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The Best Things That Happened In My 30's

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But the thirties are a specially dangerous time for women. They have outlived the shyness and restraints of girlhood, and not attained to the caution and discretion of middle age. They are reckless, and consciously or unconsciously on the lookout for adventure. They see ahead of them the end of youth, and that quickens their pace.
-Rose Macaulay



The Best Things That Happened In My 30's


Acceptance

I got comfortable in my own skin. I grew up with insecurities. Although they're not that many and I never allowed myself to be envious of anyone (thou shalt not covet, right?), I still went through that phase of not liking what I see in the mirror.

In my 20's, I started to appreciate myself more and accepted my flaws. It's only now that I'm in my 30's though that I can honestly say I don't give a damn about what people think about how I look anymore. I am so much comfortable in my own skin now. And that's very liberating.


Freedom

Speaking of liberty, I can freely express my feelings without fear. I was once oppressed and never really heard (hello, middle child syndrome), and I was always criticized and laughed at when I express my views. So I settled on not saying how I really feel or what I really think. I guess that's why I was always sick before. Thanks to writing and thanks to well, life experiences, I have now found my voice and am not afraid to use it.

I am genuinely happy regardless of my relationship status, wherever I am, and just as sincerely happy for others. I don't think you can fake happiness for too long. It's either you're really happy or stop pretending that you are.

And I couldn't care less about stereotyping of women especially women past their 20's. That's freedom right there.



Better version

I've been through hell and back and I've never been better. My pruning stage may not be over yet in my 30's but I can say I've emerged better than I first step into this stage.

Believe it or not, I only started using makeup when I reached my thirties. I guess you can say I'm a late bloomer.


Abundance

I used to be laughed at because I'm very practical and frugal. I don't buy branded clothes and I seldom buy gadgets. I only do when what I have dies on me. I follow frugal tips I read. Funny thing is that instead of feeling deprived, I feel freer. Maybe the thought that I am actually buying myself a better and more secured future keeps me from feeling inadequate. When those people who laugh at my frugal ways run out of cash, do you know who they turn to? Me.


Empathy

I am more empathetic now to those suffering from heartbreak, loss, loneliness, confusion and dilemma. Because on my way to my 30's, I went through them too.

I know what I love, what I want, what I need. I can clearly see what my desires are, I can better hear what my heart whispers.


I can sum this up by saying the best thing to happen on my 30's is knowing myself more than I did years ago. In knowing myself I've learned what I deserve and to take better care of myself, love myself more, and accept me for who I am.

I have learned that happily ever after indeed happens to everyone. We just make our own version of it. Sometimes we don't recognize it because it's different from what we expect and from what we see in others but it does happen. It took me 3 decades to finally see this beautiful truth but it's worth the journey.

At your age, what has been the best thing to happen to you?



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84 comments

  1. Dear Lux, I smiled when you said, "I still went through that phase of not liking what I see in the mirror." You know, I've been reading About Life and Love for a while now and your writing reveals how beautiful you are on the inside. Your profile picture says the same for the outside. You have no worries with mirrors! :-) I liked it when you said, "either be really happy or stop pretending that you are." I think I was about your age when I learned the wisdom in that. But now, I'm about twice that old, and so I had to smile again when I thought your title for the third topic was "Better VISION." :-) See, that's what happens when you get a lot older! :-) Actually, I did just finish cataract surgery to improve my vision and for anyone who worries about that ... don't. The surgery is almost universally successful and the vision is improved wonderfully! Lux, this is another excellent post. Thank you for sharing!

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  2. And each decade gets better. I'm not sure when they start to get worse again (I'm in my 60s and it rocks), but I'm enjoying life very much.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  3. I can truly say I don't care what anyone thinks of me as I realize that I don't look at others and judge them... it is funny how I thought people did at one time... there are a few that do but I feel sorry for those people, I know that is their insecurities ... I actually feel sad for them... There are so many things we can learn from growing, the most important thing I think we can learn is to enjoy each day and live your dreams xox

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  4. So beautifully and intricately you have penned this topic! I love being in my 30s as I have already seen and felt that freedom and daring attitude that developed in me after I stepped into 30 something.
    We can become so much ourselves in this phase of life and I'm loving this "new" me already:)
    Thank you for this awesome post Dear. Very motivating.
    xoxo
    Epsita | www.thepositivewindow.com

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  5. Love this post and while reading it I was nodding my head in total agreement!

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  6. Verdade! E pode reparar... As mãos sempre acabam denunciando nossa idade!

    Lendo o seu post comecei a pensar nas melhores coisas que já me aconteceram até agora (tenho 25 anos). Pensei na hora em mil coisas negativas, mas foi complicado de achar coisas realmente boas!

    Ótima segunda!

