the relationship but also destroying yourself in the process?
What if your partner is not the man you thought he was?
Tracey Clayton gives a clear and concise explanation in knowing the difference between a man and a man-child.
I hope you enjoy learning from her article as much as I did.
10 Signs Your Partner Is A Man-Child And Not A Man
It is known that men are slow to mature compared to women. It is also said that men are ‘children inside’.
But as much fun as it may seem to have a male child by your side, it can sometimes get irritating.
When in a relationship, we tend to notice details that show us that he is still ‘green’ and on the long road to maturity.
It’s not the same as being in a relationship with a guy who can show his inner child and with a child who only appears to be an adult.
If you observe him carefully, you can see for yourself what group your partner belongs to.
Photo: mannaexpressonline.com
1. No control over his finances
A mature man recognizes the importance of money and knows he should have a budget to live peacefully.
If you barely make ends meet and in the end, it is you who pay the bills; if he doesn’t know what he spent the money on and you have fights due to his lack of financial responsibility too often...
It's time to think about where your relationship is going.
2. His mom is always around
You can tell much about a man based on his relationship with his mother.
If he always has to have his mother’s food, has his mom wash his clothes, calls her all the time, and vice versa...
It means that he hasn’t stopped being her baby.
You need a man who is aware of the importance of loving and respecting his mom while also remaining aware that he can step into adult life independently.
3. His priorities haven’t changed
When men are young, they have a lot of fun, risky, and crazy ideas about their future.
Eventually, their priorities should change, and they should start thinking about a safe future, settling down, and being independent.
It will be easy to realize whether he has already become a grown man or he’s still a teenager, something that wouldn’t suit you in the slightest.
4. Partying as if he were 18
Women enjoy going out at weekends and having some fun with their partners while keeping their composure.
We do not like to be forced to keep watch to prevent our partners from making a scandal in front of people.
Or to prevent trouble, men can cause when they are with a group of friends and under the influence of alcohol.
If we will be babysitting, we better do it back home.
5. He fears commitment
A mature man is aware of everything involved in having a serious relationship. Especially about spending enough time together.
Commitment does not only refer to marriage but also to the respect people involved should have for each other.
If your partner constantly avoids the topic of your future together or acts as if he were single, better think again about dating him.
Photo: workopolis.com
6. They do not know how to express what they feel
We all know that some men find it hard to verbalize what they are thinking or feeling.
A mature guy at least tries to.
Maturity implies the ability to recognize oneself, to say what bothers you, and to tell that to the other person to avoid possible hurt.
Being with a man with a poker face is frustrating and exhausting.
7. Completely ignoring his personal appearance
Picture this:
You have an appointment and pick out your best suit for the occasion.
Here comes your man in old, ripped jeans and a wrinkled shirt.
Horrible!
Everyone has a personal style, but you can tell a lot about a man if he at least cares about his appearance.
Don’t tell me you wouldn’t feel happy to walk hand in hand with a man who looks friendly and presentable.
8. They don’t accept their mistakes
Saying ‘sorry’ signifies that the man you're dating is mature enough to admit mistakes.
They accept that those mistakes can have some serious consequences.
No relationship is perfect.
If he thinks he's never guilty and tries to belittle you for being upset, the damage to your relationship can be severe.
9. Collecting toys
There’s nothing wrong with being passionate about something.
But if your partner constantly spends money on insignificant things like:
- new video games
- popular bobbleheads he rarely takes out of the packaging
- or tiny cars that he just can’t get enough of, etc.
Then his adulthood is definitely in question.
This kind of behavior points to certain psychological problems that your partner (or both of you) needs to deal with as soon as possible.
Photo: funko.com
10. His childish things are the most important in the world
If you’re not allowed to touch his precious books or ‘play’ with his toy cars...
If you got yelled at just because you moved one of his things to a different spot...
There’s definitely something wrong with your relationship. You should at least try to talk about it and dig the root of this issue.
Irresponsible and immature behavior is a sign of emotional instability.
It's nice to nurture the child in you, but if your guy is more of a boy than a man all the time, it can be challenging.
Remember, sometimes you need to accept that your relationship harms you and that it is perfectly OK to seek happiness.
Breaking up with someone because he’s childish is not always the right answer.
But you should aspire to find a way to make it work.
