I am no damsel in distress.
Too many of us are waiting.
I get it. I really do.
The world can feel overwhelming sometimes.
We scroll through social media, watch romantic movies, and somewhere deep down, a voice whispers that maybe someone else holds the key to our happiness.
Maybe if we just wait long enough, the right person will sweep in and make everything better.
But here's what I've learned:
You are the author of your own story.
No fairy godmother is coming. No magic spell will transform your life overnight.
The person who can truly rescue you from whatever darkness you're facing? That person is already here. She's been here all along.
As Mandy Hale beautifully puts it: "Design a life so amazing that you don't want to be rescued from it."
Because when you fall in love with your own journey, when you find joy in small moments, courage in challenges, and beauty in your everyday experiences, something magical happens.
You stop being someone who needs saving and become someone worth knowing.
You attract people who want to walk alongside you, not carry you.
When you're living fully, you naturally draw in those who are brave enough to match your energy.
You connect with people who are secure enough to celebrate your strength, not threatened by it.
Yes, this path isn't always easy.
Some people won't understand your independence. Others might feel intimidated. But that's okay.
You're not meant for everyone, and everyone isn't meant for you.
I am no damsel in distress. I refuse to be the princess locked in a tower, waiting for a rescuer.
I'm out here building my own kingdom, fighting my own battles, discovering my own strength. I'm writing my own fairytale.
I am no damsel in distress. I don't need your armor to protect me, but I'd love for you to show me your scars and share your stories.
Tell me about the battles you've fought and the lessons you've learned.
Because the truth is, we're all wounded warriors in our own right.
And maybe, just maybe, we can heal together while staying whole on our own.
Warrior: No Damsel Song
Here's a song that echoes my sentiments as someone who's not a damsel in distress.
Read the original I Am No Damsel In Distress I wrote on Thought Catalog in 2014.
67 comments
Unfortunately, some knights in shining armor are just fools wrapped in tin foil.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Lux. And that reply is just perfect.
DeleteNice photo :) M&MFASHIONBITES mmfashionbites.blogspot.gr
ReplyDeleteYou surely don't look like you are in distress with that sword in hand.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in that era that I was taught I needed to be rescued... I know I don't need that but I sure would love to have someone share my kingdom... it can get a little lonely sometimes ♡
ReplyDeleteYou're an incredibly strong woman Lux!
ReplyDeleteXx,
Nilu Yuleena
BIG hair LOUD mouth
You and I are much alike. If you're miserable a man isn't going to change that. It will just add their drama to the mix. Sharing life with someone is a good thing, but it's not what makes you you. I was single for many years and enjoyed that very much. Then one day hubby just was there. He'd been there all the time, I just hadn't noticed. The biggest thing was I wasn't looking and that's how I ended up with my soul mate.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
Such a great post..so inspirational!
ReplyDeletehttp://ourruins.com
Go girl! Great motivation!
ReplyDeleteBaci,
Coco et La vie en rose - Valeria Arizzi
It's true - we have to be our own knights. Tell you what, though: it's great to meet another knight to go riding around the country with, doing good deeds and rescuing people ;) I'm mostly joking, but I DO love having my partner in crime.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely! One of my favourite quotes is "She needed a hero, so that's what she became"
ReplyDeleteFashionably,
Patricia
http://www.wingsforliberty.com/
Excellent post and attitude. I once read "happiness is an inside job" and it pretty much is. Happy people attract happy people.
ReplyDeleteYES YES YES. I am a strong, powerful, and independent woman. I don't need a man to save me. In fact, I would actually be pretty upset if a man tried to always swoop in and figure things out for me. I need to do it on my own okay? I hate that in popular culture that's always the big ideal and it's so misogynistic. Women are not less than beings.
ReplyDeleteI love how you look at life! I met my boyfriend at a point in my life when I wasn't looking for anything and was so content on my own. You are a bad ass!
ReplyDeleteXX, SS || A Little Seersucker Sass
Exactly! I have a T shirt that says: Self-rescuing princess on it.
ReplyDeleteHi Lux, Interesing, but your last two paragraphs seem contradictory. Welcome, but then rejection? I doubt any man is going to mistake you for a princess needing rescuing. :-)
ReplyDeleteWelcome if you're a real knight. Not welcome if you're just another fool wrapped in a tinfoil pretending to be someone noble. ;)
DeleteBeautiful post, really interesting...thx for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI think more and more women are realizing this. And that's good. You have to be happy with yourself.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeletewww.alessandrastyle.com
Good one.
ReplyDelete****I am no damsel in distress.****
ReplyDeleteYes.
Such a empowering statement!!!!
Great shot and narrative too.
ReplyDeleteVery powerful thoughts here, sista! :-)
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
So beautiful and reflexive words
ReplyDeleteMelange-Boutique Blog by Noe&Lolita
Hi Lux! Thank you for stopping by my blog today. Nice to meet you.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post! I have always believed that if I'm not happy and content within myself, then no one else can do that for me. I'm single and honestly enjoy it. However, if someone should come into my life one day, it would have to be a relationship of two wholes. Not two haves making a whole.
