Lux Thinking Aloud

A Letter To The Most Difficult Person In My Life

8:14 AM

If you don't value yourself, you allow harmful people to steal away your time, or your health, or your peace, or your purity, or your freedom, or your money, or your dignity.
-Bo Sanchez

A Letter To The Most Difficult Person In My Life

I release you.

Or rather, I release myself from your grip.

I free myself from your prison. I am walking out. 

I have given you all the understanding and attention you needed. I have been empathetic with your struggles. I have so selflessly and generously given you my time---which is needless to say, a part of my life.

I have offered you genuine friendship, but you choose to walk all over me.

You seem to be too preoccupied in your own world. You want people to listen when you talk, but you can't lend your ear to others. Unless they say something of your interest, or if they say something good about you.

You despise those who point out the wrong you have done. You hate criticisms no matter how constructive they are. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you are far from perfect.

You have been one-sided. You are too quick to to see the wrong in others and judge them for their weakness and fault. You miss the speck in your eye because you're busy pointing at the log in your brother's eye. You need to check yourself in the mirror again.

I've had enough. I am giving up, not because I don't care but because I love myself too much I am not allowing you to hurt me and treat me unjustly anymore.

I have to keep my self-respect and dignity intact by not allowing people like you to use me when you need me, and ignore me when life is going well for you.

When I let people into my life, I give my all. But, I'm wiser now and I have to stop when I see it being thrown away. I'd rather give it to those who also want to keep me in their lives for better or for worse. Because that's what friendship is about. It's a give and take.

I hear you call people "friend" and trash talk them behind their backs. I see how you measure people according to your rules like you're a judge, like someone with the authority and the privilege to do so.

I know your story and I have to say, some things you do are worse than those you look down on. But, that's not my issue anymore. You're not my burden to carry.

I won't let your negativity steal away my joy.

I won't let your your dark clouds ruin my sunny day.

I don't want to be angry with you because it will only mean you affect me, that you're above me, and that you have control over me. That, I can never allow to happen.

This is my life and I choose to live it according to my own terms. That is, to do more of the things I love and to let go of what's not contributing to my total well-being.

This is my emotions and I choose to be happy. To fill my life with positive vibes. To be free.

Thank you for showing me what I never wanted to become.
Thank you for reminding me again to value and love myself first.

I am going out of this prison I watched you build around me, hoping you'll someday stop and change.

So goodbye, and thanks for the lessons.

I wish you well.

See also:
Unsubscribe From Other People's Drama

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  1. Oh my!...Lux honey you okay?...This is a very deep post....**sigh** Mami....You NEED to do WHATEVER that will make you happy...your happiness should ALWAYS be your #1 priority...don't let anyone tell you know you can always email me lux.....whenever you want....(I will send you an email soon...I just hope I can find it somewhere in your blog)....stay tight mami...

    1. Hiya, Tibs! Thank you so much! I am okay now. I have, as I've mentioned on this post, released myself from that toxin. :) I owe it to myself to be happy and to walk out of anything that's not treating me well. :)

      Thanks again. Talk to you soon. ;)

  2. You could have been writing the words of my life here... especially 'him' ... he never seemed to judge me until someone came into his life, then I look back and realize he used to judge others and I had ignored that flaw because we all have them but that was the wrong one to ignore because if he judge other people, it should have told me that he would do the same to me and he did...

    This was so open and brutally honest... I was very touched...

    1. I'm glad it's over for you, Launna. You are better off.

  3. AWESOME. I struggle to balance loving those who are harmful to me, while not allowing them to be a toxic force in my life.

    1. It is a struggle indeed. Good for you for trying.

  4. Excellent post ,,I could relate, and glad you are free...the quote is so true. I have had to let many toxic people go in my life, for my sanity and inner peace...