Single Life

The One Who Got Away

9:53 PM

The One Who Got Away
Of all sad words of tongue or pen, 
the saddest are these, 'It might have been'.
-John Greenleaf Whittier




How often do you think about the one who got away? I always say, I'd rather be the one who got away than the one who let go and forever live in regrets. It will be torture!

Things don't always end up the way we want them to and there's nothing we can do but accept it. Let go and move on so they say.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I still find myself wondering about the what ifs.

What if I tried again?
What if I believed the story, accepted the apology and gave it another chance?
What if I stretched my patience a little bit more?
What if I tried to understand more?
What if I fought harder?
What if I didn't give up?

I'll never know. I guess it will always stay that way. I guess it's better to stay that way.

I know that once in our lives, we meet someone we thought we'd spend our happily ever after with before life took over and changed everything:

The plans we carefully made for our future with this person ended. Reality cut like a knife and woke us up from our beautiful dreams, forcing us to go back to the real world and deal with the pain that we thought would never stop.

Maybe for another person, you are the one who got away. I believe it's part of the plan; to meet someone whose memories we'll forever cherish but whom we NEED to let go. It's not my kind of plan too, but what can we do?

Life's a bitch.

A friend of a friend posted this on Facebook (we don't know who the author is) and it's too good not to share. It speaks a lot about the one who got away---something most people can relate to.

We all have someone that got away. For all of us, here's one good read:


The One Who Got Away

(Author Unknown)

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special and ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with...and the one who got away.

Who is the one who got away? I guess it’s that person with whom everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person nor flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flash point of that fact. 

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. 

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully, you’re single or be in a long-term relationship, or be married with three kids…it doesn't matter. All you know is that you have changed. And for some reason, the one who got away, is the first person you think about. 

You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” , “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?”

The one who got away is– the biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.


If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one who got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one who got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple –find him or find her. The very existence of the “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder…what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee. Ask her out to a movie. It doesn't matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one who got away” as well for the person who is your “the one who got away.” You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. It would be a great feeling in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one who almost got away.”


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58 comments

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  1. My biggest regrets are the relationships where I fought too hard for too long to make it work. I guess in doing that, I don't have a "one that got away" because I hung on to the very end! If I could go back, I always say I would tell those guys to kiss my butt at the very moment they started treating me badly--but now that I've read this, I realize if I'd done that, I would have always wondered. At least now I know!

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  2. What a lovely and right post :)))
    Great!!!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  3. I believe that the one that got away got away for a reason, if they weren't the right one then, they're not the right one now.

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  4. OMG you are an amazing writer
    I ones had ' the one that walked away' and he is married now and i ain't but guess what? that doesn't bother me because the one am with is giving me peace of mind
    fashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com

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  5. I've dated a lot of guys and many I Iiked very much. I am with the person I'm supposed to be with. All those others were just others. No what ifs in my life. In my younger years there were what ifs. As you get older to see far more clearly.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  6. I do not believe in regrets. Each relationship is a learning experience and once it's over it is in the past.

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  7. This is a great pep talk and a beautiful message. I think I;m ready for Valentine's Day now. :)

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  8. I thankfully don't have any person in my life that got away. If we part, means you were originally not meant to be in my life, you didn't get away. I don't have such sentiments :)

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  9. Amazing post, so deep. You made me think about people I lost contact with. I have no regrets about other men, but would like to get in touch again with some old friends. I agree with you on the timing.

    Jasmine xx

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  10. The picture of the girl walking away is so perfect for this. Such a good and true read!

    Shauna

    www.lipglossandlace.net

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  11. Thanks for sharing the piece ... loved it :-)

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  12. Hi Lux! I am married, and so I do believe I am with the person God wanted me to be with. Sure, I dated a bit, and had a relationship or two that I thought would last. But when you think about all the problems and issues people have dating, it's amazing that my husband and I made it!
    It's true that timing has a lot to do with it. I was ready to settle down, and I guess he was too. I hope you will find 'the one who got away' or a new 'best buddy' who will light up your life.
    Blessings!
    Ceil

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  13. Such a good post! Sometimes those "what ifs" are fun to think about, but being able to move on is priceless :)

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  14. This is such a great read! Everything in life is always a "what if" I say we all need to live everyday to the fullest and not worry over the small stuff because at the end of the day if we don't do what we truly wanted to do all we are left with is a "what if"

    http://floralsandsmiles.blogspot.ca/
    twitter.com/floralandsmiles
    PS, we followed you on twitter doll! :)

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  15. Lovely story for a lovely post and lovely month!!!!
    Have a lovely day!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  16. I never thought of it I usually end a relationship without looking back, now you got me thinking.

