Ramblings: It's One Of Those Days3:07 PM
If it's not making me productive, happy, or feel good,
I don't have time for it.
It's one of those days when I try with all my willpower to remember that difficult people deserve my kindness and understanding more than anyone else.
It's when I try to remember the lessons I've learned from listening to inspirational talks and reading good stuff.
It's when I have to look past and play deaf to people begging for attention. Like toddlers having tantrums trapped in an adult's body.
It's when observing people, which I often do turns meh.
It's when people look down on other people just because they sin differently from them.
It's when people act righteous and self-important, focusing on other people's speck in the eye when they have a log in their own.
When I have to ask myself again: why do people dish it out if they can't take it? Some are just plain one-sided.
It's when character is put to the test, at which most undoubtedly and miserably fail.
Once again I have to take a deep breath, and recall the lines: "It's their inner battle. It must be very, very, very hard to be living in their heads."
It's when I have to stop myself from retaliating, and remember that some people are just. not. worth. my. emotions.
It's when being a Christian is something I would most gladly give up temporarily, but can't. Because, what's the essence of being a Christian when I'm only good with people who are good to me? Even pagans do that, right? But, oh, I said that through gritted teeth.
Today is when I question yet again the sincerity of the people around me. Who remains true when you're out of earshot? Why can't we just be consistent?
Why do we associate honesty with bitchiness and settle for fake smiles and insincere hellos instead?
So, yes, today is also the day I'm reminded why I'd rather be anti-social. Content to be on my own. Shut off from the rest of the world. Shrug and be like, whatever.
Because the smiles I see are just as scary as the monsters behind those friendly masks.
Because if it's not making me productive, happy, and making me feel good, I don't want to make time for it.
Because though I have faith in humanity, some people seems hopeless.
Have you had one of those days?
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