    Beijo! ^^

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  7. Great post, freedom and acceptance are very important
    www.alessandrastyle.com

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  8. Hi, dear Luxie!

    This is another great topic. I will be 67 this year and, believe it or not, I am still learning the lessons outlined here. I am still in the process of letting go of things that prevent me from experiencing peace of mind, such as caring too much about what people think of me, caring too much about what other people have achieved, the material goods they have accumulated, their fame, power and social status. I am still learning to be frugal, take care of myself and love and accept myself. It's true. The more you let go, the greater your sense of freedom.

    Thank you, dear friend Lux!

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  9. very interesting article dear
    I'd love to know your opinion on my new post
    ----> fashion blogger italia
    have an happy day
    kiss

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  10. Loved your 30's experience Lux.. hope a decade later i'd also learn to grow out of my insecurities... :)

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  11. lovely introspective post. In my fifties life still has ups and downs, just different challenges, I keep plugging away, perhaps I now have more financial security which is a big deal kind of, certainly not the most important thing.

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  12. Thank you for this post. I'm excited... and scared to turn 30 :)

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  13. Good to read your best things happened in your 30s! Me too running thirties and hope best things happen~

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  14. I think it would be the ease of being myself and not bothering to please anyone..learning to give space and have a life of my own in the midst of my family..

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  15. I could not have found this post at a better time, in fact funnily enough your post was just before mine on the 'share the joy linky' my post was called 1 Week To 30: A Look Back On My Twenties. I turn 30 on Friday and have been rather apprehensive about it, reading this post has made me feel so positive about my impending change of age. I'm really looking forward to my thirties now....#sharethejoy

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  16. Great post - I feel the same with accepting yourself in your 30's, it's like a shift in how you see things and I found it more positive than in my 20's. So lovely to find your blog via #candidcuddles xx

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  17. I loved reading your this article! and thank you for sharing your experience, I will keep in mind and will compare with me once will reach this age. Liuba x

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  18. I think you have done really well, I think I was 40 before I hit this stage, it is indeed liberating, though I am now aware of everything sagging and wonder why I didn't appreciate what I had more in my 20s! #sharethejoy

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  19. Now, after crossing the border of the big 5, lots of lessons I have learned and picked up as well. Those experiences have also taught me to move on positively and continue learning.

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  20. Stopping by from the Testimony Tuesday link-up. I've discovered that once a woman passes 50 our lips seem to disappear so lipstick is a must :)

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  21. I am actually afraid of going 30s but one thing that I really want is to accept myself as the way it is. I think the way I perceive thing should be changed too, so I hope in a better way :)

    www.thequinoxfashion.com

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  22. Hmm, the opening quote to this blog post is so thought-provoking, I'd never seen the 'thirties' in that light before! The idea of total acceptance is a lovely one, and I'm so pleased you've attained that :) Also, I just love the gif used for 'abundance', very appropriately timed after saying 'me'' haha! This really was such a lovely post, particularly with your reassurance of happily ever afters happening for everyone, just in different forms :)

    aglassofice.com
    x

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  23. Getting older can be very liberating. I am in my 60s now, my body is not as agile or as pleasing - to some - as it used to be, but I have never been happier.

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  24. I turned the big 3-0 back in January and noted a few small but big changes. Mostly to do with appearance and accepting how I am and look. It's literally just happened over night which I still look back as bizarre. I've struggled with this my whole life and now I don't really give a s***. I've also noticed this with my friends too. Maybe it's something we grow into at this age point. I'm also extremely proud of who I've become. I too have been through hell and back (still being dragged back and forth) and it's made me who I am. And that is a person who is way more empathetic and kind and someone who doesn't tolerate drama!

    Sxx
    www.daringcoco.com

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  25. I was actually dreading getting closer to 30, but this post shows this age in such a positive and inspiring light

    Rachel xx
    http://www.thedailyluxe.net

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  26. Love this! Thinking about it now, I have never felt more feminine and beautiful until I reached my 30's! I used to have so many insecurities in the past but the older I get, the more I've come to love myself!

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  27. You seem so happy person! Don't ever let smile get off your face ♥

    Claudia, xx
    www.thewhiteprint.blogspot.com

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  28. Ooo I love that quote! I think it's very true. I'm 37 now & can appreciate so much of what you have said in this post. I think it is a freeing time for women. Thanks so much for sharing with #candidcuddles x

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  29. Hi Lux ... you're so right ... one of the best gifts we give ourselves is being comfortable in our own skin. That you've been able to embrace that in your 30s is sheer grace.

    It takes most of us even longer.

    Loved your thoughts ...

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  30. I can vaguely remember being in my 30s!

