Coronavirus

Lockdown Diary Day 48: Early

6:57 PM


good morning bowl on table with yellow flowers and books

After almost two months of erratic sleep, I'm finally going to bed early today. How early? 9:30 pm. Yes! I would normally be starting on my next task around this time. But, not today. What a good start of the week! I'm an early bird.


Early


My lack of sleep in the past few weeks has finally caught up with me. 

I also listened to the brilliant Marie Forleo while preparing the squash for dinner. On one of her podcast, Marie was interviewing author Robin Sharma.

They talked about the benefits of the 5 am club.


I don't have to join the club to know and understand how great it is.

Before the quarantine, I was good at waking up as early as 4 am and as late as 6 am. My alarm is always set to 5. 

When the lockdown started, my husband was staying up calling airlines and agencies. I was staying up with him. 

But also I had trouble sleeping because the sudden change and thought that we're in a crisis was waking up the anxiety demon in me.

anxious woman
Giphy

I was going through changes in my career
Dealing with a family's sickness and eventually...death
Thinking about what our future will be like now.

I can't even get a clear picture of what 2021 will look like because all I'm concerned about is how to survive thrive this 2020

Oh, what a big Queen B this year has been.

I was optimistic to welcome the new year. I had so much hope that this year would be better than last year. 

Man, 2020 must be looking at me back then like:

woman drinking tea smirking
Tenor

Tragedy after tragedy both in our personal lives and in the world. Sending my virtual hug to you if you're going through a bit of a rough patch.

After a few days of letting Sadness rule the emotions headquarters, I let Joy take over.

In case you haven't seen Inside Out, these emotions were the characters' names. Also, why haven't you yet? It's a great movie!

There was (still is) a ramble between Fear and Anger too trying to take control but ultimately, I choose Joy. I have to. For the sake of my sanity.

It's a decision I have to make on a daily basis.

emotions in upside down
PSA

Because when bad news and conspiracy theories flood my feed every day, it can get overwhelming and it's easy for Joy to slip and Fear would hold the handle with much eagerness.

And when I see how full grown adults take turns blaming and burning each other instead of helping and actually doing their jobs, Anger has no problem stepping in. Oh, it's so effortless.

Thankfully, I've arrived at the acceptance stage.

When the pandemic hit, I felt like going through the stages of grief at the beginning.

Denial.
Anger.
Bargaining.
Acceptance.

The early stages of the crisis (in my personal life and in the world) were the toughest ones.

It took me a while to believe that this is actually happening. It's not another Hunger Games movie. It's real! And we're all in it.

Life could get messy sometimes. But it changes. We're not here permanently. We're just passing through.

The earlier we accept this fact, the faster we can move our lives forward

I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 
I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize 
for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
-Philippians 3:13-14


Your turn

  • What life stage are you in now?
  • What do you hope to happen after the crisis?


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