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  17. Hi, dear SuperLux! This is a great topic to which everyone can relate. I don't know if I was ever "the one that got away," but I often think back to several women that I let slip away. When I do, I initially feel a twinge of regret and want to kick myself. However, if I take a few moments to think it through and remember all the circumstances that were in place at the time and the aspects of the relationship that were not working, then I am confident that I made the right decision. I don't believe the Hollywood myth that there is only one special person in the world that is my soul mate, my perfect match. That kind of thinking is romantic but totally unrealistic. When you get to be my age you will appreciate having had the opportunity to experience many different relationships of varying duration and with different levels of commitment. Making mistakes and learning from them is part of life. Enjoy the ride even when you are carrying a broken heart with you.

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  18. Lovely post - thought provoking. What if? I do think believe though that things are fated, pre-destined - what is meant to be will be, what isn't will not. Guess we will just have to keep on moving, make the best of things ahead...and not look at the bridges we're burning.

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  19. Interesting, but until a love we can not know if it's good, sometimes looks can be deceiving is not live, we must be content with what I lived and what's coming in the future!

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  20. I had two that (got away) I actually let them go, because they were not following Jesus. God sent me one to keep and to never let him get away. We have been married since 1949 - that is 65 years. Thank you for visiting my site and your sweet comment.

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  21. This is a great topic, I never got away with anything regards relationship, Infact I gave up on love.
    http://sophialastyles.blogspot.co.uk/

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  22. Yes, there were many beautiful, lovable people I knew long ago and I am proud and honored to be part of their pasts. Then, when SHE came along at a very inconvenient time --I had little money, no advantages beyond being young, threatened with the military draft and so much to get done. What can I say? Love has no respect for how very busy one is; it hits when it hits. I remember wondering: Why now? Why not 5 years from now, or a year even? We are still together 45 years later. Never got away from doubt --or each other. Life is like that, damn thing works out all the time if you're not too nervous about details. All our best wishes.

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  23. Very interesting read, thank you.

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  24. I think you're right. Everyone has one who got away. Grampy and I dated off and on for about 18 years before the time was right and I am so glad we did. Life with us now is wonderful and back when we first met we weren't ready and had we married then, we wouldn't be together now. I'm glad we waited and I'm glad we persevered!

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  25. you know, you can always try again...sometimes it may just be timing that causes things not to work out...and maybe a little maturity as well...the future will be what it is...and what we choose to make of it...

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  26. Edith Piaf sang "je ne regrette rien" (I don't regret anything) and I think that's a a good way to live your life. Or in my own words, there's no Mr Right, there's only a Mr Righter!

    Suze | LuxuryColumnist

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  27. I do believe timing plays a great part.

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  28. I seriously was touched by this... I do believe that you can have the one who got away but I also think it is more there loss than yours ... When I think about the one that got away with me, he lost much more than I lost... he lost me... He will have to live with that for an eternity. I will go on and find a better love, since I deserve that... this made me cry... xox

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  29. What a beautifully, truthfully written piece :) Thank you for sharing!

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  30. this is a nice read for this month ... it does make me reflect on old relationships ... i try not to have regrets, and just think that if things didn't work out, there were still always lessons learned :)

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  31. Your posts are always amazing dear..
    Loved this one too...:-P

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  32. A wonderful, thought provoking post, and great timing for it as well.

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  33. I have no regrets for my past relationships. Yea, some of them were great and i cried that they ended but you know what? I am happy with the one I'm with and that's where I'm meant to be. If you have fought to keep a relationship and it still didn't happen then it's not meant to be.

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  34. Nice post.

    http://teryskills.blogspot.pt/

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  35. Thanks for sharing your thoughts ~ I don't like regrets but timing is important, not just in love, but also in career choices ~

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  36. This was beautiful!!! I loved reading this - it tugged my heartstrings at times but was absolutely perfectly written. Author unknown!? Really??? Was it you or did you find it??? It's so lovely, really!!

    http://www.mystery-girl007.blogspot.com/

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  37. This post is nice, I love the pictures!

