Lux Thinking Aloud
Paglaki Ko, Gusto Ko Maging...12:03 AM
"Paglaki Ko, Gusto Ko Maging ___", I remember hearing this line all the time as a kid. Adults like to ask this question to children. Whatever the answer is, their reaction would always be the same ---amazement with amusement.
I still hear this "paglaki ko gusto ko maging ___" line from kids until now. I love the way their eyes light up with so much hope whenever they say this. Like they know they can do anything and nothing is impossible. They believe they can go out there and conquer the world and no one can stop them. The smiles on their faces when you tell them how amazing they are---priceless.
This line just got me wondering, how many of the young once are now living their gusto ko maging dreams. How many of those who said "Paglaki ko, gusto ko maging doctor" are M.D.s now?
To be a doctor, nurse, teacher, engineer are the common answers. So how many whatever gusto ko maging have finally naging?
I, for one did not become the teacher that I so passionately wanted when I was in grade school. My grade 2 teacher inspired me on this. She was really good in handling little tyrants. She's very understanding and patient. She spoke to us like we matter, she's a good listener. I felt her concern. She saw to it that all of us understood the lesson. I must admit though, I still have a little ember of this passion flickering in my heart.
I still want to be a teacher---a preschool teacher, and I still keep on telling myself that soon I will be. But whenever I ask myself how soon is soon, I couldn't get an answer.
I also don't know how it happened, but in one of my yearbooks (I think it's from kindergarten), I said I wanted to be a nurse.
I don't know if my teacher did not have the time to ask me and just wrote whatever she feels like writing under my name or I just forgot I said it. But no matter how many times I assess myself, I can't find it in my heart to want to become a nurse.
So, I don't know what happened back then. Must be a case of miscommunication or something.
What else were my gusto ko maging?
Paglaki Ko, Gusto Ko Maging...
1.) Paglaki ko, gusto ko maging dentist.
Yeah, I used to want to be a teeth doctor. That's before my grandmother told me a traumatizing story (although now, I'm not sure how true the story was). She said there was this one intern who forgot to inject anesthesia to a patient before extracting a tooth.
That short but morbid story was the end of my "Paglaki ko, gusto ko maging dentist" love story. Sigh. Note to adults: careful with your stories. It can change a child's heart, which in turn can change the child's destiny which changes the world in a broader sense. Don't ever forget the Butterfly Effect.
2.) Paglaki ko, gusto ko maging psychologist.
Well, I was already in high school when this ambition crossed my mind, but as one of my friends would always tell me, I barely grow an inch since the last time he saw me.
So, there. My father was the one who suggested it to me. So I said, why not? After all, I enjoy reading self-help books. I love observing and studying people; how they react to certain situations, their habits, their attitudes, etc.
I love psychoanalyzing things and I can easily put two and two together (which comes in handy when I encounter straight-faced liars). I still want to be a psychologist. I even considered taking it up as a second course. Then again, what would I do after completing the course?
So, I decided to be content with reading psychology books, taking psychological tests on line (even those "what kind of___ are you" games in the social networking sites) and blogging my observations on people for now.
3.) Paglaki ko, gusto ko maging businesswoman.
This started when I was exposed to our little business back then. I would be the one in charged on weekends, which kind of pissed me off as I wanted so much to stay at home and rest but can't.
As I was the only one who's "kind" enough to do this extra chore, I had no choice but cut my weekend rest and go out of the house earlier than when I go to school.
What always ticked me off at the beginning though, I started to enjoy as months passed. Eventually, I enjoyed speaking with people. The most fulfilling moment is when I count the money at the end of the day. Aaahhh, that feeling of holding in your hands what you've labored for during the day.
It gave me joy and made me look forward to earning more! Then I started to value every cent in my pocket. Before I spend or give to spenders (that's the role of the other family members who refuse to wake up early and help out), I think twice.
Is it really worth it? I became frugal. My mother would say I'm Chinese because I'm kuripot. Gusto ko maging businesswoman and I've got attempts to make this come true recently.
4.) Paglaki ko, gusto ko maging dermatologist.
I was so naive then I thought Dermatology is just another medical course you take like Nursing and Pharmacy. I didn't know it's a specialization for M.D.s. What discouraged me to pursue this gusto ko maging was first of all the long years I'd spend before I can accomplish it.
Second, the pictures of skin diseases I saw. Some were so severe it grossed me out. So how can I treat a patient if I was the first to barf?
Last of course is the money my father will spend sending me to school. My course was already very expensive. Add to that the med proper years and the years of internship after that. I don't think he'll be able to make both ends meet if I did follow this gusto ko maging dermatologist dream of mine.
Now that I'm an adult, there are still a lot of things that's gusto ko maging.
On top of my list is gusto ko maging stock holder/investor. It's not as complicated as it sounds but yes, it's as lucrative as you've probably heard.
Until now, gusto ko maging businesswoman has not stopped. I still want to venture into business.
Gusto ko maging work at home person too. This I already started since last year. I don't have a gig at the present but before, I was handsomely paid by my client for my part time job. It's a sacrifice on my part though as I have to stay up coming from a graveyard shift but 3-5 hours a day does not hurt if you're just sitting in front of your laptop in your pajamas.
Gusto ko maging blogger with a high traffic on my blog, gusto ko maging full time housewife (although I'm not sure if working at home can be considered as full time still), gusto ko maging part of Gawad Kalinga, building homes for the homeless and changing lives, gusto ko maging full time in helping ministries especially orphanages, gusto ko maging yogi, gusto ko maging chef or at least learn to cook gourmet.
I know some are hard to achieve given where I am now and what my priorities are but I know they're not impossible. As one song goes, "If I can see it, then I can be it".
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to see my dream board again and remind myself of the things that gusto ko maging.
How about you? Anong gusto mong maging paglaki mo?
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