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  31. HI! Stopping over from #TellHisStory. Girl-I've never been more alive. Thirties are were it is at. I am yelling back to my twenty-something friends..saying come on! It's fun over here! Have a wonderful, wonderful day! - Courtney

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  32. I too have loved my 30's. I have grown so much as a person. The statement about making our own happily ever after could not hold more truth. Thanks so much for linking at Waiting on...Wednesday!

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  33. Hi Lux G!

    I'm new to your blog. It's so lovely. But I've one question: How did you amass all of that wisdom and you're only in your 30's? I'm still waiting for some of those light-bulb awareness moments to happen to me. Any who, I'm so happy for you. Keep up the good work - but save some revelation for your 40's and 50's. :o) I was your neighbor today over at Coffee for your heart. Have a great week!

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  34. This is an amazing writing of yours, you have shed some positivism, every person's journey might be different but we can all relate to some of the most things.

    Aly In Wanderland | ^_^ | alyinwanderland.com xx Alyssa

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  35. It's great to have someone put into words the process! I think so many of us are going through these same things, and remembering that and feeling great about it is freeing!

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  36. Great post. I think I was very happy with myself already in my teens. I began to accept myself before anyone else did. :-)

    Greetings from London.

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  37. all of this. i see a direct relationship between giving no f*cks and age; as in the older you get the less f*cks you give. i'm 40 so i have no more left to give! it's quite liberating :)

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  38. your posts are so positive that make me rethink about how I feel about certain things...Really inspiring post :)

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  39. As someone who is turning 31 in a few weeks...looking forward to these benefits this decade. :)

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  40. Wow...a wonderfully inspiring post!
    It appears I was a late developer though...I didn't really begin to feel happy with who I was until I hit my early fifties! lol
    Still...as they say..."better late than never!";)

    A really great post! :))

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  41. I love this post! Entering my mid thirties kind of slammed me this year and I've had to make myself take stock of all the good things about it. This is definitely a great list! A few of which I'm still working on :)

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  42. I just love this! I just turned 29, and reading your blog has me excited for what's to come. The older I get, the more I've come to love myself and not worry too much about what others think.

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  43. Love this! I loved my 30's too. I love being comfortable with myself. As a teen it was awful. so thankful to be done with those years. :)

    @spreadingJOY
    spreading-joy.org

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  44. Great to know about all those experiences...I felt really the same when get 30
    Melange-Boutique Blog || Instgram

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  45. couldn't agree with this more, it's so much different than our 20s but we don't realize until we're right in it.

    Simply Shaunacey

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  46. I love this. Especially the bit about abundance. I don't feel chained to my things. Or my desire for the latest this or that. I see news stories about people waiting in line to buy a new gadget and I just don't get it. It's such a wonderful thing to not feel like you need stuff.

    I've learned and continuously reiterated that you can't please everyone. I do me. My own thing. To make me, and the people I care about happy. And I just don't worry about the rest.

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  47. Dear Luz, each decade is a milestone in life. Being 30 is a place where you discover you are more free than you thought you were. 40 was my best birthday ever. My family threw me a party and it was my last real Birthday party. In life the best decision you will ever make is to follow close to Jesus and the Direction of God's Word, the Bible. Peace will be your treasure and others will respect you and the love you show. Your Identity in knowing Christ will be the ticket to success in life. Thank you for sharing your sweet heart with us here at Tell me a Story.

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  48. It seems like in your thirties you went through a lot that changed the way you were as a person and developed you. It must have been hard to pull through those difficult times but it has made you who you are now.

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  49. Beautifully written. I am in my 60s. I am confident to be myself. Have a happy day!

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  50. I am nearing 30 and everyone keeps telling me the best is yet to come, so for my own sake I guess I'd better believe them ;-) Sure as hell beats freaking out and worrying about it.

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  51. feeling free is something great and extraordinary.

    La Flò ♡ blog

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  52. I'm truly happy that you have found happiness with yourself, it's not an easy feat and inspiring others to do the same is awesome. :)

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  53. Such authentic emotions and flow of words. I guess we all grow so much with years mentally. There are so many superficial things that become obsolete once you cross the bar.

    Loved reading your post. I still have 4-5 years to reach there, but definitely could understand your words. :)

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  54. I think as women, we definitely get more comfortable in our one skin as we get older. When I was younger, I worried about what others thought and let people use me as a door mat. Those days are long gone. I say and do what I want now, ignoring all negativity and judgment from others. It's the best thing you can do!

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  55. Freedom and acceptance <3! Hope you have a great weekend.

    Style For Mankind
    Bloglovin

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  56. Very interesting and inspiring post! =)

    NEW POST on http://whattostyle.blogspot.com/

    xoxo,
    Jessica

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  57. Reading this made me feel excited to adult. I'm 25 already but I can't consider myself matured already. I feel young still, and can't really make big decisions without the help or opinion of other people.