Seek help. And please, never ignore the red flags.
About the author:
78 comments
Oh dear, please consider that we men are very simple mechanisms. When we express how we feel, it is inevitable that we leave something --sometimes lots of things-- out. We say we are sorry, we apologize, when we cannot express ourselves. We apologize most sincerely when there is an argument with the one we love and we know we are right. I am not certain how long it will take for us to become as complex as those we adore --women-- perhaps only a few million more years of evolution, but we are doing our best and deserve some credit. I commend you upon raising the subject.
ReplyDeleteThat's huge!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, there are a lot of baby-men than mature men out there.
I love this post :) My man collecting little things and his box is HUGE and full :))
ReplyDeleteOh this is such good stuff, so wise ... and sadly so necessary.
ReplyDeleteMay we be so discerning before we marry that we don't have to face a lifetime of childish, self-focused behavior.
I think more women need to look closer at the men they are with... I want a man who can have fun but still be responsible... I do not want a man who doesn't know how to grow up a little... we are adults, we just don't have to act like old adults xox
ReplyDeleteI've known these kinds of guys. Very sad, but mostly they seem happy until they are old and wonder what happened.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
I think that everyone goes through the stage where they act like your list. The trick is to wait until they have matured enough to move past that stage. One thing I did notice was the "Mama's" boy. While a man should be on his own I watch how a man treats his mother. That is the way he will treat his wife. If he expects her to take care of him you will have to take care of him. If he is kind to her and sees to her needs without expecting something from her he is probably a man worth knowing.
ReplyDeleteMost of these are a given that men are immature, but I have to say the one about expressing feelings is hard for a man. It helps to explain feelings are different than thinking thoughts. Also, the one about toys.....they do love them, even the redeemed men! lol.
ReplyDeleteI would advise that being nerdy isn't exactly being a man-child. I know a guy in his forties who has star wars, comics, harry potter, etc stuff all over his house. But he's a respected supervisor in his company and has a wife and two kids from that marriage.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post! :)
ReplyDeleteFlorals&Smiles
I think I am not a man-child. :-P I hope! Haha
ReplyDeletehaha great post.... I dont have a boyfriend yet and i dont wish him to be a man-child :p
ReplyDeleteA really interesting read - we hear a lot about guys being a man-child but I do think that some women who are with sugar-daddies also act like children ;-)
ReplyDeleteSuze | LuxuryColumnist
good one :D mine is for sure a man child, lol
ReplyDeletehave a good day!
Haha...great post dear 😀
ReplyDeletehttp://freshfacebeauty.in
Great stuff! I think my partner is mature, however, it can be pretty annoying to have his mom calling him every day and vice versa, and then telling you how you should take care of him.... Aaaaaaaaa!!! ahahha
ReplyDeleteI invite you to read my latest post QUICK GUIDE TO GILI ISLANDS
http://www.travelekspert.com/2015/08/quick-guide-to-gili-islands.html
These pictures make me laugh. All very good points!
ReplyDeleteShauna
www.lipglossandlace.net
I have to think maneuvering manhood can be difficult. I wouldn't want to be in my husband's shoes...no wonder he has such big shoulders! Certainly, as a couple, facing the music of these ten can be daunting. But when God begins to peel the layers that cause the actions, life changes for both husband and wife, and it's good. Thanks Lux and Tracey for sharing space and words today. www.kristiwoods.net
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I think I am no longer a child!
ReplyDeleteLimbo Delirium
Black & White Abstracts
A post I wish I would have read 15 years ago! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat Post, i love it :) Amazing Work!
ReplyDeletelovely Greets
In today's world, i think, most of the guys are like that. It's very rare to see a man that's really serious of being a man. I hope girls cuold read this actually coz for most girls nowadays, looook really does make a way big in their relationship.
ReplyDeleteAs a man, it's really important for me as a Christian to be Christlike, also a woman that's also fearing the Lord. I think, that somes it all. Find a partner that just like you, fears the Lord too, and everything will fall fit. :)
----------------
I also nominated you for an award. Here's the URL: http://stevevhan.blogspot.com/2015/09/random-thoughts.html
In looking for a relationship that leads to marriage, do not settle for an unbeliever - period. Keep involved in your church, Bible study groups and Christian singles. Then eliminate the children from the men. I learned early there are some things a Man must have - - be it a hobby in our case (music and instruments) or working on cars, enjoying certain books etc.
