Quick Answer: How Can You Become a Better Negotiator?

Negotiation isn't about conflict or a win-lose transaction; it is a fundamental life skill rooted in human connection. Wharton professor and negotiation expert Mori Taheripour suggests that the key to getting what you want is self-belief and letting go of the fear of rejection.

• Know your values: Before entering a room, understand your non-negotiables so you can keep your promises to yourself.
• Set aspirational goals: Research shows that dreaming big and aiming high naturally leads to better negotiation outcomes.
• Bring data: Objective data removes the emotion from your requests and allows you to speak "truth to power".
• Embrace silence: After stating your case, stay quiet and let the other person think instead of immediately negotiating against yourself.

Reframing Negotiation as a Life Skill

Society often conditions us—especially women—to approach negotiation from a mindset of scarcity.

We worry that asking for more means someone else loses, or that advocating for ourselves will make us appear ungrateful.

Taheripour reframes this by reminding us that negotiation is not a boardroom battle, but a daily conversation meant to help both parties reach a better mutual outcome. 

By ditching the rigid performance and showing up as your true, unscripted self, you unburden your mind and become a much better listener.

3 Steps to Prepare for Your Next Negotiation

To successfully negotiate, you must stop waiting for the "perfect moment" and start creating your own opportunities. 

Taheripour recommends a few vital steps to take before you ever sit down at the table:

• Persuade yourself first: Establish your core values and understand exactly what matters to you before you start worrying about the other party. If you cannot be your own best advocate, you cannot expect others to value you.

• Do your market research: Come armed with objective data, market price points, and a clear list of your accomplishments. This helps justify your requests logically and persuades the other party without over-explaining.

• Drop the mic and wait: Once you make your pitch, embrace the silence. Many people ruin their leverage by talking through the awkwardness and lowering their own asking price. Instead, let the other party process the information and present their counteroffer.

Watch: How to Negotiate Like a Pro | Aspire with Emma Grede

Understand that negotiation isn't about conflict; it's about recognizing your value. 

What is the 70/30 rule in negotiation?

The 70/30 rule in negotiation means you should listen about 70% of the time and talk about 30% of the time. This approach helps you gather information, understand the other side’s priorities, ask better questions, and avoid speaking too quickly. Strong negotiators usually learn more by listening than by trying to control the entire conversation.

What are the 5 C's of negotiation?

A common version of the 5 C’s of negotiation is Clarity, Communication, Collaboration, Compromise, and Commitment. Clarity means knowing your goals, communication means expressing them well, collaboration means looking for mutual value, compromise means finding a workable middle ground, and commitment means following through on the final agreement. Different trainers use slightly different versions, but these five ideas are widely used.

What is the 80/20 rule in negotiation?

The 80/20 rule in negotiation says that roughly 80% of your results often come from 20% of the issues, preparation, or tactics. In practice, this means you should identify the few points that matter most, such as price, timing, authority, or terms, and focus your energy there. It is a reminder to prioritize high-impact issues instead of getting distracted by minor details.

What are the 7 basics of negotiation?

The 7 basics of negotiation are preparation, goals, alternatives, interests, communication, bargaining, and closure. First, prepare your facts and desired outcome; second, define your goals; third, know your best alternative if no deal happens; fourth, understand both sides’ interests; fifth, communicate clearly; sixth, bargain strategically; and seventh, close with clear terms. These basics help you negotiate with more confidence and structure.

What are the 4 stages of the negotiation process?

The 4 stages of the negotiation process are preparation, discussion, bargaining, and closure. In preparation, you research and set your goals; in discussion, both sides share positions and interests; in bargaining, you make offers, counteroffers, and trade-offs; and in closure, you finalize the agreement and confirm next steps. Following these stages keeps the process organized and productive.

What are 7 ways to improve your negotiation skills?

The best ways to improve your negotiation skills are to prepare well, listen actively, ask smart questions, control your emotions, know your value, practice silence, and improve your timing. You should also research the market, define your non-negotiables, and avoid accepting the first offer too quickly. The calmer, more informed, and more intentional you are, the stronger your negotiation results will be.