Lux Thinking Aloud

My Name And Its Meaning

5:37 AM

My Name And Its Meaning
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose 
By any other name would smell as sweet.  
-Romeo and Juliet

The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge
Day 10: Google the meaning of your name and talk about how it fits or doesn't fit you

I don't have to Google my name to know its meaning.

My parents made it clear to me ever since. It means I'm the lucky charm and that everyone were happy around the time I was born since it was when something great happened to the family.

I'm going to focus instead on the nickname most people call me.

It started during college when some of my closest friends would call me by it (I just tweaked the spelling); Lux.

At first I didn't know it means anything (but it's simpler and I like the sound of it) until my priest friend told me. "Lux" is Latin for "light". Ahhh, now we're talking.

I've always been optimistic. I always look at the bright side. Sure, there were times when my light has been taken away from me temporarily.

Like when everything I believed in turned out to be a big hairy ugly lie.

Or when what I hoped for never came to pass. Or when I got so hurt the ugly beast of hatred and grudge sleeping inside me woke up and roared too loud for too long. Oh, it was a struggle.

Yet despite the pain, despite the anger, despite the sense of vindication building inside me, I chose to forgive. I was so bitter for a long time, that I admit. Despite the mess though, I chose to forgive, accept what's there and still look at the pros that came with it.

I've learned (enLIGHTened!), I've been better, I'm happy again.  

I also hope, I really try in my own way, to give light to those who need it.  It is also quite a struggle since there are a lot of toxic, difficult and also hurt people that I have to deal with. With God's grace, I've learned to let go of petty things and forgive the big offenses.  It's not magic.  It doesn't happen overnight, but I've decided to live and let live.

I believe it's a matter of choosing between believing in luck or waiting for things to happen, and deliberately living in the light, seeing clearly and freeing yourself from darkness.

I choose the latter.

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