ReplyDeleteI try to never begrudge when he orders things that add to our enjoyment (even if it something I would not have ordered.) It is NOT worth the hassle to make negative comments when your man is happy with what he has done. Let live and he will allow you he same privileges. I must add to his, do not date a man who drinks alcoholic beverages or takes drugs. You can not fix a man who does those things. Thanks for sharing with us here at Tell me a Story..
I think one should spend a lot of time with a partner before committing to a relationship and be able to see the person in many different scenarios, this will make it easier to see who the person really is. :)
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that I finally found the right kind of man and that so did my daughter! She and her hubby celebrated 15 years this weekend and above all they are really good friends. He is both a great dad and husband.
ReplyDeleteBoys will be boys.
ReplyDeleteDear Lux, I may have mentioned this before, forgive me if I have, but almost every time I click to open About Life and Love my face breaks into a smile. I think it is because I admire your courage to take on the tough topics and “tell it like it is.” Although Tracey is a guest, and an excellent writer, I must say, she has a strong argument for this post’s topic. Being the male that I am, I have to listen carefully to what she says, and I must admit, she is right-on with much of it. Ahhhh, what would life be if without the challenge of getting along with others? I hope Tracey reads the comments to see my Thank You for her contribution. Speaking of thanks, I want to thank YOU for your kind comments on my blog. I appreciate them and look forward to them. To answer your question, the header photo of Seattle is a photo I took during the summer from a view point not too far from home that overlooks the city. I used it for a few posts, but coincidentally just changed it this morning for one that I made up from my Alaska trip. I hope you will like it as well. I do hope that someday you will check off an Alaska cruise from your bucket list. And, should you decide to sail out of Seattle, it would be a pleasure to be of any help to you that I could provide. Thanks again and I wish you the best until next time.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your lovely comment :)
Deletelol. true
ReplyDeleteThank you for your wonderful comment on my earlier post :)
Here’s my new post The Striking one Come Have a look :)
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Akanksha
I was with a man like this once. Very cool blog, I hope you will check out mine too sometime.
ReplyDeleteM xx | Lois Lennon
Hahahha Loved this post!
ReplyDeletehttp://helderschicplace.blogspot.com/2015/09/plaid.html
I didn't know there were men-children around, but yes, sometimes it does take them a while to mature and I guess some of them might even reach the adult phase without this happening. Pretty scary to think of that, actually DD:
ReplyDeleteSuch an interesting topic, Tracey! And the trouble is our culture is full of these men and sadly women too. I am glad that you are challenging those who have not yet married to be wise about who they continue to date. But I see a lot of these kinds of married couples in my ministry, often because the wife thought she could "grow" her husband up with marriage. But it seems to have the opposite effect in time. Thanks also to Lux for sharing this insightful word!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Beth :)
Deletejajajaj So funny
ReplyDeletekisses
Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog
Great article! I have two adult sons and thankfully they do not have the qualities listed above. They both have God in their lives which makes all the difference. Thank you for this post.
ReplyDeleteIs really to run out if you find someone who have the same things in one
ReplyDeleteMelange-Boutique Blog by Noe&Lolita
Couldn't agree more.. Thank you for reconfirming my gut feelings :)
ReplyDeleteLatest Post.. Indian Festive Wear
My hubby doesn't have any of these traits, thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteYep , when he always has his mom around has his priorities misplaced then he's definitely a man child. great post.
ReplyDeletewww.stylenbeautylounge.com
Hi, Lux! Hi, Tracey! Adam Sandler comes to mind. He forged a successful movie career playing man-child characters. Eventually audiences got tired of his portrayals and his movies declined in popularity. It is the same in a relationship. In the beginning, immature behavior (in a man OR a woman) might seem refreshingly cute, but immature people who don't learn to accept responsibility and make a commitment are not relationship material and should be avoided.
ReplyDeleteThis was a wonderful post, wish I had read it many years ago. I'm going to mention this and send the link to some young single family members who should read this and take heed :)
ReplyDeleteWhat about blogging as a rhyming cat? Am I doomed? lmao
ReplyDeleteI've know one that has been a momma's boy since forever and he's over 30 now, very pathetic. And anyone who can't handle finances, man or woman, needs to be kicked to the curb, stat.