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  38. It takes two hands to clap. Thus in friendship, its the same. Friends have to value each other. Otherwise, we have let go and move on.

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  39. Long time ago when I was a child, we were listening to a drama in an AM station and it was about a couple who fell in love in less than hour after they first met. My sister did not believe it happened in that instant, and so my mother went on to explain how mysterious, magical, and complicated LOVE is! You can't really apply science or logic to it. Even my parents do not know what made them fall in love with each other. It just happened!

    I agree that timing gets in the way, not only in love but also in career and other things.

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  40. Hello greetings.

    Very interesting post.

    MAN PROPOSES AND GOD DISPOSES. Very often we make plans but our plans go awry.

    In his poem TO A MOUSE Robert Burns writes as follows

    But Mousie, thou are no thy-lane,
    In proving foresight may be vain:
    The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men,
    Gang aft agley,
    An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
    For promis'd joy!

    When our plans go wrong, the expectation of joy disappears and we are filled with grief and pain.

    If love is to endure, i believe we should drop false pretensions, we should be plain as we are and not put on a show. We should remember that we will not be able to put upt a show for ever and sometime or the other our real personality will come out. In love lot of gives and takes are necessary from both parties. If only one party gives in all the time, will tantamount to exploitation and love will not last.

    Wonderful post. I hope and pray that you will succeed in meeting your ideal partner.

    Best wishes

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  41. ;)

    Gostei do post!

    Ótima sexta!

    Beijo! ^^

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  42. Although I try to regret for nothing, I am not happy for a relationship of mine in the past. I try to not think about it, but it's part of my life, so I guess I have to accept it. Interesting read!

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  43. This was so beautiful to read. Thanks for posting this. It most certainly is the love month coming up and I can't wait for it :)

    Kay of Pure & Complex
    www.purecomplex.com

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  44. Yike...this hit close to home. If I knew what I knew now, I would have not regretted anything. They are a reason a relationship comes to an end.

    Kreyola Jounerys | Instagram

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  45. I think there is a different between what if and regret. with every decision you make, you usually say yes to some, no to other things. wondering about alternative outcomes can be difficult and unpleasant but doesn't necessarily translate into regret. trust yourself. you usually make the decisions and choices you are capable at any given moment. xoxo

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  46. I know there are a lot of examples of people who had "the one" who got away. I also believe that there is a person out there for everyone who is chosen by God for us. We don't always agree and so that could be the person that got away As we approach Valentine's day, I pray that all people know love, especially God's love. Thanks for these words!

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  47. Wonderful Message sweet Lady! Thank you for your amazing Blog <3

    Have a great Saturday ,kisses

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  48. I have similar thoughts

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  49. For me, I am glad he got away! I only ended up finding a better person! :)

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  50. What an interesting post. I do think a lot about love is the right timing. Sometimes people are not ready and a relationship ends, even if the people have a strong connection. I think we might think of someone as the one who got away, but we look at the situation from a different perspective- not the one we were in at the time. At the time, we might of been okay with walking away from the relationship. If people are single and want to pursue the one who got away then there doesn't seem to be any harm. Thanks for sharing. :)
    ~Jess

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  51. Nice, well thought out post.

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  52. This post of yours is certainly fabulous enough to kick start the Love month as you mentioned. Liked the post and article you shared.
    I have for so many times learned that it is easy to say and way difficult to accept the things when it hits us. They say it happens for the reason but reasons are always unknown to us. These uncertain reasons are what makes most of our relationships even more scary and unforgettable.

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  53. Thanks for visiting.

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  54. In a relationship, it's either we gain or lose. There's always a question of what-ifs. It's ok to be doubtful.
    Thank you, Lux, for this eye-opener or rather "heart-opener" post. :)

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  55. Ouch! I think that we do have to move on as the one that 'got away' is getting on with their lives...it definitely brought back memories to those what if's and thinking about how things could have been. Thanks for sharing

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  56. This really did make me think. I have always thought I would rather be the person who got away than regretting it myself... and never imagined that I could possibly someone's got away person. It's weird to think of it like that. But yes, we do have to learn to move on and find new people - ones we won't let slip through our fingers this time round!

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  57. I had to let one get away, because God had a better plan for me. Loved your post

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