    I like it when you are already on the stage where you embraced your individuality. That's one thing I wanna achieve.

    Stay gold, girl.

    XO

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  58. Best thing to happen to me? At the age of 67 I am happy to say there have been a lot of best things!

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  59. Such a positive post Lux!
    Love,
    Nilu Yuleena Thapa
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

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  60. I think I wasted most of my 30s on nothing... on work which doesn't necessarily brings security and happiness :(

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  61. This are great things you have learnt for sure.Acceptance and fredom is key for sure

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  62. Awesome post, Lux! I have also found myself more empathetic to others, and I love being frugal! There's something about finding a good deal that is exhilarating! Hope you have a wonderful weekend :)

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  63. My 30s were the best!
    Happy weekend, Lux.

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  64. Amazing Post:)
    Thank you so much:)
    Happy weekend for you:)
    Ola Linda:)
    Tudo Bem?
    Adoro o Post:)
    Bom Fim De Semana:)
    i have a new post, i hope you like it:)
    http://openklosetfashion.blogspot.pt/2016/05/espaco-espelho-d-agua.html
    Instagarm:https://www.instagram.com/openklosetfashion/?hl=en

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  65. Love this Post:)
    Amazing:)
    Thank you soo much:)
    Happy Weekend for you:)
    I have new post, i hope you like
    http://openklosetfashion.blogspot.pt/2016/05/espaco-espelho-d-agua.html
    Instagarm:https://www.instagram.com/openklosetfashion/?hl=en

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  66. You are beautiful, so is every women!! One should have a beautiful heart and admire oneself. Loved this post <3

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  67. On point! This is so nice!

    ** Join Love, Beauty Bloggers on facebook. A place for beauty and fashion bloggers from all over the world to promote their latest posts!


    INSTAGRAM @BEAUTYEDITER
    BEAUTYEDITER.COM

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  68. Another wonderful share, Lux! You are truly so beautiful on the inside! Thanks for sharing these lessons you've learned along the way. I can so relate to them too, though I'm slightly older. :)

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  69. Another wonderful share, Lux! You are truly so beautiful on the inside! Thanks for sharing these lessons you've learned along the way. I can so relate to them too, though I'm slightly older. :)

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  70. Sounds like your 30's treated you pretty stinking well! <3

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  71. Wonderful post!
    Have a nice week-end!
    Gil Zetbase
    http://gilzetbase.com/

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  72. Hi Lux! I guess the most hopeful thing that I read here is how you are able to express yourself now. That is a gift that not everyone gets. And I'm still not used to wearing makeup! My mom never really did, except on special occasions, so I'm much like that.
    I hope at this point in my life I have learned that fear is a useless emotion (unless I am being chased by a bear). It's so much better to let go of that and let God carry me.
    Blessings!
    Ceil

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  73. Happy 3rd decade in life! I love the point of Acceptance as it leads to happiness. It's great that you had and have that this time of your life. More happiness for you! :)

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  74. i feel this way too about my thirties. Like you, I'm a late bloomer - only learned to care about how I dress and how to put makeup on when I reached my late twenties.I'm also more confident now and I too have learned to love my looks. I'm in my thirties and I have been able to establish a good career and I'm managing my finances better.

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  75. Wow! I love this post. Made me look back at my life and at my age, the best thing that happened to me is making decisions for my life, failing and accepting my mistakes and happy for the lessons i have learnt and still learning which is shaping the woman i am becoming.

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  76. This is the first time that I read your blog and this particular post is a real gem. I mean, I'm not yet in my 30s but I love how this post inspires those crossing the 30-mark by letting them enjoy their life and learn from it.

    I particularly like this line "instead of feeling deprived, I feel freer" when you shared your experience about being frugal.

    kuripotjournal.blogspot.com

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  77. I loved my 30s!! I got married in my 30s. I grew up finally in my 30s. My 20s?? Yuck! I was a mess!! Haha

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  78. Everything change because of the experiences we all have. It's nice to read this and look back 10 years ago when all I care about was to spend haha! We all learn .

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  79. Oh Luxxy! Insha Allah yeah.. someone once said I was a breath of Fresh air on Blogger.. But i doubt if they had met you when they said that.. Cause You are like the Ocean.. always full of soothing words, wisdom and answers. You see ehnn.. This post ehnn.. It is a Delight to read.

    I am glad to see you grow.. and mature.. oh Mehnn! I cant wait for us to Turn uP for you.. Cause trust me.. It will happen soon.. as you are a mirror of Love and Respect.. Thank you for this wonderful piece.. You make reading every word on your Blog worth it.. Amazing dont even cut it. Luxxy Rockssss :)

    Blessings :) P.S: I think i sent you a DM on IG and you didnt reply.. **Tears shirt and Cries in Anguish :)

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