Faith

To A Devoted Mother Who Never Left My Side

12:00 AM

When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, 
whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!
-John 19:26-27

I was baptized as Catholic, went to Catholic schools from kindergarten to college and grew up in a household observing Catholic traditions.

Having said that, you would think I was automatically a Marian devotee.

Wrong.

I wasn't. I knew her from the lessons in our Theology class. I knew she's Jesus' mother and I've been told she constantly prays for her children. I prayed the rosary because it was required. 

I didn't know her on a personal level. I never felt her presence in my life before. I even doubted her role in my Catholic faith at one point. 

Then one day I was so hurt I couldn't bring myself to pray. I didn't know what to ask or thank for. I felt all my prayers were in vain.

But my faith---or resilience made me hold on to what I believe in. That is, that all things work for good to those who love the Lord (Romans 8:28).

I don't know how exactly I survived that dark age but this I'm sure:

1. I took it one day at a time.
2. I've got an army of supporters.
3. I've got a Mother who never left my side.

When I couldn't bring myself to talk to her Son, she was there to listen.

When I couldn't seem to put an end to the pain I felt, she held me.

When I was so troubled I couldn't sleep, she comforted me until I can get some rest.

When it felt like the nightmare won't stop, she was my defender and constant companion.

When I felt like straggling from my faith, she held my hand and made sure I won't go astray.

Of course I know Jesus was there but I was so clouded by doubts and pain I didn't want to believe He exists. How can He let me suffer?

So, His devoted mom took over. 

There was a presence of motherly comfort as I cry myself to sleep every night, holding my rosary beads in silence, not really praying but just trying to be still. And in the morning, the pain did not go away magically but I always felt a bit lighter than I was feeling the night before. Like I've been embraced to healing. Like I've been showered with love. 

No non-Catholic nor non believer can convince me that Mary has nothing to do with my life after that.

Nothing compares to a mother's devotion and great love.

Happy birthday, Mama Mary. 

For sacrificing your youth to give birth to Jesus at such an early age, you taught me obedience.

For patiently walking the dusty long road to your cousin Elizabeth's place and take care of her when you had your own needs, you taught me service and selflessness.

For being silent while your Son takes the limelight, you taught me humility.

For accepting your fate and the fate of your Son no matter the consequence, you showed me trust.

For believing in your Son when He Himself felt He was not ready, you taught me to have faith in myself and in others as well.

I'm eternally grateful that God gave us a mother like you.

I love you!

photo credit: Google images

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5 comments

  1. I just finished reading The Secret Life of Bees, which talks about Mary in the same way. If you haven't read it, you might enjoy it.

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    Replies
    1. Sounds interesting. I will. Thanks for recommending.

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  2. This is so beautiful, it gave me chills. I am Catholic, too, but I'm afraid I don't give Mary as much attention as I should. I will remember to do so from now on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Elaine. Yes, please do. :)

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