For Moms

How Do You Love A Child That’s Not Easy To Love

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How Do You Love A Child That’s Not Easy To Love

Most parents love their children and always express their love in different ways. However, with love, even the best parents in the world reach their limits at times.

Maybe your child’s behavior is unacceptable, or maybe your child is different from others. You may want to love your child, but sometimes you may find it hard to accept him or her because she has congenital disabilities.

So, how do you love a child that’s not easy to love? 

How Do You Love A Child That’s Not Easy To Love

How Do You Love A Child That’s Not Easy To Love

Birth defects, which are also known as congenital anomalies, usually occur during pregnancy when the baby’s organs are developing. Most birth defects usually arise in the first 3 months of pregnancy when the organs start to form while others may arise later in pregnancy when the baby’s tissues and organs continue to grow and develop. 

The causes of most birth defects are unknown since they are caused by a complex mix of factors like genes, behaviours and environment. 

Although pregnancy usually brings a lot of joy as mothers look forward to meeting their healthy babies at the end of the nine months, sometimes things may not go as expected. In fact, recent findings show that for every 33 babies born in the United States alone, 1 is always born with birth defects. So what can you do when your baby is among the 1 in 33? 

How you can love your child that has birth defects

How you can love your child that has birth defects

When you realize that your baby has a birth defect, it can have profound effects on you and your partner after you had decided not to use any contraceptive measures so as to conceive. However, with tips and a little advice, you can get through this roller-coaster of emotions and experience. It is important for you to:

✔ Acknowledge your feelings 

It is normal to feel shocked, grieved and even angry at your baby or even at yourself. The first step in overcoming the disappointments of giving birth to a baby with defects is to accept those feelings that you feel. Once you accept them, you can talk about them with your spouse, a friend or any family member. You can also see a counselor or ask your doctor to recommend a psychologist for you. 

✔ Get support 

Getting someone who has also had a baby with birth defects and talking to her can help since you will feel better knowing that you are not alone. You can ask your doctor to let you know of any parents in the area who have had children with the same condition as yours. This will be a significant step towards accepting your child. 

✔ Celebrate your child 

Try to let yourself find happiness in your baby the same way any new parent would. You can watch for developmental milestones, cuddling and playing with your baby and sharing your happiness with friends and families. By not being embarrassed with your child, you will learn to accept her and respect her for her own character. 

✔ Educate yourself 

Learning about your child’s condition can also help you to cope with the disappointments. You can start by talking to your doctor and asking a lot of questions about your baby’s condition. This is important because it will help you know how to handle and care for your baby. You will also figure out your baby’s needs. By learning about your baby’s defects, you may realise that some defects may not be lifelong conditions hence can be treated through early treatments and therapies. 

How can you lower the chances of having your next child with birth defects? 

How can you lower the chances of having your next child with birth defects?

Most of the birth defects can be detected and treated early enough while the baby is still in your womb. When you have given birth to a baby with birth defects, your doctor should carry some tests on you to determine the cause and if it can be prevented from happening again. This is because there are many steps you can take to lower your chances of having a child with a birth defect which include: 

✔ Putting a stop to smoking. 
✔ Eat a healthy diet. 
✔ Taking folic acid each day to lower the risks of birth defects of the brain and the spinal cord. 
✔ Going for a preconception examination so that your doctor can assess your overall health and identify potential risk factors that may lead to a complicated pregnancy. 


According to World Health Organisation, birth defects affect around 6% of births worldwide. If by any chance your child happens to be among the 6%, you might find it hard to accept and love that baby at first. You can learn to love your baby by acknowledging the things you can’t change and accepting your baby the way she is. 

As a mother, you should dedicate yourself to giving your baby unconditional love even when it is difficult to do that. 

About the author:
My name is Kristi and I’m the mother of 3 beautiful angels, founder of This blog was created in order to share experiences baby care, health care for pregnant women. You can find many interesting insights. Problems – Solved!

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  1. ;D

    Bem útil o seu post!

    Ótimo domingo!

    Beijo! ^^

  2. I tend to think of parenting as giving unconditional love. There are lots of challenges that come with it alright. These are great tips on how to cope should one find themselves in this situation. Celebrating the kid is key.

    1. Hi,
      Thank you for your sweet compliment :D

  3. Beautiful post! <3

  4. Not easy, but as parents we must learn to love any child despite if he or she is not perfectly made.

    1. Hi Nava,
      There is no doubt about it that…

  5. Excellent post! I am glad that there are some people who initiate to bring such sensitive issues to the fore and let others know what needs to be done in such conditions.

  6. Lovely post dear! Have a great week! xx

  7. Not easy for sure, thanks for sharing!

  8. Wow this is awesome Gay! This is really informative. In our world today where children is neglected and sometimes dumped in trash after abortion, people need this kind of information really!

    I missed your blog too! I'm back!


  9. I think it'll be really hard for a parent to accept this. It's just my own opinion since I am not a parent. But with my experience with my mom, no matter what birth defect or anything that isn't supposed to be there, a parent will still love his or her child. No matter what, cos that's just how they are.

  10. Interesting!!!

    Have a nice evening!
    Photographer Gil Zetbase

  11. These are some wonderful tips! I know I don't need them myself, but when it comes to people in general, I think they can also apply on a larger scale...

  12. Wow truly such a beautiful article. I felt so close and good while reading this post- just as a mother and a parent. Such motivating tips to help those parents.
    Thank You for this awesome post.

  13. What a beautiful and encouraging message for all those mothers who face this difficult journey. Thanks for sharing Kristi with us, Lux!