Some men seem to gravitate towards women who seem to need rescuing, but a secure man is happiest with a strong and secure woman.
ReplyDeleteAmen! I'm grateful I learned this early on.
ReplyDeleteI believe you, completely!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the visit :)
What a beautiful post.. We are the women of today.. Strong and Beuatiful :)
ReplyDeleteVery true indeed. If we want change we are the ones that have to do it. Screw everything else.
ReplyDeleteI've been saying it for long time - you need to be one whole person and look for another whole person to be happy with, rather than look for a half person. I'm not a half person to have another half.
ReplyDeleteWell... I met my partner a couple of years ago and this is exactly what drew me into him - neither he and me needed rescuing :)
Great post, dear!
This is beautiful! And so so true. The times in my life I struggled through alone and won have made it so I always always know I can do it myself. This just gave me lots of motivation!
ReplyDeleteAwesome. You go, girl. :)
ReplyDeletegreat post, love this picture
ReplyDeleteI wish you an happy day
<<< fashion blogger Pamela Soluri >>>
kiss
Have a lovely weekend ;)
ReplyDeleteSo so true. I know many women who hold this misconception.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteI love this post! Greatly written! You are so right!
ReplyDelete;)
ReplyDeleteSomos independentes!
Ótimo domingo!
Beijo! ^^
Gone are the days when damsels sleeps in their castle . . . . . . waiting for Mr right
ReplyDeleteLovely rallying cry to the single saint sisters out there! Glad to be your neighbor at Sunday Stillness.
ReplyDeleteI never felt I needed anyone, and yet I know that I do.
ReplyDelete/Avy
http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com
♥
Hi, dear Lux! Thank you for rescuing me from missing your latest post. :) I regret to inform you that, once again, it did not show up in my reader.
ReplyDeleteThis post imparts excellent information. The way I like to express it is as follows. When you have having fun, you don't have time to worry about your problems or what the Joneses are doing. Take care of your own business first. Get your house in order. The harder you are on yourself, in terms of self discipline and effort, the easier life tends to be on you. Success breeds success. If you are doing the kind of work you love, are doing your best to get and remain physically fit, are practicing good hygiene and grooming and maintaining a positive attitude, you will attract the right kind of people into your world.
Dear friend Lux, effective immediately, I need to take a two week break from blogging because I am moving to another city. I hope to resume blogging from my new residence the first week of April. Please take good care of yourself until I connect with you again!
I am surprised this is still something that people of both sexes seek. And yes if you are not happy with yourself and your life a mate can not change this. In fact if that is what you seek that pretty much is a formula for drama. Funny but I met and befriended so many bloggers here in NY and they are ALL married with the exception of one who just got out of college but she is in a relationship. I am the only one who is single. But among my non blogger girlfriends I can count in the double digits who are single, not married, no children, not even dating. Wonder why?
ReplyDeleteAllie of ALLIE NYC
allienyc.com
Great post Lux, so inspiring!!!
ReplyDeleteKisses, Paola.
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I definitely would not picture you as a damsel in distress, Lux :). Your words always evoke an image of a strong, independent woman. This quote is awesome: "The only thing we single ladies need to be rescued from is the notion that we need to be rescued." Amen!
ReplyDeleteI like the new title to your blog! It seems very positive and I think it suits the new direction this is heading in. As well as that, I like the idea of making a life that makes you happy YOURSELF instead of waiting around for someone to save you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for making me step back today to realize that my happiness comes from within me and it is God who leads that path. The world and the people in it should not be determining happiness or contentment. Great words! Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteThis is definately a very inspiring post to read! x x
ReplyDeletewww.beyondthevelvet.blogspot.co.uk
This is so true. There is nothing better then self motivation.
ReplyDeleteHi sweetie
ReplyDeleteI agree with you!
Very inspiring post
Kisses
Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog
So amazing love this :D
ReplyDeleteFlorals&Smiles
Twitter
I love this! The heroines in my stories are just like this. ;) And I guess I'm like this too. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's true - we have to be our own knights. I don't understand why people base their entire life on someone? I mean, "she needed a hero, so she became one!"
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Love this post! I prefer to be the knight rather than the damsel. :)
ReplyDeleteyou have a great attitude!! terrific post!
ReplyDeleteLove this attitude! And I so agree. I don't need to be rescued. I can rescue myself.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this! I hate damsels in distress, too, because I am definitely not one! That is why I like Ever After's version of Cinderella, when she saved herself and did not need the prince to do it.
ReplyDeleteAmen! A well written post and keep those witches and evil step-moms in line!
ReplyDeleteVery nice post Lux, we ladies need to learn to take charge of our lives. And even when we are married, we also need to llearn to remain relatively independent
ReplyDeleteWell said! We don't need rescuing- but it is nice to share our world with people we enjoy. :) Loved this!
ReplyDelete~Jess
I can fight my own battles. Yes, I can :)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with this post. Empowered women can move the world.
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You just make me smile, girl!
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Thanks for the post, it's very interesting.
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