Omg, I have TOTALLY dated some man-children in the past, haha!
ReplyDeleteGreat read!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
I have got to watch that movie, Ted!
ReplyDeleteFortunately, I married a real man but you never really know until you're in it. We do all need a little child in us to keep the joy in life - but I've met many I wouldn't have survived a marriage with.
at times we can still get caught in time
ReplyDeleteGreat post. For a relationship to work, you both have to feel like you can rely on the other person, and if your partner is immature, then that's probably not going to be the case. The only point I disagree with is the one about video games/collecting things. A lot of those items, though they seem childish are actually collectibles that can be worth a lot of money, and I think most men play video games, regardless of their age.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
Debbie
This is great! I don't have a man right now, but when I do I'll check for these signs.
ReplyDeleteA lot of these descriptions made me laugh - others shudder!
ReplyDeletelove this film
ReplyDeletewould you like to pass from my blog?
I wish you an happy day
a big kiss
<<< fashion blogger Pamela Soluri >>>
Yup...this post has hit home. That is why I'm so careful now.
ReplyDeleteKreyola Jounerys | Instagram
I don't fully agree with this article since I think someone can collect toys for an example w/o buying a man-child (and be mature in all his decisions and so on) but I do understand where the author is going to with post!
ReplyDeleteN- Naomi in Wonderland
I think we all need to let the inner child in us run free while still being the adult and responsible. We forget to have fun as we grow up but as this article is pointing to, some forget to grow up - while others forget to have fun.
ReplyDelete;)
ReplyDeleteGostei do post. Ainda bem que não se encaixou no perfil do meu namorado!
Ótima sexta!
Beijo! ^^
Good insights. Inside most men there is a little boy. Some grow up, some don't.
ReplyDeleteTried to think and in the end I am convinced that I am not a man-child. (Hahahaha)
ReplyDeleteBTW nice post...
I agree with those statements! I haven't read the book, but I'd get it one day. Because now I am the child in our relationship, and honestly, I don't know how this boy is still with me.
ReplyDeleteGreat post :)
ReplyDeleteHa! These are all awesome and so true!
ReplyDeleteThis is something to think about Lux. Your lists keep drawing me back here! Funny isn't it? I look forward to your next topics.
ReplyDeleteBlessings friend
As a man/bloke/fella/dude I loved this post. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
Please show us some mercy :p
ReplyDeleteJokes apart, very interesting post. Loved it :-)
Hahaha what a fun post- I especially agree about always having the mum around.
ReplyDeleteI think it's getting worse...especially for moms who have one child and he's a son. Moms HAVE to back off and not coddle their sons...coddling leads to a lifetime of problems. Mostly, I just found when I was single that many of the weird men I met who just came across as wimpy and insecure to women were coddled by their moms growing up (and usually STILL coddled by them--in their 30s!).
ReplyDeleteThis post is awesome! I'm so glad my partner doesn't tick any of these boxes :)
ReplyDeleteRachel xx
http://www.thedailyluxe.net
Hahahah I want my boyfriend to read this!
ReplyDeleteLove this! <3
ReplyDeletexoxo;
STYLEFORMANKIND.COM
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Cute post!
ReplyDeleteHave a nice week!
Photographe Gil Zetbase
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This post is very funny, i like it.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thestylegalaxy.com/
Oh yes these are red flags surely and one we shouldn't ignore...Not to be taken lightly at all..
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. I think the biggest flag is the commitment issue. If there is no commitment, there is definitely no maturity or care for the person they are with. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for all your lovely messages and comments… I really appreciate it! :))
ReplyDeleteI'm ok. Seems like my man has grown up ok and my sons too.
ReplyDeleteBahahaha!! This post made me laugh out loud. Thankfully my husband no longer fits these characteristics! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteIndeed, these are things to be aware of before getting into a relationship, thankfully, I married a real MAN, and how thankful I am for it :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Great post. I will share this with my friends who are married. Time to step up a notch.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your "childish man" has autistic tendencies. It Doesn't mean he's to blame. If you wanna talk about annoying things a certain gender often does. We are about to open a whole can of worms. Spoiler alert, Its not men.
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